SO I went to the gynecologist recently. Not even gonna talk about how stupid it was. I literally couldn't even tell the doc why I was there. She just asked when my last period was and if I've had kids. Wow, so much information! She absolutely can diagnose me on this! This was literally all the information I could tell her. She didn't even ask why I was there as she had been late to work herself and was rushing me out the office and just so she could say I was seen by the doc so I have nothing to complain about. Bitch! I literally couldn't say a word.
Anyway, when she asked me if I had had kids I told her no. And she told me why not. I said there's no good men out there to have a baby with. And then she told me to hurry cause women at 35 and plus are "dangerous" pregnancies already,
So yesterday I talked to my stepmum. About men. She at first thought my standards might be too high. Then I told her about my men. She literally told no to every man I talked about. So... do I have high standards? No. Men just suck ass.
As of now, well, recently, I've had two men for try. I haven't slept with either and don't plan to.
The first one seemed nice at first but I was in no way attracted to him. The biggest turn off was his smoking. Look, I will not be with a man if I can't be intimate with him in any way because his stink literally makes me gag. I absolutely need to be affectionate physically and all over my dude. But I will never do it if he smells like shit. I simply do not have to gag every time I wanna be around my man. Never gonna happen.
And then lately I dunno what's going on and I don't wanna know. He seems to be too depressed. He is not my man, I've only seen him a few times so I literally do not have to put up with any man who has such depression problems. I've had enough mental health crap in my life, I'm not about to have a man with the same shit. I don't wantthat shit back in my life, not in me not in my man. I am in no obligated to cater to his depression as I barely know him. I will not go and be fairy godmother to him. I am not a psychiatrist.
His job was renting a room out of an apartment for him. And now the workplace said they will stop renting. He was given a month of advance. What does he do? He just freaks out saying how life can fuck you over at any moment and everything is crashing down. How did he get so unlucky. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiggghhhhh. We live in the second biggest fucking town in the country. He could find a new place within a day, if not that than definitely in the first week. He just gives up and whines how everything is so horrible. There literally is no problem. Not with the apartment anyway. But he's saying how he needs to go to the madhouse now cause life is so horrible cause of it. He says he needs to quit working too and move back home with parents or something. No but really, where is the drama here? What is the problem? I gave him the number to my old apartment where they had an empty room. And he didn't call them. He said that he had found "the ad" for it online and they had put a "different address" in there and they were "asking for more money". Um dude... you know, more than one place a renting places in this town and you just found a different ad. How in the world does that dude's mind even work? Does it even work!? He called me at 11pm one night. I didn't answer cause I knew it wasn't gonna be a nice chat and I didn't wanna hear him whine cause I just don't have to. Then the next day I asked him what he wanted, online. He started saying he just wanted to tell me how horrible everything is. No! I will completely cut him out of my life. I don't need this depressing shit. I dunno if he expects me to take his hand and walk him to a new apartment or what?! Fucking baby shit! H eliterally is not doing anything to find a new place. He just overdramatizes shit and does nothing. Fuck! You have a month to find a new place in the second biggest town in the country! How is that life fucking you over?! I do not have to deal with his childishness nor his inability to sort shit out. I literally do not need a man like this in my life. I am not his mother nor his therapist. I barely know him and I am not gonna listen to him whine cause I gave him the phone number to my old place, he didn't call them, not my problem, never was either. I didn't even have to give him the contact and I literally do not have to do anything else for him.
The second dude... well, apparently he never went to kindergarten. He dropped out of school. And he can't keep a job. He does like a few months in one place. How the fuck can you have a secure future with someone like that? Plus he says that he needs to drink alcohol to keep depression away. I tell him alcohol is a depressant. He says only when you're sad. Sure thing! Alcohol completely changes how it affects the body depending on your "mood". He said it was stupid to drink when you're already sad. But.. he said he needs to drink to keep depression away... and it's stupid to drink when you're already sad... dude, you said it yourself.
So if I don't have a baby with these two my standards are too high?
