Silver Goldsmith

Ahh, spent two weeks at my mother's. In town now. Applied for a dish washer position. Hope I don't chicken out when they actually call me back.
Oh and I had a picture of Hemmings open on my aptop and my mother saw it. She said he looked like my little brother's friend. That worries me. I hope it doesn't mean I'm attracted to the friend cause he's only 14 and is a very tiny boy. I randomly named a sim after him in my game,  but that was only cause I thought Silver Goldsmith sounds cool.
Anyway, have a psychologist appointment tomorrow. We'll be discussing my therapy plan. Argh, I hope I won't freak out.

still going strong

Well, my Hemmings obsession is still going strong. I hate it though... stalking his shit on Tumblr is a nightmare. You get these little girls posting their fanfics and fantasies. Ugh, so annoying. I know I say I wanna fuck people but like... I post it on my blog not spam the person's tag.

main squeeze

Huh, these past couple of days I've been into 5SOS. Especially Luke Hemmings. God, this kid is 18! What is happening to me? Plus he's blond and majorly tall. Franco is still my main squeeze though.

Had me thinking

Phew, think I'm getting my period. A week later. Had me thinking I was pregnant, not sure how though. Okay...and when will I get a bf? I don't wanna "fuck like a slut" anymore as my mother put it.

TS1932015

Ass

Well...on his profile he says how much he likes buttsex. Gross human being!

Soap

He really knows how to get a girl wet! It's so banal, it's not even funny. What the hell are men thinking when they send out messages like that?

Not there

Ugh, I sooooooooooooooo crave McDonald's at the moment. Just browsed their menu to see prices. Not there. I really like McChicken Sandwhich but it's too expensive. I'll go for a double cheeseburger next time. Yummm!!! If I was in town at the moment I'd go to the restaurant straight away!

Everything's normal and fine

Well, I received the cervical cancer test results. Everything's normal and fine. Yay! And tomorrow's my James Franco anniversary day. Been into him exactly one year. Ahh..what a sexy year it has been.

weirdly calm

Ahh! I'm so excited about going to Melliste tomorrow! :D
Haven't been there for about a week.
Yeah and I have this weird pain in the back of my mouth/throat. Dunno if it's a toothache or a sore throat. I hope it's the throat.
And yesterday was great. Went to see the psychiatry nurse. Weirdly I don't get that bad anxiety when 'm with her. I mean I take Valium but still, I'm weirdly calm.
 And I went to two grocery stores and stood in the line.

I feel the need to show my affection

I just love That 70s Show!!!! I just wanna hug and kiss the show for making me feel so good and warm and entertained.
Yeah, I've been without a guy for two months now and it's showing. I feel the need to show my affection. I even started hugging my family and they think it's weird.
Yeah and I think I've set the boyfriend bar waaaaayy too high cause whenever someone has one "flaw" I immediately lose interest. Ugh!

stop using online dating websites

Oh I swear I wanna stop using online dating websites. The men on those websites are just stupid. Like I have it in clear Estonian on my profile that I like short skinny men and I get guys bragging to me how tall and sporty they are, which is actually fat. I'm like bitch you're barking up the wrong tree here!
Then the other selling point for them is "free sex". They go around offering free sex to women. Now I don't know if they're naturally idiots or if they're dumbed by their blinding horniness but the supply and demand business is totally off to be offering free sex to women. Like...for every demand there are hundred offers. Yeah...back to business school with ya!
And then they sell themselves by saying how they like sex and are up to anything. Yeah... every single guy on those dating websites are as horny as you are. I know your horniness is happening to you and it seems to worst to you but as a woman.... every guy is just disgustingly horny on the website and your horniness isn't a woman's problem or lure.

I mean.... the universe is telling me something, obviously

I know I complained about Estonian TV ages ago. But! It has improved. I've seen Tristan and Isolde on on three occasions, Eat Pray Love was on not so long ago and then Knocked Up and tonight Flyboys was on. I mean.... the universe is telling me something, obviously.

I didn't watch any of them though. I just can't... I get so irritated and bored when I watch the telly. I can only watch films on my laptop.

Besides all that glorious Franco galore I feel so sick. Dunno, what is wrong... ugh. Oh and when I went to the hospital the other day with mum, I cried. I hadn't cried in about two years. It wasn't proper cry cry, just a tear from each eye.