BFM and Core guy

So yeah I went to the gyno on friday.
No diagnosis or anything yet. My uterla lining was too thick to see it properly. Have to go in on the 25th, hopefully with my periods behind me by that time. You know cause the uterus sheds the lining during period and then they'll see it better. Nothing looked wrong though as much as she could see. She said she couldn't see any cysts. She did take swab tests which results I will receive on the 4th of september! If I have some sort of an inflammation then I just have to suffer til then.
I've been feeling really crappy the past few days. Hvae some weird pains in my lower abdomen. I dunno if it's my uterus or intestines. The spotting has luckily stopped.
I feel so icky today, couldn't sleep at night cause my stomach felt so bad. Like crazy hunger pains. Even now when I've already eaten. Maybe it's the next stage of olanzapine withdrawal. Who the fuck knows! Maybe it's pms.
Well, as far as dudes go... the BFM (boyfriend material) hasn't contacted me yet. He's at work so... hopefully he will himself in the evening. I want him to initiate shit and show interest.
But another guy who I met up with a couple of weeks ago or so wants to meet up next weekend. We should be watching The Core. If the BFM makes it very obvious during the week he's very into me, I'll cancel the Core guy.

Back to the days of regular pregnancy tests I guess

Yay! This bitch got laid. For the first time in years. Um, in 2014 I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't sleep outside of a relationship and I have been keeping it. Til now, sort of. I'm not in a relationship but the guy is not a one night stander.
And he was so nice I just wanted to do it with him. Also, I was scared he'd find someone else to talk to and I wouldn't even get the chance. Kinda like... keeping the guy interested with sex. Lame and insecure I know but he is a nice man and you don't come acorss those that often. So I panicked and wanted to get close to him and thought if I waited to get close to him emotionally first he might lose the interest. I dunno, I'm desperate okay! :D I've been single for like 7 or 8 years and I wanna be done with it! I want a man!
The shitty thing is, the fucking condom came off. And it stayed inside of me!!!! I thought I was gonna have to go to the doctor to get it out but luckily he did it.
Fuck, I just hope I won't fall pregnant cause we were going at it before I realized it had come off. Ugh. Back to the days of regular pregnancy tests I guess.
And then we like cuddled and shit. Was nice. Would like to keep doing it. I wanna like cuddle and watch a film together. Waah!I hope he's interested and attracted enough :(
I dunno if he is though cause he doesn't text me much or talk to me much on the interent, although we do chat quite a bit when we're together in person. Okay I can't talk that much about him on my blog cause he said he doesn't have FB and some other social media sites cause he doesn't like to share his life online. So I hope there's gonna be a lot of stuff in my life with him that I won't be talking about :)

Such boyfriend material

Okay, I met up with this cute and super nice guy. He said he'd want to meet again but... I'm afraid we won't. Ugh. He seems so so so good though. Such boyfriend material.

Bitch, what did I say some time ago?

Omg, I just read that Olanzapine can cause lactation. Bitch, what did I say some time ago? Like in winter or some winters ago? I was lactating! I don't think I ever figured out why at the time.
I was just googling the pill to find out why it may cause spotting. Didn't find that but I will most definitely be mentioning the lactation to the gyno tomorrow :)

We shared the love of smoothies

So I had a date with this guy called Kristoffer today. He was a film director-musician-actor-volunteer-free spirit-globe trotter-type of a dude.
We shared the love of smoothies. Also, he was short, skinny and dark haired. Nice too.
We went and sat by the river in town, in the sun (I got a tan!). He played/sang me some songs on his guitar. then he gave me a massage and cuddled me, on the grass.
Then we went back to my place and made smoothies and ate some food we had bought from the shop. He's a vegetarian. I put milk in the smoothie. He didn't mind luckily.
He asked if I wanted to kiss and I said no lol. Kissing's way too intimate on a first date.
And for some reason I wasn't fully feeling him. Like, there was nothing to dislike but I didn't feel the proper attraction. Yet, anyway.
Oh and he is not a local. He's from Tallinn.

Yeah and then I'm supposed to meet another guy at the weekend. Will see if it happens or not.

And... I have gyno appointment tomorrow. Been putting off shaving til tomorrow :D