Me, anxiety, relationship, boyfriend.

Well well. This thing came up today. As well as two days ago at the doctor's.
Me, anxiety, relationship, boyfriend.
The more I think about it, the more it occurs to me that it was partly my anxiety that broke us up.
From the very first days I became severly sensitive. I'd cry over anything. This I've got from quite a few lads that I'm "too soft", "a softie".
I never make big scenes but... just cry in the corner.

Yeah and then came the times when I'd get overly emotional when the bf went tovisit his mum over the weekend. I'd ball my eyes out when he left and cried again when he got back. The meeting again was a bit worse cause I'd get shaky and sicky feeling in the stomach. Plus the boyfriend noticed it aswell but back then neither of knew it was anxiety. He confronted me about it saying that it seems I only feel sick when he's around. He was right. But I lied and said I feel sick always. I couldn't tell him I randomly start feeling sick when he comes around.
And then all of the nights I'd spend awake when he was gone. I absolutely couldn't sleep when he wasn't by my side. Hence I took quite the liking to Craig David's Insomnia when I once managed to fall asleep watching telly and then waking up in the middle of the night to this song.
Yeah and when we broke up I said I didn't have the energy for anyone else. And granted he was annoyed with it and didn't get it but I couldn't explain it any other way either. My feelings were rather confusing.

Yeah so when talking to the doctor I told her I wasn't really looking for anyone at the minute cause I still don't feel like I have spare energy for someone else. But I'm not worried about finding someone either cause I know if I wanted I'd get whoever I wanted. Ha!:D

Here I am looking like a... person who looks horrible with glasses

So, I've been taking a new pill - Zalasta - an antipsychotic. Helps me eat. Apparently I do have an eating disorder but it's not about body image. I'm like, absolutely terrified of getting sick so my psyche works in a way it thinks it's helping me. It makes me stop eating so I don't have anything to up chuck. How is that helping me again!? Luckily I haven't lost any weight. Well, I did a while ago when I weighed about 55 kg and before that I weighed about 62. Well, right now, just today I weighed 59 so whoop! :D
Oh and I got a hold of my mum's glasses. Here I am looking like a... person who looks horrible with glasses. These are the best pics anyway. And never mind my hair, I washed my hair two days ago and I haven't brushed in months. :D

a bitch is a bitch

Ahahaaa. Ooooh, I'm a troll!
Well, the thing is I signed up on this god awful dog forum to ask why our dog Donna rolls around on foul smelling things. First response was by their moderator who posted this random snarky comment and other cunts followed.
A very warm and welcoming people, just makes you fucking love dogs.

They all made sure I wasn't wanted there because I said if we don't solve the problem the dog will be put down or given away. And obviously those retards got on my back. So when I said something back I was "insulting" them. And when one fat-ass shitfaced cunt-whore said they wish I went away I said I have the same right to be there as them and that was concidered as backseat moderating.

And they obviously didn't like my photos I posted on there so they called it trolling.

Well, since I have quite a bit of time in my hands right now I'm gonna properly terrorise the forum and show them what all those things actually mean. Thank a goddess for dynamic IP!

Luckily I will forever and ever hate dogs and dog people. I mean, a bitch is a bitch.

COTD - Aphrodite///Level myself with the "divine"

Are the cards giving me fashion tips? The question was about my health and college, how I will get on. I also got Freya before which makes me think I just gotta give my all and be the bitch, about my health and life and just go do it. Or maybe level myself (dunno if anyone can actually say so) with the "divine".

Even if things will turn to shit, at the minute the look at my future life seems pretty nice

Woohoo. Just got off the phone with a lady from adoption service.
Well, the thing is, I'm scared to apply for the benefit of disabled persons cause I'm thinking I might not be able to adopt a kid later in life. But the woman said it's very individual and people who are in wheelchairs or have bad diabetes have adopted so.... it depends on my criminal record and on the valuation a psychiatrist gives me when I'm applying for an adoption.
So, tomorrow I'll go and file in the benefit. Plus buy a few things for college.
And I started thinking.... the college building is right next to the madhouse so.. even if I have to go to hospital I'd demand to go to college during the day.
Everything's pretty good at the minute. Even if things will turn to shit, at the minute the look at my future life seems pretty nice.