Maybe I've talked about this but whatever. Here goes... When I was about 15 and still in school, some classmates of mine went to this camp. When they came back they told stories of the camp. One story was that they were shown videos of men and women masturbating. They were educative. The type of videos mentally ill people are shown to teach them satisfy their needs. And the man at the camp told everyone to masturbate cause apparently it was good for you. Yeah... I tried a few times but can't remember much about it. All I know is I've always failed at it. I fiddle around for about a minute then get bored. I'm not doing it for myself. Yeah the bigger fails are here:
1. A pen - I guess I wanted to try something other than my fingers or hand so... I turned to a pen. Yeah I could walk around all my life with a pen inside me and I'd have no idea. I felt absolutely nothing.
2. A hairbrush - not the bristled end! The handle part. I didn't have anything else around that looked like a stick so I used the hairbrush. I put the condom on it and everything. Yeah, I got a yeast infection from that session. Fail!
3. A vibrator - I went down the normal person path with this one and bought a vibrator. I remember when I was in the shop there were different sizes and shapes. I didn't wanna buy a tiny stick-like one and there were some massive ones on the ground like freaking decorative floor vases. So I bought a "medium" one that looked like a penis. Um... when I went to try it out, I couldn't get it in. Plus the vibration made my hand numb and it did nothing for my ladyparts.
4. Showerhead - I had heard showerheads were good. And when it hits the right spot, it feels nice. So this one time I gave it a go in shower. Yeah I somehow hurt my clit and it was sore for the rest of the day. Never trying that again. Or masturbating in general.
Friday, February 19, 2016
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