We good? Okay.

Ah, just noticed I haven't blogged in a week! How!? lol
Well, don't wanna jinx it but I'm doing a lot better health wise. No effing jinx, okay body!? We good? Okay.
I got prescribed even smaller dosage of Olanzapine. Right now I'm taking a quarter of 10mg every other day. Will buy the 5mg one and take a quarter of that every four? days.
Like this.
2,5mg
no pill
1,25mg
no pill
And then 2,5 again and so on
I just slowly tapering.

Yeah and my disability money business should be sorted. Get good money from there.

But my job stuff is still uncertain. Dunno if the car shop and the cleaning company can compromise. Should find out this week. If I understood correctly if the car shop doesn't accept our offer then this should be my last week at work. Or maybe a little longer then so they can find a new cleaning company.
If they don't accept the cleaning company's offer and call off the contract I wanna stay in the car shop. And not with the cleaning company. Like, the people at the cleaning company are super nice to me but I gotta think of my anxiety and money.
It would be healthier for me to stay there. I'm just thinking of asking them what new cleaning company they're going for, the car shop, then contact the new company and tell them I already work at the shop and would like to keep cleaning there and if it would be okay to switch cleaning companies and work for them. Hopefully it will be as easy.
But maybe the car shop accepts the offer and all is good. I just hope they won't make me work on saturdays cause I'd like to go to mum's place in summer at the weekends.

Fun fact

I’m dying. Send dopamine antagonists!
Fun fact, olanzapine is a dopamine antagonist, the medication I'm supposed to go off of right now.
Fun fact number 2, trying to go off of that pill makes me feel sick in general and also nauseated. I treat my nausea with Cerucal. Which is also a dopamine antagonist. Great! I can't even treat my nausea cause them medications are basically the same thing. I'll just keep eating my ginger-oak bark-blueberry pills then.
Been feeling super sleepy and poorly since before 1am. And as always I can't go to sleep like this cause I know I'll wake up feeling even sicker.
Will try to watch a film I guess.

Still

Still don't know how work things are but learned today that my work crush was broken up with by his girlfriend. I didn't get overly happy. I just asked my source if he was sad. And then I remembered I still very much look like a potato so I still have no chance with him lol

love tweet

Another love tweet and reply.

On another note. I haven't really felt like myself lately. I was a little sick about a week ago or so and yeah... my appetite is now gone and messed up. Think it might be the Olanzapine dosage decrease. I just feel weird.
Also, I still hope I get to keep my job.
Oh and I learned today my psychologist is going on a maternity leave this year. Dunno how long for. Talked a little about being pregnant. She gave me a little hope. Like, she told me that emetophobia is no reason to not fall pregnant, that this fear can be overcome. She said there's special pills for pregnancy nausea. Ahhh, just have to find a nice man first.

debts or state budgets

One more thing for today... I don't understand how countries have debts or state budgets. Like, who's in control of all the money in the world? Can't the governments of countries just make more money when they need it?