This is how I was

So out of the three appartments I was supposed to see yesterday I only saw one. And one small room should maybe open up in that and it all looked great, especially the outside, but the thing is on the sixth floor and there's apparently no basement or a place to keep my bike except the SIXTH FLOOR! Yeah there's an elevator but I can't fit my bike in there and there's no way I'll be bringing it up and down there.
And then I called another place that I found in an ad that was a copied one, meaning not posted by the landlord himself. It's not ready yet but I wanna go see it sometime when he's ready.

Yeah and then the dentist. I was in tears. But managed to sit through the whole situation. Cause there was no root canal. The dentist said she wasn't sure if the procedure would even work cause my tooth looks really bad. And I was like, okay let's pull it out then. Had to make an appointment with a...surgeon I guess. She was just the root canal-er. Anyway, we did fix another tooth of mine while I was already there. I was shitting myself but come on, I didn't wanna waste her time and I had already worked myself up all fucking week so... Afterwards my therapist who was with me and the dentist asked how I am...

Yeah I was pinching my arm with my nails the whole time. This is how I was. But I felt fine enough.

Yeah and then mum came over last night, finally watched Moana with her.
And today I went to her workplace and fucked up majorly. There were a lot of customers and she was busy with them. The receipt machine was about to run out of paper so she told me to change it. I have never fucking done it at her workplace so... she opened the machine quickly and I put in a new roll. Then the next customer didn't get a receipt. Well the paper came out but there was nothing on it. So mum thought it transaction didn't go through, so they did it again. Still no normal receipt. They did it again. And then it turned out I had put in the roll of paper the wrong way and it only prints to one side of the paper. So the customer was charged three times and it was such fucking hell. Fuck! How the fuck am I supposed to know what way the fucking thing goes in!? She didn't give out to me but she was super stressed out. Ugh. I'm never touching anything there again!

Yeah and I received my hoodie today that we had bought online. The sleeves were too short. And the material wasn't suitable for me. So I still have to find a good new hoodie for myself.

Oh and what the fuck is this?

These are bruises on my leg. I have never even hit my leg and they're like...there's so many of them. How? Is it cause I'm taking my iron pills or...? I was horrified when I saw my leg. I have more random bruises but nothing like this. Never hit my leg, they don't hurt, just weird.

Oh and a while ago I received my phone case!

It's so pretty! I wish it was more rosegold though not just pink.

too much for me

Oh my goodness. So much is happening. Dunno how I'll survive this friday.
Have the dentist, well technically today. Root canal. I am shitting myself cause the last time at the dentist I got the worst anxiety. I have never in my life been scared of the dentist. Ever! And I'm still not now but the thought of being stuck in a situation for an hour is... too much for me.
I have been waiting for it for three months and the fucker of a day is here.

In the morning though I will go look at three new apartments cause I've had enough of Ilme. Well she wanted me to do the water, as in write down and calculate the water digits and shit for the water bill. She told me that several times but I was busy on the internet. And then right before going to work, I started getting ready a few minutes early to do the damn water. And this bitch comes into my room all huffy and puffy and says "How many times do I have to call you to do the water? If we can't work this thing out I'll find someone else to help me". Like someone else to live here. And I said I'll do it when I have time and not when she wants me to. And if she is such a hurry she can do it herself. And then she was like "Oh so you don't use the water?". Bitch, I know you shower once a week but you fucking live in the kitchen so you use the water aswell and I've been doing the water for fucking years for you. Anyway, I told her it's not even my duty to do it, cause I'm just a tennant, she's the landlady, she needs to take care of it herself. And then she was like "is it really that hard for you to do it?" And I said "is it hard for you?" And then she said "I am an old person". And I said if you need help with your duties get a fucking social worker, I'm not one, I don't have to do it. And I also said she will never get anyone as conciliatory as me. Like does that bitch really think someone will move in to "help", really meaning do everything for, a random old person cause "they're old" out of their own free time!? Nobody will fucking move in anywhere where they have to take care of some randomer!! Especially when they have to pay for it themselves!!
And she was like "I've helped you" and I was like "Haven't I?"
I've taken out her shit for years, I've done the water for years, I've gone to the shop for her (like she used to for me for a short period) and pharmacies in town to get her medicine, I've rund around like a shithead for her magazine business with her friends (given her friends her magazines and newspapers and brought back stuff from them), I've gone to the cellar for her, several several times.
And she never asks. She thniks it's obvious that I do these things and when I don't or don't do them right the second she wants it done she gets so arrogant and demanding. Like, seriously bitch, I don't have to do this shit! You're just a landlady to me.
Also she espects me to drop everything for her but the second I bring a man over or, OH MY GOD!, have sex with him she has the fucking audacity to come and talk shit to my face about it!?!! Like, she flat out gave me a bollocking for having dudes over and forbid me to have sex. Shut the fuck up bitch!!!!!!
 I am soooooo looking for a new  place. I can't deal with this anymore. I feel like I'm healthy enough for a new relationship and it's never gonna happen if I stay in this shitty nunnery. Fuck, she's such a tyrant! I'm saying, she will never ever get anyone new here. No one will do shit like that for her like I have done. And no one will live here if they can't have a personal life. Luckily for the cunt I'm a natural hermit so I like being mostly alone. Like, she says "understand me, I'm an old person, I need help with stuff", well cunt understand this: I'm a young person who likes to have a personal life and sex.
Fuck! I hope I'll see something good tomorrow. Fuck, I don't need this stress right now along with the tooth stuff. Ughh! At least my new therapist will be coming with me. Maybe it'll help.

Plus I still have a ton to update on from three weeks ago. Been to mum's house twice this year. Three weeks ago and last weekend. I brought my cute baby cactus to town aswell and replanted it. Pics to come.

cigarettes

Damn, this last weekend I bought my 17 year old brother cigarettes. I should have stuck to my guns and never bought them for him. It's illegal yeah but it's also super bad for health.
And mum just called and said she talked to the police. He got caught smoking at school. Dumbass. Mum has talways told him not to smoke at school.
Oh yeah and mum got all sassy with the police and told them to find the damn person who gives the young cigarettes and fine them. And when she hung up she remembered she had bought that packet for him. lol

Scaring the grays away

So, on sunday, this happened...

Scaring the grays away.
And this is the result:

Natural, like I wanted it. At least no gray can be seen. And I like it a little shorter :)

Also our garden got a makerover after years:

Normally we've always had the whole patch full of harvestables. Or like onions mostly. Maybe some peas and beans and strawberries. Anyway, this year we dug it up and planted grass on it. Second pic is of grass seeds. We got these cut outs of underground tubes, just like big cylinders and rolled them on the patch to...get the seeds to stick I guess. We didn't water, we hoped for rain that night. Didn't rain. Mum said the morning dew is enough. Hm...?

And the rapeseed is almost in full bloom. The dandelion yellow is cuter. More yellow and warmer.

Biology

Okay, I'll try to get into uni this year again :D
I'm fucking crazy. Maybe it'll all work out this time.
Biology.