bossy and annoying

I wanna move so bad! Ugh I cannot stant living with Ilme anymore. She's so bossy and annoying. I've had enough.

cause... anxiety

Ahh, what a great day!
Mum rang me non stop in the morning when I was still sleeping cause her ATM card was on me. So I finally answered the phone and we said to meet up. We did, outside my house. Went to the grocery store with her and Lauri. Got some yummy stuff. Well, just food. Then we talked about eating at my place but I said my room was a mess so they decided to go into town.
I went home.
As soon as I got in, I thought of going back out. My backpack package had arrived at this new shopping center so I thought I'd look for the post office in it with mum cause... anxiety.
So I rode my bike up to them. Went to pick up my bag. It's super cute. Haven't checked if my laptop fits into it yet.
Then, I hadn't eaten breakfast and mum and brother were hungry, they went to look for a place to eat. I just tagged along cause I can't eat outside anyway cause... anxiety.
Anyway, we found this crappy fast food place, no one was too thrilled except my brother a little cause he wanted french fries and he got them but didn't finish them. And then! I fucking went and ordered food for myself aswell. AND I FUCKING ATE OUTSIDE OF HOME!!! I haven't done this shit in YEARS! I didn't feel too much anxiety. I mean I was aware of the food going down my oesophagus and I made note of everything in my stomach but still. I did it and I didn't feel like up chucking at all. Mum said I'm almost like a normal person.
Then Lauri went to see some girl who lives in Tartu. Some Russian chick.
Me and mum went shopping. I got two dresses for 3 euros. It was 1.50-an-item day in Humana.
And then we went to the open market. I got cherries.
Then I got home.
Work went super well aswell.

The only downer is... since I'm fat and all and the weather is super hot and humid my thighs rub up against each other and it's all red and sore. How do the fatties live in the summer. I must get my tihgh gap back for next summer. I don't want this uncomfortability next year.
But yeah...a good day!

I'll just disappear one day all of a sudden

Omg, yesterday was such a cute day. Came to mum's place. Mum and Lembit rode their bikes to meet me half way. Super cute. I didn't even reckognise them first cause I wasn't expecting it.
I'm sort of looking for a new place cause I gotta have men over. And I'm tired of doing shit for Ilme and have her boss and control me. I'm not even gonna warn her, I'll just disappear one day all of a sudden.

baby steps

someone to love and care for

Okay, since I'm a choosy ass bitch and can't find a boyfriend I decided to get a pet. I want a hamster or a guinea pig. Will try to ring up some places tomorrow for prices. I just need someone to love and care for.