Kevin is just gross

Some Kristy girl - "Kevin is just gross"

*gasp*
*goes cries eyes out*

Totally on the edge of my seat here!

Bhahahaa, oh shit I cannot stop laughing at this silly video I posted in my previous post.
Hahahaaaa.
Sooo intense! :D
1:19 LOL

This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Watched The Simpsons tonight and this song came on.

Oh it totally reminded me of this guy I dated for a while when I lived in Ireland.

He totally had me at this bit he said. He said that when he was younger he would skip classes to go and chill at the art museum. And when I was younger myself and hadn't been on a proper date (well...I still haven't been on a proper proper date) I always said I don't wanna hang about in the street with some guy and giggle and shit. I always wanted to go to art museum for the first date with some guy.

And with this one guy that is exactly what we did. Plus he said he was related to Yeats the painter.

And dunno if I have talked about it before but he was the guy who accompanied me to my first Vivladi concert. When I was younger I used to say that I'd marry the guy who took me to a Vivaldi concert.

Hm, as I'm typing this I kind of remember I've talked about it before.

Anyway, we were never really going out but we hung out and stuff.

He actually sent me an email a while back but I never replied. Mostly cause I had just broken up with my boyfriend and I didn't wanna see any men or talk to one.

And that reminds me (maybe I've talked about this aswell) but there was this another lad who said he wanted to open a bookstore. And that was a winner for me.

Yeah... good old memories of Irish lads.

Mmmm, and then the fit one. Yeah, there was a really fit one but he was a bit of an arse.

Like, he was a friend of a friend and she gave him my number.

We communicated for four days only.

First day he got my number he was constantly and over eagerly texting me.

I hadn't seen him so I was kind of worried.

The second day we met for the first time - and just as soon as I opened the car door and saw him sitting in the backseat I was like, "Wow!" and to be sure that he was my date I asked my friend who was sitting in the front next to her boyfriend who was driving if this was really the guy then everybody laughed and said, "Yeah". Well, was a nice start anyway. But the evening itself was quite tedious - we just sat in the car ith the windows down. There was another car parked next to ours in some field and they were all talking shit and smoking something and groping their boyfriends and girlfriends - some got their tits out and some their dicks.

I felt a bit weirded out cause I had never seen anyone before besides my friend.

Anyway, me and the fit lad went out for a walk and he tried to kiss me but I freaked out.

And it was the same during the other two times he tried to kiss me that night.

The third day we were constantly texting again. I went over to his place. We didn't talk, just watched Nacho Libre til my friends relative came over to his plac. He then walked me to the taxi...stop and tried tpo kiss me again but I freaked out (What a bitchy tease, right?!).

The next day after mad texting I told him I was totally gonna do it with him cause I was gonna get drunk so I wouldn't freak out. And he kind of agreed.

So since I'm very lightweight, I drank three beers and was sort of tipsy.

Off I went to see him again, in his friend's car with his relative next to the driver.

And then all this shitty handjob shit happened and he wouldn't go back to my place cause he had to be home by eleven. What. The. Fuck? What kind of normal man says no to sex? Well, I guess you can't really call him a man since he was only 18 and I was 22.

Anyway, he texted me after the date that he had had a great time and that I'm a nice girl and have a nice body. And that's the last I heard of him.

What bollocks? Seriously, why the hell did I have to get out of my house for some crappy two-way handjob?

Never again! I totally told him he can stay at my place for the night and he was totally the one initiating the whole thing. Tool!

Anyway, this thing went way off topic but I just couldn't stop while I was on a roll.

Oh and I can't remember what I was looking at on YouTube, but I found this so bad it's good video:

TS04112010

Whatever, seriously, whatever, go PMS on your own.

Bahhh!
My headphones just broke.
How am I gonna listen to loud music now?
I have only a little bit of money left so I better be able to afford some new headphones.
I could probably afford earphones but those are so crappy and sore.

Oh and the father is still being an arse.
He was saying that everyone else in the house has their windows closed and that I cannot have my window open. And he told me that I cannot live my life and that he needs to tell me what to do.
Well, first - I don't give a fucking flying fuck about other people in the house or their windows.
Seriously, I bet there's no other eejit in this house walking into other people's rooms in the middle of the night saying that they know best how people have to live their lives.
Second - I've told him this before that I am not and never will be what and who he wants me to be. I might be his daughter but I'm not his fucking puppet (and by fucking puppet I mean someone who he can boss around in a non-sexual manner). Seriously, I asked him whether I have to work in a saw mill like him for him to leave me alone. I am not gonna get married and have children and do some horrible job and be stuck with my fat, my father type of an eejit husband and bastard children! If this is the right way to live life by his definition then no thanks, I see you living it and I'm not gonna make your mistakes.
And if he wanted to teach me so bad then where the hell was he when I was like 5?
He was divorcing my mother - that's where he was.
Okay, he was in my life my whole life but he never did any bringing up so...sorry, buddy, but you're waaaaaaayyyy too late. About 20 years!
And I'm soooooo over the window business and I just don't understand how he can be such a bitch about the window. If the window was not meant to be open then it would be a closed window, one you couldn't open at all.
And like, then he's going on about how I don't think about others in the house. Well, what's there to think about? You're all in your rooms, why the fuck cannot you accept that I live in this house too and I cannot sleep when the window is closed cause there's no air!
Oh and I'm totally done talking to him and it's all because it's just not possible, he's always being a dick.
And he made a fuss about that aswell.
Whatever, seriously, whatever, go PMS on your own.

You scratch my back I'll scratch yours

Sooo...
Had to go to Viljandi yesterday.
It's this small but beautiful town.

Ugh, since I still get panic attacks when travelling I decided to go there by train. Alone.
Mainly cause I can't bear to be around my father and there's no way I want to depend on him when I'm at my weakest and lowest point. By that I mean, I don't want him to take me to the town in his car when I'm having several panic attacks.
And the second reason is that I don't want to depend on anyone or have anyone to support me when I have panic attacks. I want to get over this stupid fear of mine.
Well... it didn't really work cause I did get panic attacks and I wasn't completely alone. I rang my mother just as soon as I got on the train cause I started shaking and crying like a crazy motherfucker.
And I just kept saying, "I want to get off so bad. Right! Now!" over and over to my mother.
Anyway, I lasted all the way there and back with my mother on the phone for an hour altogether.

All that drama aside it was a great day.
Was nice to leave this little village of a town for a day.

I got there in the morning around half ten and got back by five so I had enough time to hang out there.
Unfortunately I had nothing planned and don't know the town too well.
I just wandered around and came across this amazing looking place.
Too bad I didn't have a camera with me.
I did a little research and this is the place I was at yesterday:

 And here's a little video aswell:

I also went to the Museum. I was really impressed with those really delicate and sharp knife type of things. I don't think people nowadays could make something like that out of a couple of stones.

Yeah and when I got back to my hometown I went straight to the belly dance practice.
I'm not sure I can really do it. I have to film myself dancing first so I remember the steps and moves then try and get good at it.

Oh and just remembered - when I was talking to my mother on the way to the town she was at the dentist, in the waiting room. I said I'd rather be at the dentist than be on train and she said she'd rather ride a train ten times than be at the dentist. Anyway, she had to give out to me a few times so that I wouldn't get off the train and to do that she had to leave the waiting room. She was risking losing her appointment to keep me on train, but since she's scared of the dentist I was kinda doing her a favour :D

Yeah, that's about it. Have to start working on my forum again, letting things go a bit there. Oops.