7th of July 2017

Okay so. I moved. 7th of July 2017.
Everything went well. The moving of my things went fast and well.
I got unpacked in about an hour or so.
Fam was over after the move, had cake which I bought at 50% discount cause it was a day expired.
Then the landlord came over and installed a new lock on my door.
Thta doesn't work properly though. Like when the door is open I can lock it and get the key out. When the door is closed and I lock it I can't get the key out. Ugh. Maybe I'm just stupid.
Oh and mum brought a lamp for me. Yeah it has the weird cord end thingy that doesn't fit any of the outlets in my room. Ugh. So right now I have the ceiling light on.
Ah, and I didn't know how to run the shower so I had a bath. Was super nice. I hope nothing will go wrong here. I really get a positive feeling off this place.

Tomorrow I'll go back to Ilme's place and clean up my room a bit. It's mostly done, just a little something something.
And if I can be bothered then I'll go to the cemetery to clean up the grandparents' grave.

sad

So I'm still sad about my cactus.
This made me little happier today though:

Probably broken english but yeah he noticed me. Again! And the sad thing is, I do not live in Ireland anymore and I can't see him perform.
What a sucky day it is today.

felt so bad and upset

So I was just taking a nap with the window open. Was woken by two people arguing outside. My heart started pounding super fast and I felt so upset lol I had to get up. I didn't catch the whole argument but I think there was a guy in a car and a woman on a bike with her kid somewhere and they were trying to cross the road and the man in the car told her to get off the bike or something. I dunno, I felt so bad and upset.

Doesn't go unnoticed

Okay, saw I'm taking Olanzapine every 4 days now. My body's responding. Doesn't go unnoticed. Unfortunately. So far it's not unbearable. I'm just clenching my jaw again. Started a couple of days ago. Hopefully nothing else/worse will show.
Yeah, still at my old place. Probably will be moving on Friday.

such an ignorant fucking cunt

Shit, I feel even worse now. I googled about my cactus. To help it. And I came across this:

The bigger cactus I have had this little dark fluffy thing on it and I picked it off!!!!!! Cause I thought it was a dead baby. Shit! I'm a such an ignorant fucking cunt!!!! Fuck!!!!! It was gonna be a fucking flower!!!!!! Shit I hate how fucking stupid I am!!! My poor cacti have to suffer cause of me. Makes me wanna cry. I just want the best for my babies and I keep screwing them up!!
I can literally feel physical pain in my chest from my stupidity and the hurt I've caused to my plants.
Fuck!
Like I'm in panic mode right now. I know my plants are not well, well the little one anyway, and I wanna do something eventhough I know (but what the fuck do I really know anyway!?) that the best thing to do right now, is just let them be.