Am I blonde yet?

Oh my... I'm frying meat for the family. If I fuck up it's not my fault. Mother will be home late from work today so I'm preparing meat for her. Garghhh, the oil is splashing all over the place. Especially on my hands!
Oh and as I said in my previous post, I dyed my hair yesterday:

Am I blonde yet? :D It actually looks less yellow than it was before. But it's definitely not as light as I want it to be.

This day sucks so much

This day sucks so much. While my mother was dying my hair I got really bad anxiety and it still hasn't subsided. *grunt*
Stupid receptors in my brain that aren't working properly!
It might be cause of the shitty weather we're having today. Mother had pains in her ribcage for the most of the day.
Yeah I'm starting to watch Friends from the beginning again. Hopefully Rachel won't piss me off again. I'm just looking for a fun thing to watch to take my mind off anxiety and to cheer me up.

I don't give a fuck

Man, I hate this whole gay pride business. If it makes a homophobe I don't give a fuck. You can be gay and a normal person. You don't have to be fucking preachy about it. Nobody gives a fuck who you're with, you're not that important or special.

insatiable craving

Oh my goddess! I'm craving sugar so badly right now! I could eat a whole cake factory. I already had these sweet crispy bread thingies but I crave more. It's this insatiable craving. Oh and, no jinx, my nausea just randomly disappeared about two days ago. Whatever body, as long as you're working normally.

I dunno what to eat or drink

Oh my god I'm so tired! I didn't get to sleep enough last night. So because of that I had a sort of a headache for half day. Took a painkiller. Worked.
Then I've felt nauseous for about 5 days. Took pills for that aswell, didn't really work. I think I have IBS. I mean... I must have it. It just feels super weird, like my insides just enlarge and my belly is about to burst. I dunno what set it off though. Yeah I dunno what to eat or drink to settle my tum.

Yeah...and as I stated I'm super tired. We stacked logs with mother all day, then I trimmed the hedge. My feet/legs are killing me. Might go to sleep earlier tonight. Or maybe I'll go and sleep in my brother's tent. He's going to his friends house tonight so....yeah.

today in pics

Here's today in pics:
 
Lembit's sister came over with her man. They also went through all the clothes my uncle bought. Lembit found this cloak. Grimmie!


The tuckered out dogs

This is another cherry beer that I like. I like the Puls one better cause this one tastes like cider, too sweet.

Yeah and I mowed my ass off today again. Will be spending the whole week at my mother's. :)

secondhand

My uncle came to visit us today. He brought bags and bags of secondhand clothes. I got so many new things for myself. Mother got barely anything. Lembit got stuff aswell. Also my brother and his friend and his family. :D
Here are all the bags:
 

Sorting the clothes:


This is almost everything we chose for ourselves:

Oh man...I tried on sooooooooo many clothes.

And now we're trying to have a barbacue...if the weather allows.

I made a funny

Yeah...this girl was asking about Sims 3 baby:
Thanks Aotearoa13!

resting her head on him

Sooo..today we put up nets on our windows to keep all the creepy crawlies out.


 It looks quite fancy, doesn't it? Thing is we didn't have enough of the proper net so we used a curtain. Cut it in pieces.
Then I mowed the lawn again, while the family did this:

The other day I took a pic of our dogs

Look at how cutely she's resting her head on him

And today I saw this gorgeous little fucker! My fave flower bitcheeeessss!

And a couple of selfies...with my bad chin situation in the second pic.



Yeah and I'm super jealous over htis whole Lana and James business :s :'(

a night of nostalgia

Okay, mother and Lembit had a night of nostalgia where they listened to old songs on his tablet.
I quite liked Suzie Quatro. Had never heard of her before tonight.

hopefully it'll bring relief

Oh my god! What is this stupid nausea that I have!? It's so annoying. I cannot be in any position, it all makes me feel super sick. :s I've been taking Cerucal and it doesn't really help. Ughhhhhhh!!!!!
The good thing is, I had a great laugh with my mother today. She's always messing up words and it's so funny. :)
Plus when I got to Melliste today, I got to mow the lawn I didn't get to do on Monday. Was super stoked cause of that. :)
Yehh, there's good stuff happening but it's hard to enjoy it with this nausea. I didn't tell my mother I felt sick but she was like "why are you so fidgety?". She dfinitely noticed I was different. I'll take a bigger dose of Olansapin today, hopefully it'll bring relief.
Oh another bad thing is...my internet sort of stops respondng after a while and the browser doesn't open or load pages. Ugh, I hope it's cause I'm in the country not because of my crappy latop or internet provider.

Yeah and I can upload pics to my blog again. Yay! Here's one I took tonight.

I know I'm fat fuck

Oh yesssss! Just got off the phone with my mum. She said she bought a block of cherry beer. Yummmmm! I wanna go there right now! There's two types of cherry beer and they're both so yummy. I hope it won't make me feel sick. I drank cider a while ago and it made me tipsy and sickly. Ughh...

Yeah... this year it's gonna be good St John's Eve. Apparently the family isn't going anywhere cause of the rainy weather so I won't be alone again.

Oh and here's another pic of my mug, think it's from 2013:

I know I'm  fat fuck. ;)
Or maybe not so much anymore. I've lost about 5 kilos. Weigh about 71 kilos at the moment.

I'd go whereever

Okay now... what the hell is going on!? I could literally sleep all day. I woke up at six pm today. Yeah, I got up and saw the shrink at 12 but still.
Yeah and mother rang me and told me to get a job by the end of the month. I hope so. She was fighting with someone at work. I hope she won't quit and still gets to go to China in October. And she said it's all a big question mark since now they're not talking China anymore but Europe, And mother said she's not interested in Europe. Hell, if my health was fine and I was about to get a free trip I'd go whereever.

Yeah and on my way home from the shrink I went to a couple of shops. Bought rum balls:

Yummm!

best damn feeling

Ahh...meant to post about it looooong time ago but apparently didn't. I just LOVE it when my naked feet hit the sheets. It's the best damn feeling in the world. Dunno what happened today but I woke up at four pm and went back to sleep at 5, slept til 8pm.
???
And it snowed today!
???

some original piece

So I came to town today... on monday like. I didn't plan to.
I was meant to mow the last bit of lawn today but it's been pissing out like crazy. Luckily around five o'clock it stopped so I came to town. Lembit repaired my bike breaks, dunno how long they'll last like that. Think the problem is the...elongated break wire. It's some original piece that cannot be replaced with some random wire. I hope it'll last a while. Til I get a job, cause then I can pay for the repairs myself if needed.
Yeah and I did very good this weekend. Mother praised me for the job I did. She even said she'll buy me a silver shampoo for my blonde hair. It's rather expensive but I really don't want to have yellow hair.

Oh and it's raining now. I feel like going for a walk in the rain with my boyfriend. Yeah I don't have a boyfriend. Not sure I want one. I have quite a few candidates though.

Blonde sheep of the family

Well, here's the result of bleaching. Nothing too extreme. It doesn't really look like blonde anyway.

Lembit has always dyed his hair dark red, now it's brown and I dyed my mum's hair dark brown today. She told me to go dark too but I want to go very light. I'm the blonde sheep of the family.


TE15062014

little bits

Wahh...one set of my bike breaks is busted. Lembit said he'll have a look at it later.
My baby...
This weekend has been quite productive. I pretty much mowed all of the lawn. My brother's out now, mowing the little bits.
Oh and I'll be bleaching my hair today. Hopefully won't look too ridiculous.

Before I forget...

..how I fell for this sexy fucker:

So I saw the trailer for This Is The End. I knew I wanted to see it straight away. A few months later I did see it. Yeah...all I knew was dudes saying they were going to James Franco's house. I had seen every other guy in something before but the James Franco dude was a totally unknown person to me. Never heard of him. Didn't know the face, hadn't heard the name.
Yeah...onto the film... I thought Danny McBride's character was such an asshole. :D I was so....horrified by him that I just had to look him up. I read shit about him and was intrigued. So I watched another film with him in it - 30 Minutes Or Less. I felt indifferent about him in that one, so I decided to go for another film - Your Highness. Oh! My! God! He is the most adorable thing in it! Yeah and I was a bit like...ooh the other guy (Franco) was in This Is The End aswell.
Anyway...I felt really positively about McBride so I decided to watch TITE again because of him. Yeah and it was only then when I was like "Who is this James Franco they're all talking about?!"
So I looked him up on the net. And! Oh! My! God! I loved everything I read about him. Apparently sapiosexuality is an attraction to someone's intelligence. I think I have that for him.

Spot the dogs

Two pics of our beautiful garden:

And I finally learned about one of my favourite patterns. Paisley. It's gorgeous!


TS11062014

Something revolutionary

Oh my! Something revolutionary has happened in my not so important aspect of life. I like the colour red. Burgundy to be precise. Maybe it's a temporary thing but yeah as of now I love it. So far my faves have been green, blue, orange, beige, brown and khaki. And as far as I can remember myself I've always hated red. I remember I once deliberately bought a red top cause I had no red clothing items.
Anyway...check out these beauties:

Or just Google "burgundy"

The colour I hate now is mint. Gross!!!

*grump*

*grump*
My brother ate my chocolate! Not fun! And he didn't even give me any of his crisps!

Camera-whoring

Yeah I gotta plaster my face on the internet before I forget what I look like :D
Camera-whoring:

This was taken today when I came to my mother's place. I don't have any decent pics of our dog Nupi so...

This one was taken right after waking up...think it was yesterday when my computer was installing updates. Like I said in my earlier post, I need technology so while I couldn't use my latop I used my camera.

Oh and just now...I hung out with my brother and his friend Silver for quite some time. I guess they were looking at some films on their laptop when Silver said he hated the film Spring Breakers. :D
He said after watching it he asked himself what exactly had he been watching just now and why he watched it. I said I like "the man" in the film. He said he liked him too. :D So I suggested This Is The End to them. Yeah I said "the man" is in the film. And I showed them my laptop's desktop background which is obviously James Franco. :D They must have thought I was really sad.

I'm procrastinating

Ughh...I feel so guilty today. Feel like I'm procrastinating. Probably cause the weather is so nice out and I'm inside doing nothing. If I was at my mother's I could be outside working. Whenever I'm in town, I'm always inside. I have nowhere to go in Tartu. Sometimes I go on a little bike ride but that's over before you know it.

And I still don't have a job.

Also, I feel a bit guilty cause of men. I've agreed to meet with some of them but I haven't. I just don't wanna take Valium when it's not necessary. And taking it for a quick shag is not necessary. So I haven't had men over. I wouldn't mind shagging but I've told some of the men I'm after a relationship and I wish I hadn't told them that. I'm really not after one. I want a very simple Walk-into-my-room-Take-your-pants-off-Oh-great-you're-hard-I-hop-on-I-hop-off-Bye! type of thing. And the men I have now are all of the ones I've been with before which is also off putting. I feel like they're becoming my ball and chain. Ughhhh!

Yeah...I guess I'll just play the Sims then.

Bitches, that's communism for ya!!!

Yeah...I've ranted about this before but whatever. I have to ask again, why do people hate communism so much!?
Nowadays people are preaching about gay rights and anti racism and anti bullying and shit. Bitches, that's communism for ya!!!
If not political, then social and racial and sexual communism. Damn, people are contradictory.

I nearly wept

Oh my god. I nearly wept right now. I went to the shop yesterday and today and they didn't have blue cheese. I had totally forgotten that I had bought an extra one last week. Just found it in the fridge. Made me so happy! This is the bestest thing I've done to myself in a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time.

don't feel as sick today

Oh my goddess, I felt so incredibly sick yesterday. And I think it was cause I didn't take my pills. I even rode to Tartu to take them. I also took 30 drops of Valium and it made me feel a little better.
When I got home in Tartu I took all of my crazy pills and started feeling really sleepy. Went to bed at 6 and woke up today at about 12. Luckily don't feel as sick today.

like a zombie

Oh my god! I feel like a zombie. Dunno if it's cause I haven't taken my crazy pills or cause I'm PMSing. I feel like curling up in a ball and dying.