This old slut!? A virgin!?

So I went to the gynecologyst yesterday. She asked me questions about abortion and uterus and shit. Then she took a look at my hooha and asked me if I was a virgin. :D This old slut!? A virgin!? Told mum, she said men are lucky.

Phew, am I glad this day is almost over!

What an ordeal this day has been. I actually managed to sit through my therapy session today which lasted an hour and a half. I thought I was only gonna last 5 mins. Actually there was no therapy today, just gathering information to create a treatment plan for me.
Then what I thought would be easier than therapy but wasn't was the cervical cancer screening. Man, what anxiety! I even managed to make myself cry at the hospital to feel better. It helped. With the help of Valium of course. Phew, am I glad this day is almost over!

sleeping pattern

Wow, so it's 8:30 in the morning and I still haven't gone to sleep. I originally went at 5 but tossed and turn til eight til my stomach started rumbling. Yeah I'm finally seeing the world when it's light out. I really should reschedule my sleeping pattern.

there's no point

Damn my cold. I cannot taste anything. I saw the yummy dried fish in the little grocery shop I go to and didn't buy it cause there's no point if I can't taste it. So I guess it's actually pretty good, the cold, cause I didn't spend money.

don't feel like doing anything

Waah, I feel like shit! I don't feel like doing anything. I don't wanna watch films or sleep. Maybe I'll just read then.

nightmarish night

Oh my god, had such a nightmarish night. Had so much phlegm and was constantly swallowing the excess saliva and coughed non stop. I really hope my health won't get any worse.

English

I love Sam Smith!!! His voice is so amazing and he's just tremendously talented. Ed Sheeran's okay too.

TE16022015

normal better

Oh my god! I'm doing my own head in. Like, when I was younger I'd tell guys they couldn't be with me cause I was a virgin. I said I'd never sleep with them. Then I lost my virginity and things got better. A lot better, like normal better.
Now I tell guys I have an anxiety disorder and I can't do shit with them. I am so sick and tired of explaining what an anxiety disorder is. *eyeroll* I seriously hope there'll come a time in my life when I don't have to tell men about this stupid condition. Ughhh!

Maybe things will get better

Well, saw a doctor today. Well, a psychiatric nurse. I like her eventhough she gave me a few sheets about breathing exercises. *eyeroll*
She's kind enough to go for walks with me and she wants to ride the bus with me. And she suggested a good psychologist for me. Maybe things will get better.
Then I went to two grocery shops and the library. I said I would get Howl's Moving Castle the book and I did. In English. Yay!
I mean I did get little anxiety but it was nice to be outside.

TS10022015

gonna get through this week

Oh my god, I'm soooo craving for crisps or blue cheese or dried fish. But! I'm gonna get through this week without wasting any money on this crap.

dick cheese

Kanye West is dick cheese.

a hottie

Okay... Aksel wanted to warm up our situation and got in a bit of a tizzy fit when I didn't jump the gun. Like, he left me behind for some girl and I'm not gonna wait around.
Then Marko said he wanted a relationship with me. Like, the last time he said that he literally disappeared for a few months. He promised this time it wouldn't happen.
I dunno I'm not into them...although Marko's a hottie.

Take that Glee!

so sick of seeing

Oh my god! I'm so sick of seeing these stupid Jihadi or ISIS crap news! And all the other ones from the same area. Like, let the sick fucks do what they want in their country, don't even report about their stupidity. I don't even read the news, the headlines and pictures are enough. Ughhhhh...!

I swear this head of mine!

Bhahaahaa, I had a dream last night I was on a show like America's Next Top Model. I remember I looked like crap in photos but others liked it. Plus I had another type of premonition. I had a dream where I was watching a film with mum and it was really bloody and gory. And today she told me she got her period. :D
I swear this head of mine!

had a premonition

Oh wow, I had a premonition again. I had a dream that my father came down with Alzheimer's disease. Called him today and he said he fell ill. I hope it won't be anything as serious as Alzheimer's though.