Stoner

Yeah, I find the fishies at work so cute. They're always eating pebbles and spitting them out. They did it a lot today but everytime I went over to film, they started swimming around and looking at me instead. I only caught one fish, spitting one pebble but sometimes they seem to take a whole mouthful.

two weeks

Yeah I'm going off my iron pills. For two weeks. To see if they are the cause of my headaches and poor wellbeing. If I get better I have to go in for blood tests just after a month on the pills. Called the dotctor, talked to the nurse, said I have to eat red meat, liver and beet for two weeks. Yeah I'm afraid beet and liver are out. :D They're the grossest. Maybe I'll buy tomato juice or something. Have to research the food with lots of iron in them.
Yeah and today, after maybe even years, I woke up by myself, and I felt like I wasn't ready to get up, like I wanted to sleep some more. But it was time to get up. Felt weird and deprived. Oh well. I slept for about 8 hours so it should be enough.
Oh and the night when mum came over... went well. I got done pretty quickly at work, was in my turbo mode. We came back, ate and mum went to sleep, I played the sims til 5 am or so. She didn't give out to me or anything. Yay!
And dunno if I mentioned it already but the audit thing at work went well aswell. No comments on the cleaning/cleanliness whatsoever.
Yehh, that's it.

a bad move

Yeah okay, more whining!
I think it was a bad move to try and go off of Escitalopram this month. I'm taking the pill normally now and still feel like crap. And a few days ago I thought I was sick or something. And I get ocassional headaches to this day. As I've said before, I do not get headaches normally. So I thought it might be me staying up late but I get enough sleep anyway, even when I stay up late cause I wake up late aswell.
So now the only conclusion I've come to is that my poor health is caused by iron tabs. And going off Escitalopram was made so much worse cause of the iron tab side effects. I'll try to ring my GP tomorrow and ask her if I should/can stop the iron. Maybe I can go get my blood test done again and maybe it'll come out fine even after 1 month on the pills. Shit and I've been thinking all this time that I've had a little setback cause of my antidepressant/-psychotic.

a bunny and a wolf

Okay, I'm sat here thinking about anxiety. I said pretty much everything I have to say on the subject in this post.
What got me writing was what people tell you when you have anxiety. I've definitely complained about this before and now I'm gonna complain some more. I loathe when doctors, therapists, people, anxiety pamphlets say that when you get anxiety to just...breathe. Fuck that! This is a flight or fight situation. This is how it works:
Say there's a bunny and a wolf. The wolf is very hungry, threatening and no bullshit kinda wolf. It needs to feed and it needs to do it now! Do people really think when the bunny goes, "Okay, there's the hungry wolf. I'm not gonna run away or fight it, I'm just gonna breathe," that it solves the situation!? Anyone with a half a brain will tell you the wolf doesn't give a fuck about the bunny's breathing. If it just sits there, breathing, the wolf's gonna devour it. And I've never heard of how a bunny kills a wolf. The best thing you can do, when it comes to anxiety, is get yourself away from the stresser, out of that damn situation, flight.
Fuck your breathing, seriously!

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"laptops with HQ and MQ processors are quad core. If your laptop has a U" processor they are only dual core."

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