FUCK!

Ughhhhh...my father is totally doing my head in again.
Everything I do or say is just wrong.
Like when I say I want a job I like he says I'm like a little baby.
He says that people really do think and live like he thinks is right.
Seriously, you're not a fucking god or anything equivalent.
You're just some average man doing something you hate.
And when I say that if life is so goddamn miserable then I really should have killed myself cause apparently there is no chance ever to be happy then he starts going on about how life is a struggle and you have to live with depression.
Like, what the fuck is his problem?!
He's not happy when I want to study and not work.
He's not happy when I'm looking for a job and want to live my own life.

Not every fucking person in the world works in a goddamn sawmill, for Christ's sake!!

There are people out there who enjoy what they do very much and are happy.

Jesus...parents are totally there to be hated.
There's no other use of them.
Fucking cunts!

I will find a job, get my own place and my father can fucking kiss my ass.
FUCK!

planning on moving to a bigger town

Phew, thankfully I didn't have to travel today.
Seriously the nervous breakdowns and panic attacks I get when travelling are interfering with my natural healthy menstrual cycle so I cannot afford to travel. It just costs me money, health and sanity.

Anyway, to avoid travelling in the future I'm planning on moving to a bigger town.
Either Viljandi or Tartu.
Have to find a job first and then move.
And I seriously don't care about any economy crisis or no-available-jobs-gibberish, cause I need a job and I need to get on with my own life.

Oh and I planned on buying this really nice black bra but the damn shop has been closed for about 4 days now.
How annoying!?

Ahhh....I just feel so happy for not having to travel today.

Last week I didn't go to the belly dance practice nor the violin lesson.
I'm not sure whether I'll be going to belly dance today either.
I'm just lazy and...need to find a job quickly.

I just don't. Wanna. Do. It.

Gah..have to travel today again.
I cannot even sleep cause I'm so nervous.
I just don't. Wanna. Do. It.
Ugh..half an hour on the train.
I will go mad, I'm telling yous.
Blahh.... I just hate travelling soooooo much!