Well shit...stuff is happening

Well shit...stuff is happening. For about a week my brother's been feeling nauseous at night. Mother bought him tranquillizers. He better not be developing an anxiety disorder now!

Yeah and I still haven't decided whether I'll go to my dad's place or not. I'm not that worried about cycling there but I'm afraid of having constant anxiety when I get there. I just hope I won't have to go to hospital again. We'll see.

I went to claim what is rightfully mine

Today I went to claim what is rightfully mine. I cycled out of town, along Tallinn motorway. It's the way to Tartu if you're coming from my dad's place. I so longed to experience it when I came to Tartu in 2011. Crappy thing was back then, I got tired before reaching the town and got anxiety and Lembit had to come pick me up in his car. Everything that happend after that is a blur cause I had massive anxiety. So it was nice to experience it today, on my own, calmly, on my bike.
Yeah and now I wanna go and visit my father's family. I'll have to go through Põltsamaa. I wanna stay there, somewhere overnight. Cause I'm an unfit fuck and can't cycle the whole thing. Yeah, will see how it goes.

checking out my boobs

So Lembit is always telling me how I have no tits and just how small they are. And then when I wear a tank top he's like checking out my boobs. Like what the fuck!? Why look at them when there's nothing there, as you say!?
Yeah and I hoped my pension had lodged into my bank account today but nah. I was already dreaming of how I go to maccy d's and buy a quarter pounder. Damn. Well, it's the fifth tomorrow so...that's the official pension day, will get my burger then.

What a waste!

Whoa! Just got back from the shop. Man, what anxiety I got. Haven't experienced such a strong feeling (mental and physical) in a looooooong time. I went to the shop cause I was craving crisps and chocolate. Now I feel so shitty I can't eat. What a waste!
Oh and yesterday I mowed the lawn for the first time this year. I volunteered. Was quite nice.

Fortunately it's not hurtful but unfortunately it's not motivational either

OMG, I'm reminded daily of how fat I am. Fortunately it's not hurtful but unfortunately it's not motivational either. I dunno why but I feel great in my body. I know I'm not a looker but I'm at peace with myself. Looks wise. If I really had to pick on something then sure I'd find plenty of things to complain about but... nah. Other than looks, the things I don't like about myself are my health, voice and handwriting. Oh and my laziness.
Yeah what got me writing though are the pics on this sexy dating website. Like, every woman who has bigger boobs, like... above B cup, their boobs are droopy. Now I'm not the one to judge depending on my looks but it really makes me happy about my own. My tits will never be droopy cause I just don't have anything there to be hanging. So the meaning of this whole post is, I'm happy with my little tits.