take care of myself myself

I just hate how fucking financially supportive my parents are. Fuck yous! I'm a big girl, tell me to take care of myself myself!

a big ass fucking change

Ok, school is cancelled. I'm going to sign the new contract with the new place on saturday I think. And once I'm settled in there, I'll look for an extra job. The heating bills are a little higher in the winter so I need a little bit more money. But the amounts the landlord/apartment owner told me were from last winter when the windows were old and the thermal insulation wasn't installed yet so I'm sure the bills will go a little smaller next winter.
Plus they have limitless internet wifi there so I could cancel my internet stick and gain 40 euros. Or I can use some of their wifi and get a cheaper smaller data deal with my stick.
Ahhhh, my anxiety is so bad though. Definitely cause I only slept for almost three hours last night cause I was so nervous about seeing the places today and now I'm anxious about moving. It's a big ass fucking change okay.

no old people

So today I went to see two flats. The first one was super, the second was Ilme vol. 2.
I'm just waiting for a call from the first one about expenses during winter time. If they're not too bad, I wanna move there :D
I'm so fucking anxious about it. Like my stomach churns and I feel uncomfortable. Am hungry but too nervous to eat lol. It felt really comfortable and homey there. I mean it looked crappy like a rental room would look like but it was nice. And there's no old people!

a life is destroyed

So this little clothing moth just flew onto my laptop. I wanted to sweep it off cause I get annoyed when something is flying around in front of me and I squashed it. I feel so bad. It was totally going on about its day like a normal little moth and I just killed it. It was alive, living it's moth life, a few seconds ago and now a life is destroyed.
I know they do bad shit but I still feel bad.

The only things I don't mind killing are gnats. But I read only the female ones bite humans and that they have babies somewhere. So I'm basically killing mothers and orphaning children.  Don't attack me and hurt me then! It's only self defence. Think about your children!