new cute friends

So... there's this guy from last year who I sort of fancy that sort of "contacted" me. Hopefully something will ome out of it cause yeah...I like him.

Anyway...today was a pretty neat day. I even went to the local shop and didn't have to take any medicine to calm my nerves. Although I freaked out in the shop cause there were too many people. Luckily I got in the line before most of them.

Anyway...that's all bollocks. Not important.

We had our very first barbecue today. Was really nice. The day was so warma dn fuzzy. The evening got kinda cold though so I came in quite a few times to warm up.

Here are some pics of tonight:

And here's on of our lawn:

I just LOVE blue flowers!!! These ones are Scilla siberica.
And on thursday evening we made mushrooms with blue cheese again. Took a pic cause it looks so yummy. And tastes like it too:


Plus, I meant to post this earlier in the week but never got round to it. Anyway, I have new cute friends in my room in town:

That's tomatoes, paprika and some flower.

Kisses to Mr.Sex

Oof... I didn't realise it was the 19th already. Kisses to Mr.Sex!

it would be nice if for once I got who I wanted

Blah...I just found out the last real life guy I was in love with has a kid. And he posted a pic of himself on Facebook and he looks so yummy. *blub* I was really into him about 12 years ago for a couple of years. I don't think I've been so madly in love with anyone since him. I know I had a boyfriend but it was different.
Ahhh...I wish I fell for someone in real life like that again. And it would be nice if for once I got who I wanted!!! I realise it's kinda hard when I don't leave the house but still...

Well shit...I think I know myself better, thank you very much

Ugh! Complain post alert!
So I got talking to my mother about my anxiety issues. She said she thinks it's cause of my marriage stuff that happened when I lived in Ireland. I got caught up in a fictive marriage business and yes it was unpleasant but it had absolutely no effect on me whatsoever. Emotionally or physically or mentally. Well, I actually felt a little disappointed with myself since I was about to toss all of my beliefs to the wind but other than that it had no effect on me. And I know for a fact it's not why I have health problems now.
I told her I have issues cause of her alcohol overdose that happened when I was a kid. Now that had a MASSIVE effect on me. And because of that I've been terrified of vomiting, ever since that night.
And this fear is what keeps fucking with my head even now. I can't do shit cause I'm afraid I'll get sick. And the mother said it's not the case. Well shit...I think I know myself better, thank you very much.

Ugh...yeah...was outside for the most of the day working. Apparently the weather will be even warmer tomorrow so we're having a barbecue. Yay! I just hope I won't get anxiety and can eat.

Here we go again

So I'm at my mother's place. Here we go again with the feeling sick business. Blahhh, I'm so over it.
But I gotta say I'm loving my new mouse!!! Ahhh. :)