Perfect!

Yeah okay... I cannot live a normal life cause of my anxiety. I cannot do simple things like eating, going to the grocery store, walking down the street alone, going to a friend's house etc. I cannot get a job. And now it looks like I cannot get a man. Perfect!

What an ordeal!

Oh my god. What an ordeal! I thought my date with "Aleks" was going to be cancelled cause I felt sooooooooooooo sick. I literally thought I was gonna toss my cookies. The anxiety was unbareable. I took a maximum dose of Valium, 30 drops, 15mg of Mirtazapin (which I'm actually off of), 1 pill of Cerucal and two other pills for nausea. And I still felt nauseous and shaky. And drowsy from all the pills.
But! We made it. Watched Frozen. He seemed really nice. Wouldn't mind developing things between us. Dunno what he thinks though.

Why the cameras and audience!?

What a weird dream I had! At one point I lived in a desert and was making out with Dave Franco. Then we went to some sort of an event and there were cameras everywhere. Oh and I performed at the show, with sand art.
Then I was back in my old school. We had a pedophile teacher who got us naked and take the ice bucket challenge. We did it outside and the whole football field was full of audience. (WTF? Why the cameras and audience!?)

Other than that, I'm supposed to be meeting up with the lad I'm supposed to get into a relationship with. Gahhh, I'm so so so nervous.

They have been really horrible

So... I don't know why I like twenties so much. They have been really horrible to me. As well as my teens and pre-teens. Maybe thirties will be good to me. But fuck, I will be 29 in two months!

Think I conquered it this time

Fuck the rich! I wanna have a nice house too.

Just went for a cycle outside of town. Near Lõuna-Keskus. Damn those rich bitches have nice houses. Yeah and all the while when I was looking at the houses I was fighting back my anxiety. Think I conquered it this time. Still managed to go outside of town and back without Valium. Point is, I can't even ride my bike without anxiety so any kind of career (= money for a bitchin' house) is out of the question.