BFM and Core guy vol.2

Okay. Shit happened.
First, I have no fucking clue what the fuck is going on with my period. I've been just spotting since tuesday. I don't spot, I full on bleed. And I've been spotting for 4 days now. Not normal for me. I hope I didn't fall pregnant on sunday when the condom came off. That would suck cause BFM is not interested in me. Unfortunately.

Yeah we had a lovely evening last night. Lovey-dovey. And we talked today morning before he went to work and he just wants to be friends who fuck. Okay, that is not friendship. And he just admitted, he's not over his ex, he's lonely and horney. So, technically I'm a rebound.
I have a choice not to see him again but I probably will. Cause I want company and lovey dovey sex aswell, just not to "fill the gap" of some sort but to have a life partner who to make life plans with. Fuck it, it'll be temporary then. He's too fucking nice to let go though. What the hell was his ex thinking breaking up with him!? Bitch, you have this amazing guy after you and you let him go!? I would fucking marry the guy today!
I dunno how his sex idea would work though cause he literally can't perform properly with me cause he has his ex in his mind while we're at it.

Oh and I cancelled the Core Guy for him on sunday. Luckily I could reschedule it with him again. So that's good :)

Right now,, I don't care so much about guys as my periods though. Fuck! I hope I start bleeding normally. With cramps and shitty wellbeing and all.

Yeah and dunno if I mentioned it but I had the odd cleaning job yesterday. Was fine, they were happy with my cleaning. And I'll be leaving for a job interview today soon. Another cleaning company.

he trusts me

Okay, the crappiness was PMS. So my health should be fine.
So the BFM told me on monday he didn't wanna meet everyday cause then we'll run out of things to talk about. I texted him saying we could meet up for like 5 mins or something just to kiss and cuddle and I hope he's as into me as I am into him. He ignored that so I thought it was his way of saying he's not interested.
Left him alone on tuesday and didn't hear from him. I was sure we were done. I was like sad, mad and disappointed and shit and then indifferent. But also, I started my periods yesterday/today.
Yeah I thought all hope was gone and he was just after sex.
And then fucking tonight! He messaged me on the dating website we met at inviting me to spend the night at his place tomorrow, worrying he was too forward. Bitch, I love it! :D I told him though that I was on my period, that maybe he didn't wanna meet up then. He said he still wants to!
So we talked and I'm gonna go over straight after work. I told him I'd look and feel manky and he said we've seen each other naked and shit so I shouldn't be embarrassed and stuff. :D I'll try to put on some mascara before work at least.
Ugh, I hope I won't get anxiety at his place and that we'll have a nice evening. Oh and he has to get up at like 6am and he said he'll give me his key and I can sleep in. :D Aw, he trusts me!

Also since the BFM showed clear interest I wanna cancel the Core guy on saturday. I feel like I'm cheating already.

BFM and Core guy

So yeah I went to the gyno on friday.
No diagnosis or anything yet. My uterla lining was too thick to see it properly. Have to go in on the 25th, hopefully with my periods behind me by that time. You know cause the uterus sheds the lining during period and then they'll see it better. Nothing looked wrong though as much as she could see. She said she couldn't see any cysts. She did take swab tests which results I will receive on the 4th of september! If I have some sort of an inflammation then I just have to suffer til then.
I've been feeling really crappy the past few days. Hvae some weird pains in my lower abdomen. I dunno if it's my uterus or intestines. The spotting has luckily stopped.
I feel so icky today, couldn't sleep at night cause my stomach felt so bad. Like crazy hunger pains. Even now when I've already eaten. Maybe it's the next stage of olanzapine withdrawal. Who the fuck knows! Maybe it's pms.
Well, as far as dudes go... the BFM (boyfriend material) hasn't contacted me yet. He's at work so... hopefully he will himself in the evening. I want him to initiate shit and show interest.
But another guy who I met up with a couple of weeks ago or so wants to meet up next weekend. We should be watching The Core. If the BFM makes it very obvious during the week he's very into me, I'll cancel the Core guy.

Back to the days of regular pregnancy tests I guess

Yay! This bitch got laid. For the first time in years. Um, in 2014 I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't sleep outside of a relationship and I have been keeping it. Til now, sort of. I'm not in a relationship but the guy is not a one night stander.
And he was so nice I just wanted to do it with him. Also, I was scared he'd find someone else to talk to and I wouldn't even get the chance. Kinda like... keeping the guy interested with sex. Lame and insecure I know but he is a nice man and you don't come acorss those that often. So I panicked and wanted to get close to him and thought if I waited to get close to him emotionally first he might lose the interest. I dunno, I'm desperate okay! :D I've been single for like 7 or 8 years and I wanna be done with it! I want a man!
The shitty thing is, the fucking condom came off. And it stayed inside of me!!!! I thought I was gonna have to go to the doctor to get it out but luckily he did it.
Fuck, I just hope I won't fall pregnant cause we were going at it before I realized it had come off. Ugh. Back to the days of regular pregnancy tests I guess.
And then we like cuddled and shit. Was nice. Would like to keep doing it. I wanna like cuddle and watch a film together. Waah!I hope he's interested and attracted enough :(
I dunno if he is though cause he doesn't text me much or talk to me much on the interent, although we do chat quite a bit when we're together in person. Okay I can't talk that much about him on my blog cause he said he doesn't have FB and some other social media sites cause he doesn't like to share his life online. So I hope there's gonna be a lot of stuff in my life with him that I won't be talking about :)

Such boyfriend material

Okay, I met up with this cute and super nice guy. He said he'd want to meet again but... I'm afraid we won't. Ugh. He seems so so so good though. Such boyfriend material.