Hag!

I got a bollocking from the mother for still not working. Ughhh, it's not my fault I have anxiety and can't do shit.
Then she gave out to me for not doing something about my anxiety. Like, I'm so sick of it. Don't wanna hear about it, much less deal with it. She wants me to go to a psychologist. Blah.
Anyway, will go to mother's place... today. When I wake up in the morning. It's the mother's birthday on the 13th. She's turning 50!!! Heheeehee. Hag!

And then I talked to my er...owner of the appartment I live in, I'll call her Aunt Ilme from now on. Yeah, I talked to her about my fear or vomiting. She says when she feels even slightly sick she sticks her fingers down her throat and she feels much better straight away. How do people do it!?

Yeah and I've noticed I have a reader from America coming back to my blog, so... Hello there! :)

Ions

In town. We had a lady over who wanted to sell this air clearing machine thingy. She said humans can't really tell a difference between clear and clearer air. The only difference they can tell is that the air is fresher outside. And that's because there are negatively charged ions there.
She said laptops and other electrical appliances "produce" positively charged ions and they're bad for you. Maybe that's why I have anxiety.

Anyway, I had this major anxiety attack when I went in for a try day at a gardening centre type of place. Have to go back there tomorrow. Hopefully I won't get that really bad kind of anxiety like I did today.


TS09042013

Super weird!!!

Okay, something weird has happened in my room at my mother's place.
On Monday I left the place and left a croissant on a table. Today, I came into my room and it was scattered all over the floor. If it had been the dogs they would have eaten the thing. And I doubt my brother would do it. When I let the dogs into my room today, the first thing they did was eat the croissant off the floor.
Then I had a bag of crisps on the floor, serving as a trash can. All of the trash had been taken out and crisps were all over the floor. The bag itself was standing up. Again, if it had been dogs, they would have eaten the crisps. And, again, don't think my brother would do it. Let alone my mother or her man. Super weird!!!

here we go

Oh here we go with the headaches again. Woke up with a headache this morning. Then it didn't pain me most of the day and it's starting again just now. Ugh. Just not a good start to the week.
I really shouldn't have come to town today. The roads were horrendous.
And now I have to shop for food again. Ugh ugh ugh, I live for weekends when I'm at my mother's place and don't have to shop. I really should help my mother out with the chores and all but I'm lazy.
Okay, I'm off to watch some sort of a film then take a painkiller and go to sleep. Oh and in the spirit of Monteith going to rehab I'm gonna lower my antidepressant dosage. Again. I can never quit.

What horrible news

Oh dear! Cory Monteith is in a rehab. What horrible news. Ugh, makes me think of my own situation. I so should be in hospital myself. I just don't wanna deal with my anxiety, so sick of it. Don't wanna waste any extra energy on it.
Yeah, I still cannot shop for food. I get major nausea and shaky legs when shopping. Ugghhhhhhhh....

Plus I found this song, soooo soothing:

edit: LOL, I stayed on my blog to listen to Sinead. Then went to kitchen. The old lady I'm living with asked me if I was listening to Ave Maria :D