Nuts

Right, there was this one time when I woke myself up with snoring...or snorting. And I was like drooling all over the place. My lips, tongue and everything else around them were swollen, sore and stiff. I know it sounds super cute and adorable.
Anyway, the evening before I had eaten a packet of nuts.

Around Christmas time I had a few chocolate sweets that had hazelnuts in them and the same thing happened in the morning.

Last night I had a chocolate with nuts in it and I have a sore mouth now: blisters, swelling, stiffness.
I can't say the letter s.

Huh? Have I developed an allergy to nuts or what? I never had anything like it when I was a child.
It's just the last couple of years.

Also, I've read about eating disorders and digesting problems to figure out my stomach problem.
I came a across this one disorder - achalasia or dysphagia.

I have an appointment again on the 17th of Feb. And after that some day I will have the endoscopy and colonoscopy day. Gah, I read that the stuff they give you for cleaning out the inner tubes the day before your colonoscopy appointment can make you sick. Yeah, i don't want that. Hmh, will see how that goes.


There have been some scary thoughts in my head, for quite some time now that are waaay too overwhelming to have in your head, let alone talk/write about.
Like, why is that you kind of...literally...want to let go of a person who has been really nice to you and has supported you, someone who you cannot find any flaws in? It's absolutely killing me. This is what I want and need from another person, but unfortunately my want and need to give something as nice back to a person doesn't apply to that certain person. Well, my consciousness agrees with my wants and needs, but my emotions just live a life of their own.
I don't know what to do about it. Bummer!

Boyfriend was over last night. Went for a walk, oh and I put some make up on beforehand. I hadn't touched my make up 'tools' for sooo long since I'm stuck in the house 24/7 and no one sees me. Mascara-what? Foundation-who?
Boyfriend wanted to go for a few drinks, I didn't, so we didn't go. Then he said he wants to introduce me to his friends, while out drinking or at his house. I wouldn't mind his house but it means he as to bring me there, in his car. And yeah, I get motion sickness when he drives, also with a lot of other drivers.

Okay, I'm really bored at the minute and hungry, but cannot eat since my mouth is ow! No more peanuts! Ever!

Oh and I really really want to watch Titanic, but I cannot find the DVD. Maybe I wrote about it before but...it's been missing for quite some time now.



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