I feel so insecure, almost hurt

Ughh, I feel so insecure, almost hurt. This thing won't end well. Not for me anyway. And when it all blows up in my face I'll only have myself to blame.

I'm a little worried

So I'm a little worried about myself right now. Mother will be leaving for China on friday. I'm scared I'll get the same kinda anxiety as I did when my ex went to Ibiza. Oh my god, that was definitely one of the worst nights of my life.
She will be going to Finland first and I told her to ring me from there to hear how her flight was. I hope it'll go well so I can be calm.
And then I'm worried about cooking. I came to mum's place today and will be staying here til she comes back, cooking and cleaning. I've had a couple of cooking crash courses.

loved loved loved

Ahh... had such a lovely date with Aksel. I loved loved loved the hugging. I could do without the kissing and sex (not that there was anything wrong with either of those) but the hugging was unbelievable!
He left a couple of hours ago but I already want to do it all over again.

Too bad I can't have him.