I'm panicking

I forced myself to go out today. Wasn't gonna go but talked to mum on the phone and she said it was nice out. So I went. Didn't feel as comfortable in the shop today, maybe cause I went there around five o'clock when all the people finish work and go to shops before going home. But I spent about two hours on the town. Feeding birds and chilling at the park.
Yeah I don't know how people meet people organically cause not one man looked at me today. I know I'm not a looker but still!
Yeah and I'm panicking cause I'm afraid I won't have enough money for the week, have about 30 euros left. And then I'm worried I won't have enough GBs left, have about 20 left. I know it's enough but I still worry cause I've been spending money like crazy and watched a shitload of vids on the net.

little knots in my stomach and little shaky legs

Okay, what the hell is going on!? So now all of a sudden I can go to grocery shops? Anxiety free? I'm not complaining though. Just got in from a shopping trip. Had to buy stuff for Ilme. I mean I still get little knots in my stomach and little shaky legs but I manage to pull it off. Yay!
I'm not saying I've conquered this beast but for the last few days I've managed to get by with it.

I'm just greatful

Wow, I nearly went to the cinema today. Was gonna see Inside Out but I was too late for it. Since I got to town my anxiety has been very lowkey. Not meaning to jinx it but I'm just greatful for the last few days. :)

If I can't have the best I'm going for the second best

Omg, I'm going after a 19 year old. I kinda turned him down before... can't remember why. But because of Michael Clifford he's in the works again. My dude is only 6 days younger than Clifford so it's basically the same :D If I can't have the best I'm going for the second best.

I'm a big girl, I can take it without the filters

Ugh I need a new TV show to watch. I really wanna see That 70s Show and Home Improvement again but I've seen both of them a bajillion times. So I'm forcing myself to watch Sabrina, The Teenage Witch. It's okay I guess but... too filtered. I'm a big girl, I can take it without the filters.

On other news... Ilme quit smoking a couple of days ago. There's something wrong with her arteries, has to get them replaced, and she decided to quit it. Yay! I hope she stays off them. She can't really walk or stand at the moment so now I'm the one who has to go to shops and buy shit. Ohh, I hope my anxiety won't butt in.

TE2172015