felt so bad and upset

So I was just taking a nap with the window open. Was woken by two people arguing outside. My heart started pounding super fast and I felt so upset lol I had to get up. I didn't catch the whole argument but I think there was a guy in a car and a woman on a bike with her kid somewhere and they were trying to cross the road and the man in the car told her to get off the bike or something. I dunno, I felt so bad and upset.

Doesn't go unnoticed

Okay, saw I'm taking Olanzapine every 4 days now. My body's responding. Doesn't go unnoticed. Unfortunately. So far it's not unbearable. I'm just clenching my jaw again. Started a couple of days ago. Hopefully nothing else/worse will show.
Yeah, still at my old place. Probably will be moving on Friday.

such an ignorant fucking cunt

Shit, I feel even worse now. I googled about my cactus. To help it. And I came across this:

The bigger cactus I have had this little dark fluffy thing on it and I picked it off!!!!!! Cause I thought it was a dead baby. Shit! I'm a such an ignorant fucking cunt!!!! Fuck!!!!! It was gonna be a fucking flower!!!!!! Shit I hate how fucking stupid I am!!! My poor cacti have to suffer cause of me. Makes me wanna cry. I just want the best for my babies and I keep screwing them up!!
I can literally feel physical pain in my chest from my stupidity and the hurt I've caused to my plants.
Fuck!
Like I'm in panic mode right now. I know my plants are not well, well the little one anyway, and I wanna do something eventhough I know (but what the fuck do I really know anyway!?) that the best thing to do right now, is just let them be.