crunch

Ugh. The last weekends have been so bad. And the work days aswell. But especially weekends. Last night was terrible.
I went to beed around 9am. And wouldn't fall asleep till about 12pm. And then got up around 4pm. My sleeping is so fucked, fuck! I dunno what to do. I definitely don't want to start taking Mirtazapiin again though.

Oh and Ilme went into her crazy bitch mode again the other day. We use paper towels in the kitchen. When I'm done drying my stuff I don't throw out the paper, I straighten/unfold it and let it dry to use it again some other time. Ilme crunches them up which makes it impossible to use them again. And the other day she told me to use one of her crunched up towels. And I said I don't want to use them (I have told her before not to crunch them). And she was like, "but they're yours, you crucnhed them!" Like, fuck no! I most certainly do not crunch them. I'm all for recycling the paper towels, that's why I straighten them and then lay them spread after using them. Ilme has forever crunched them and now she's trying to say I do it. Fuck that bitch, seriously.
Anyway, the consesus was, i stopped using paper towels. And that she will buy her own paper towels from now on. I'd like to see her try and tell me to go and buy them for her. You use them, you buy them! I dunno she's always like, "go buy paper towels/toilet paper! They're too big/heavy for me." Um, how in the world are they smaller/lighter in my arms? Anyway, I don't use the towels anymore so... I will not buy them anymore.

Think I have it

Ok, I just came across this thing called misphonia. Think I have it. I feel such strong rage and disgust when Ilme is eating and I can hear her dentures clicking. Fuuuuuucccckk!!! It's the grossest thing ever! I hate it so much! I have to leave the kitchen when she's eating cause I cannot stand the noise. I keep shaking my head when I'm in the kitchen with her, like washing the dishes or something and can't escape straight away, to quieten the noise in my ears and distract my body from reacting to it more violently (not towards Ilme, I'd like to point out). Ughhhh, I just feel so repulsed right now, even just thinking about it.

Bieber and Obama

So there was this odd day last week when I was crushing on Bieber and Obama. Wtf!?

on purpose

Ugh. Rant.
Ilme just drove me insane. She has accused me of ruining forks ever since I moved in. For some reason she thinks I'm opening jars with them and bend them. Yeah, I've never not once in my life opened a jar with a fork. She tells me she doesn't believe me and that I'm lying to her. Fuck you, seriously. Now I wanna bend all the forks on purpose just to piss her off.

temporary

Ok, my mum either has dementia or someone is using her FB. Her account keeps sending me messages she doesn't know about. Just changed her password for her cause she wants to delete her account. Can't blame her.

Yeah and my withdrawal symptoms are in full swing. Can't sleep, still clenching my jaw, chewing my cuticles til it hurts and bleeds and have no appetite. Weight is going down though. Tbh, think I'd rather be a bit fuller and not have these symptoms but here's to hoping they're temporary.