Fuck!

Ugh. Why are men like this? Like, I get it, you like sex. A lot. But just because you like it doesn't mean you're good at it. And I hate it that men think they're responsible for women's orgasms. No you're fucking not!!! You do not control my body. I control my body! If my body feels like cumming, it'll cum. If not, then no. You, a man, can do absolutely nothing to my body! No matter how much you like sex or how good you think you are.
Yeah and just because you saw it in porn or have fantasies about certain sexual act doesn't mean you're capable of doing this shit to real women.
Plus, the free thing really pisses me off. Like, wow, a man is willing to give me free sex!!! Like it's so hard to find for a woman. Again, just because you like free sex doesn't mean women are gonna run for it.
Fuck!

fire day

Ugh, if the weather is normal tomorrow it'll be fire day. Fire day as in we're gonna make fire in the woods and burn twigs. I just hate it so much. Mostly cause I, for some reason, always get anxiety during it.

Yeah and all the snow has thawed and I hope february will be a snowless month and that we're done with winter for this season. Okay, that didn't make sense. For this time*

Yeah and I've been off Mirtazapine for a couple of months now. Haven't felt worse so that's good. Also been on a smaller doze of Olansapine and I think I can feel that. I'll try to keep it smaller for a while though. If it gets worse I'll take higher doze again. Oh and I've lost weight 3, 4 kilos. Yay! At my mum's I weigh about 75 kg (the scale in town shows less).

Yeah and I have some laptop problems. I hope system recovery/restore will fix it. Think I have to do a massive movie marathon to get all my films watched before I lose them.

I'd eat the shit out of them

So I had to fry meat for the family today. Plus mum made a cauliflower and potato dish. I'm not hungry but knowing these things are downstairs waiting to be eaten is killing me! I wanna go down and eat them. Too bad it's almost 12:30 am. If I was in town I'd eat the shit out of them but can't do that here cause Id get a bollocking from mum.

Need a quick Spanish crash course

Damn, it's my last weekday at mum's and I've got hooked on this soap, La Gata. I don't have a TV in town but Ilme does but she watches another soap at the same time. And the reruns of La Gata are at 8 in the morning and I can't do that.
I'm currently in my own room and brother's TV is playing the soap and I'm trying so hard not to get interested. I found a place for the show on internet but it's all in Spanish. Need a quick Spanish crash course.

Plus, this guy in Tartu is still interested in seeing me. So yay!

*jams to Lost In Reality*

What a crappy day on the internet. One of my fave blogs on Tumblr blocked me again. And just as I need to update my sims blog, Photobucket is down for maintenance.

*jams to Lost In Reality by 5sos*

La la la

*in Babe's voice*: La la la

Shit this thing is stuck in my head!

full blown winter

So it's full blown winter out. Ugh! I cannot ride my bike in this snow and cold! Okay, it's not that cold anymore but it's fucking snowy.
Yesterday was a good day though. Went to the shop with Nupi again. Looks like dogs are good for some things.

Man, I like it!

Went to the dentist again. Man, I like it! It feels so good to know some part of your body is being fixed. I can't go again though cause I don't have the money. I have two tiny cavities and one big one. Ahh, I really need to find a job cause I wanna go to the dentist again. And buy a new laptop, although it'll be so difficult to say goodbye to my current/old one.

no fucking idea what was wrong with me

Oh god. Last night was horrible. I kept waking up with this weird over-sensitivity sensation in my head and skin. I had no fucking idea what was wrong with me. I took Valium cause I didn't know what else to take. I had no fever eventhough it felt like it. Then during the day I was mostly in bed, sleeping. In the evening I took a painkiller and it made me feel a little better. Now it's time to take an antipsychotic pill. I thought it was the thing that made me feel all weird. I dunno... we'll see after I take it if it makes me feel bad again.

*shivers*

So we've had snow and cold for about a week now. Shit, I hate it! I'm still at my mum's. And I have to make fire every day to keep warm. *shivers*
Yeah and yesterday I went to the dentist. Got one tooth pulled out. I got a bit of anxiety, not because I'm scared of the dentist but cause I have the anxiety disorder.
Alright so... I'm off to add some firewood...

fat face

Okay, I wanna cut my hair short. Why do I have such a fat face? A short haircut just wouldn't look good on me right now. Plus I wouldn't be able to sit in the hairdressers' chair cause of my anxiety. And I don't have the money either. lol
Good thing I guess is I've lost a few kilos.

TS06012016

Bring on the floods already!

PMS is so annoying! Bring on the floods already!

December 31st

Shit. December 31st was the best day! First, I went to the shop at my mother's place. All by myself. Well, I took our dog Nupi with me and she helped me so much. I couldn't have done it without her cause my attention was focused on her wellbeing what with walking along the motorway and calming her and leaving her outside the shop and worrying how she would react. When I got out of the shop she sat so cutely there, waiting. Super!
Then we had a lovely celebratory dinner with the fam, even my brother made an appearance (cause the mother told him to, but still). Yeah and then Lembit's friend came over and we had his and Lembit's fireworks and everything. Was nice. I'm entirely happy with the day.

I hope 2016 continues with my improving health.