Such a great productive day! Yay!

Okay. Was a good day! After almost two weeks of shitshow.
So birthday happened aswell. The actual day mum came to my workplace and we did basically half the job. Just the bottom floor and not even fully.
On saturday dad came with my stepmum, my brother didn't come cause he had something bad happen to him and he wasn't in the mood.
Then later on after dad and his wife had left, my mum and her man and my other brother came. Was basic chitchat with both fams.
I had ordered 2 kilos of birthday salad and two banana-chocolate cakes. I had told my mum for years to buy the cake for me so this time I bought two myself. Had to throw out the last piece. Was too much cake :D Next year I'll just get one.
Mum's family gave me a really Stepford wife's gift - a vacuum cleaner. :D I had wanted one for quite a while. I planned to buy a used one. Called Lembit to ask about watts and crap and he said "don't buy a used one, I'll keep an eye out for you if I see a cheap one."
So I got a cute little red one. It's so powerful though. And it's bagless too, woohoo!
Dad gave me some money. Today I went out to waste it. :D
I had bought some more expensive food before but today was the real waste day.
I bought four new pillowcases, a fitted sheet that I'll use as a mattress cover cause the mattress is white. I also bought a yellow bed sheet. I just washed them to use them. The bastard yellow sheet coloured my other stuff though. One of the pillowcases was so nice and blue and now it's bright green. Fuck!
And I bought myself twinkle lights a while ago. not cause of Christmas but cause I like shiny colourful, twinkling lights.
And I bought myself a perfume or something...some Adidas one.
Yeah I went to a few shops today. Walked around Lõunakeskus alone and then went to work and then went to Eeden. Had two cheeseburgers in Eeden. Some woman walking by laughed at me eating them. Oh yeah and had a smoothie and a wrap at Lõunakeskus. I'm evolving!
Then came home and cleaned the place and cooked.
I left the house at 11:45 in the morning and just sat down about half an hour ago. Such a great productive day! Yay!

Also started a new pill last night, the gabapentin. And the shitshow of a fortnight was cause my body was craving olanzapine. So hopefully now I won't crave it anymore or won't feel as bad. Ughhh!
I think why I felt so bad this time was cause I quarter the pill into four pieces. And I guess some pieces don't have as much olanzapine in them and I guess I got the little content pill.
I hope this new little fucker works! It makes me dizzy which will hopefully go away at some point. But if not then I'm willing to live with it for two months if it means I can get off of olanzapine.
I got bruises and menstraul spotting again last time I took the pill.
Oh I also got to see a endocrinologist. She was super nice! The nicest doctor I've met in my life! Was attentive and listened to what I said.
Had blood tests done for thyroid, possibly sex hormones and also liver. She said it's most likely a progesterone thing that I keep bleeding inbetween periods.
She did ultrasound on my thyroid, saw a little cyst, like 0,4 and 0,6 cm or something. She said it can go away on its own. And siad it was a little thicker and a little bigger but no obvious, alarming faults.
Should get my results on monday.

no clue what is going on

Ok, have no clue what is going on. Started feeling super dizzy at work, or like I was gonna pass out. Have anxiety now and little passing out feeling. Am I sick? Do I need more antipsychotic? Like...what? Ughh, don't wanna up my dose.

I thought I was over this. Guess not

Ugh. I thought I was over this. Guess not. Took a pill on Monday morning at 7am. Olanzapine of course. By the time I got to work I was spotting again. Fuck! And I've been up all night lately aswell. Took the pill then and I slept til 15:30. So it's obviously the pill that's causing my insomnia aswell. Ughhhh!

all I've done is die

Started my period today. Took a 1000mg of paracetamol and a no spa. Not even an ounce less pain! Fuck! Should have taken ibuprofen straight away. I thought since it makes you bleed more I shouldn't take it when on period but fuck... I'd rather bleed more than have this pain. I mean it's not gonna make me bleed to death ffs. Now I have to wait a few hours to take it and suffer through til that time. Tried to take a nap but someone was drilling something or...something.
The upside is, my mum's man came over today to help me put together the bed my landlord bought me. It's a long story, dunno if blogged before, but my back didn't want to let me sleep on the old bed so the landlord ended up buying a new one for me. Mum's man said it doesn't look like a very sturdy bed so hopefully it doesn't collapse when I'm in it.
Yesterday was super though. I worked at two places. Went in to my regular job to do extra work, for free. I just felt so productive yesterday. Thought of leaving one place for today but I was already spotting yesterday and I thought I'd start properly today and would be dying today and was right. So luckily I did everything yesterday. Today all I've done is die.
Should be better tomorrow.

TS5112017

Can I have it every night?

Yeah yeah I know I have the dream page but I had a dream I had sex with Matthew Gray Gubler and then with Shemar Moore. To my... dismay maybe?... Moore was better. Fuck! :D Gubler's the babe though. Great dream though. Can I have it every night?