apologise to everyone

Also, today I'm feeling a little positive again and would like to apologise to everyone I've ranted about on my blog. I'm sorry.
The last time I said something nice my health plummeted so now to be safe I'll take a bunch of pills. Laters! ;)

Hey there!

Oh dear, I'm so incredibly lazy and sleepy. Hopefully tomorrow I will get up in the morning for a class.
And it's so annoyingly cold out. Boo!
Oh and I have a new follower, Valeria. Hey there!

back to town

Today, I have to go back to town. Been at my mother's place for over a week. I'm sort of nervous and anxious. I hope I can shop normally, without anxiety.
Oh and yeah, it snowed for the first time a few days ago. The snow is still there, hasn't melted of yet.
I really don't wanna ride my bike in this cold and damp weather. :s

normally I'm quite closefisted

Been watching a lot of Glee song videos. Damn, the songs are good.
Shame about the show itself.
Just thought I'd mention it since normally I'm quite closefisted when it comes to complimenting the show.

Oh and I don't really agree with Glee stars being political. They're just actors and singers, nothing more. It would be okay if they advertised voting but choosing sides is wrong, eventhough I'm an Obama supporter too.

Dianaboo!

So I don't wanna jinx it but I've been feeling better, be it cause of omeprazole, the right medicine, being outside or my little trip to the town.
Plus, my mother's man's sister sent me some strawberry jam and we ate it today. It's magical!
I'm also starting to sort of work on my forum again. Wanna make it bigger and better. We need more members, active members. Unfortunately placing an official ad to some website costs waaaaayy too much money.
Yeah and I'm downloading photoshop again to make a new theme for my blog. Keeping the name though. Wanted to rename it to dianaboo but it's taken. Boo! Dianaboo!

Happiness to everyone!

Oh yay! Today, I bought omeprazole and I've been able to eat. Twice.
I hope I'll get better now.
I'm in such a good mood! :D
Happiness to everyone!

Why oh why!?

Yeah, looks like I'm back to my former cannot-eat-cause-of-anxiety self. Why oh why!?
I so enjoyed going to uni and all. And now I have this stupid condition again. Mother wants me to go to the doctor tomorrow but I really don't wanna go to town, back to my place there.
I'd give whatever not to feel so nauseous and sick. Blahhhhhhhh... why me? Why now!?

anxiety out of control again

Boy, am I in the mood for whining or what!?
I just keep feeling like shit. I just cannot bear the thought of it being anxiety out of control again. It's so hard. I keep taking Valium and it's not helping. I also keep having a little fever now and then so hopefully it's cause of that. Gahh, I wish I felt better already, wanna go to uni so bad.
I wanna eat normally and not have second thoughts about doing it.

Something is happening

Oh dear. Something is happening to my body. Don't know if it's just the anxiety or a virus but I feel sick and cannot eat. :(
I sooo hope tomorrow will be better cause I have my favourite lecture tomorrow.

send out all of my positivity and good health

*cry*
Waaahh, what happened to my good mood during the day. Have really bad anxiety. :(
Is this the result of sending out positive energy!? Did I send out all of my positivity and good health!?
Ughhh, I really hope tomorrow and next week will be better.

share it with the universe

Today is the day again I send out positive energy.
Although my eating isn't the best, I feel positive and want to share it with the universe.
I tidied up the kitchen and raked leaves. Hopefully the mother will be satisfied with the result and be pleased.
And I hope the next week will be better, health wise. I really want the anxiety to tone down a bit so I can be calm in classes and when in shop.

sky high

Think I'm a lil sick. Can't eat and anxiety is sky high. Hopefully it'll pass quickly. Won't go to uni today for a test. Resting at mother's place. Well... not resting. Have to go out to rake leaves. Blah, it's so cold and boring out.


Plus, I left my computer at my place. It's the first weekend since I got my laptop that I'm without it. Blub.

no sex til boyfriend pact

Okay, think I'm gonna break my no sex til boyfriend pact. Too hard :D

что я здесь вижу...Ой!

Just finished watching Friends. Blaaaaaahhh, why did Rachel and Ross end up together!!?? She's so not worthy! Majorly and utterly annoying character. Thank god I've seen all of the episodes and never have watch the show again!

Maybe there's a link there

Okay, if I ever do  PhD course in uni I will do a reasearch about the 35delG mutation in gene GJB2. That is supposed to affect hearing. I'm thinking... I used to listen to music a lot as a kid. Like with headphones and the volume was crancked up. I'm thinking it might have to do something with my anxiety. Mainly cause I feel nauseous most of the time and in public places, sometimes at home I feel like passing out. Maybe there's a link there.

leave all your work til the last minute

Blah, my brain is fried! It's not a good idea to leave all your work til the last minute. Filling in this table about different ways of councelling. Think I've posted about it before.
And there's a test on Wednesday which I haven't studied for yet nor do I know what to study for it. Plus there's a test on Friday which I haven't studied for either. Gahhh....

Primavera

Oh dear. Uni is hard. Learning about heart and blood circulation and shit. Think it'll be yet another test I will fail at. Like... we really dig into the subject and have to memorize all the smallest details.
We had to choose a subject for ourselves and unfortunately I didn't get a language. I got the basics of counselling. Have to read 21 pages about different ways of councelling and fill in some tables. The bad thing is, the texts are in English. Like, I don't mind English in general but this psychological stuff is hard as it is, in Estonian, so I don't see a reason why they'd make us read it in English.

Have had two backs of these today:

Phew...

Yes! I got 17 points out of 20 for my presentation.
My anxiety kicked in and I had to take a break in it but luckily people asked questions and I got to answer them from the parts I didn't get to in the first round.
Phew...glad it's over.

In class

In class. Next lecture I have to give my presentation. Scary.

fancied the thing

Woah! Had the best dream last night. Dreamed I was doing it with Kevin McHale in a toilet cubicle.
I've fancied the thing for about 5, 6 years and this is the only sexual dream I've had about him

Oh and tomorrow's the big day. Presentation day! I soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hope I won't get anxiety cause I really really wanna pull it off. The paper and slides came out so well, it would be sad for the presentation to fail.

TS07102012

I'd be super

Yesss! Just finished my paper on Sparta! Now if only I could do the presentation without failing I'd be super!


Oh and I've been watching Friends. Again. I'm on the ninth season I think. And I just...dislike Rachel. I think I dislike her more than I dislike the whole of Glee. God, I hope her and Ross won't end up together. He deserves someone so much better. Joey's a ...not a particulary nice either so he can be with her. I hope they end up together, the two freaks. Oh my god, did I just pull off mild bitching!?

Glee The Break Up review

What's up with Finn's dazed impression?

That Blaine's performance was rather awkward.

Blahhhh!!!!! The whole Rachel and Finn and the other guy's business reminds of Friends when Rachel and Ross were on a break and Ross slept with another woman. Why is Finn making such a big deal out of the thing when he broke up with Rachel!? Pissed me off majorly when watching Friends...not that bothered about it on Glee but it's stupid nevertheless. I don't like Don't Speak in this version.

What is this stupid song Santana's singing!?
Okay, that is seriously too many break ups for one episode.

WTF! How can people who don't go to a school be in it like nobody's business?

Oh that last song was so boring and depressing. Liked Brittany's bit though.

All in all, too much pointless drama and not enough of catchy songs.

Wow. At mother´s place and wow!

Wow. At mother´s place and wow!
The new bathroom looks gorgeous!Unfortunately I don´t have my camera with me.

she would smile and it would make me feel better

Dunno if I've mentioned it before but I might start going to church. There's some youth party thingy going on.
I don't like the drinking parties my other course mates attend so... Some girls off my course are going to the church parties so I might join them. And I just might change my mind about religious people, Christians.

The girl I had over the other day is super nice but she's really into religion. She is like... doubting and questioning everything.

Gahh...and I'm so nervous...anxious about the Sparta paper. Have to do a presentation infront of the whole course. I'm not scared of that but it'll be in a totally new place for me so I fear for my anxiety. Blah..blub.

And I still don't get it why people hate communism so much. I'm totally loving everything I'm learning about Sparta. I mean some dude kept transfering everybody to the next lot so nobody would have a better land or become richer than the others. Such a great plan.

Anyway, yeah I'm hoping I can do the presentation successfully without throwing up, feeling sick or faint. The relgious girl (Kati) said if I get nervous I can look to her and she would smile and it would make me feel better.

Sparta paper

Oh goddess, I've been so lazy this week. Didn't go in to lectures on Wednesday as well as today.
So I'm supposed to write this paper about Sparta... and I can't get literature for it! Gah, how am I supposed to do it then!? There's so little about Sparta on the Internet.
Yeah... I'm off to watch Friends and hopefully I'll get started on my Sparta paper.

Oh and yesterday I had my first guest over at my place. A girl from my course, we did this another paper together.