Ugh

Ugh, okay. I think I have the "stomach flu" again. I don't feel nauseous yet but the immense exhaustion is setting in and the feeling of fainting aswell. What the fuck!? I don't understand what is wrong. I've never had something like this happen to me. Ever. I'm even too tired to type. My arms/hands literally feel like they have weights on them. And I've had a sore back for the longest time which is super fucking weird too. It was really bad last night, should have known it means a sleepless night. Ugh.

on fire

As per usual, I can't have a nice life. Couldn't sleep last night at all. I don't even know what I felt. Just sick and couldn't sleep. Body went crazy. Took diazepam just in case, didn't make a difference so must have been something else. Thought maybe it was the food I ate, the pork but didn't feel particularily nauseous. Then thought it must have been the iron pill I took right before bed. Ehh, who konws. Anyway, today I feel like death. Have absolutely no energy to do anything. Body feels like it's on fire, not hot but just so... on fire. A weird sensation. Maybe it's an olanzapine withdrawal symptom, who the fuck knows. But I kinda think I'd have the symptoms all the time then not random odd days. I just wanna take some pill to feel beter but don't know what to take. Diazepam doesn't help, have no pains so no use of painkillers, don't have particular nausea to take anti-nausea pills. Would drink coffee to get energy or even an energy drink but my body already feels jittery as it is. I napped for two hours and it made me feel worse. Great. I just don't know what to do with myself. How do I put out that fire in my body? I'm thinking of quitting the iron pills. I'll have the pork tonight aswell, if it makes me feel sick again then I'll know it's the food but if I feel okay I'll quit the pills. I only have three left anyway so... Will call the doc on tuesday for my blood test results. They checked early for iron aswell. I hope they find an inflammation in my body cause I dunno what is going on with me. But the tests will most probably come out fine and it is the good old anxiety/wonky brain making me feel like this, again as per usual.

Ah well, all is well

Wow, just cooked for about two and half hours. I fucking made pork for the first time ever! Ilme did guide me a little. Next time I'll know what to do. Basically you fry it a little at the start, then "boil" it for an hour. Then I added two packets of frozen string beans and one packet of chopped spinach. Oh and seasoned it with salrt, some Jamaican seasoning and soy sauce. Came out pretty nice.
But I royally fucked up the mashed potatoes. I forgot to salt the potatoes when they were boiling and for some reason they ended up super super super sweet. It literally tastes like I added sugar to them. I mean I salted them when I put the milk and butter in but it stills tastes gross. Maybe the milk had gone off lol.
Anyway, I cooked meat!
Oh and today was a cute day. I went to the doctor on thursday, did my blood test. You know, cause I have had stomach flu three times since the end of april. The doc said this year there's more stomach flu cases than normally. Just wanna make sure it's nothing else.
Yeah then on my way home from the doc I got a call from the receptionist saying I had left my ID card behind. So today I went to fetch it. Also took in my urine test. For some reason the doctor didn't want my poop sample. She even said herself she knows I have problems with the whole digestion thing, stomach flu you know, but she didn't want a sample of that. Weird.
Anyway, so later on mu m came to town. She had a day off. We went shopping and eating. Fuck it feels so nice to eat out like a normal person. I had some chicken feta cheese salad.
Yeah and she was looking for certain type of shoes which she found. Were cute enough. So, we looked at tons of shoes and I saw a pari of cute ones myself. Just little open sandals. Didn't take a pic of them on my feet cause my toes nails a manky. :D
Oh and yesterday I bought a sandwhich maker. Haven't used it yet. Bought ham for the sandwhiches though. Ate it all by itself.
Ohhhhh! And before I met up with mum I was on the phone with someone, put the phone in my bag and rode a little, maybe for a minute. Then for some reason I went to check my phone. It was gone! I took out all of my shit from my bag and checked all my pockets. Nothing!
I was freaking out a little and super annoyed with myself.
I went to Telia quickly to cancel my number/contract in case someone found my phone and started racking up my bill. Got to the shop. Told my story and the dude started the process. Then I was like, can you maybe ring my number, maybe someone who found my phone will answer. And the fucking thing started ringing in my bag!!!!!! Fuck! I felt so bad for wasting his time and being an idiot. Whatever though. I still have my phone. I was just annoyed as I'm still paying the afterpayments and I just got my cute new phonecase. Ah well, all is well.