something always goes wrong

Oh jeez! Everytime I cook for the family something always goes wrong. Something's undercooked, too salty or peppery or sweet. This time I made cake. Mother had bought three layers of pastry. I was just supposed to put jam and sourcream on each layer. So I did. When mother went to taste my cake she discovered I had left the thin layers of paper in aswell. :D Oh my god! The paper was so thin I thought it was pastry. I mean one side of the pastry did look different than the other but I thought it's just how it's made. Luckily mother could rearrange the cake and remove the papers.

my lifestyle, life goal and me

"Ma väga palju haigustest ei taha rääkida, sest minu arvates ei tohi sa end samastada oma haigusega. See ei tohi saada sinu omaks. See peab olema keegi, kellega sa toimetad oma igapäevaseid toimetusi ja püüad hakkama saada, aga see ei ole sina." - Vahur Kersna

Ouch! I'm totally the opposite. My anxiety is my lifestyle, life goal and me.

I want someone I'm physically attracted to

I signed up on OkCupid the other day. Yeah... I know I'm ugly as fuck myself but gosh.... Estonian men aren't even worth looking at. Maybe they have nice personalities, dunno. The website is forever suggesting me Finnish men and they're so much better looking. Estonian men look like peasants. Not that there's anything wrong with that but I want someone I'm physically attracted to.

numbing pain

Oh god. It started last weekend. I have a numbing pain in my chest, on the right side. It's not my windpipe. Probably nerve pain. If it continues this bad or gets worse I'll go to th doctor on Monday. Ouch.

mentally stimulating

Okay, I seriously want a man. Not in a physical way. I want a mentally stimulating relationship. And then emotionally empowering one and then...physical. Where are all the dudes?

I'm an open book. Don't look for the cover

Well  said.

What a traitor!

Think it was last Friday when I was chilling with my mother in her bedroom. The TV was on. Some Lana Del Rey song came on. Mother had almost drifted off but woke up to listen to the song. She said it sounds like "her kind of music". What a traitor!  :D
I then left the room saying I don't wanna listen to some chick who's canoodling with my crush.

adopt

Ugh...why is my health the way it is? And why is my life the way it is? I so wanna adopt a cat and most imprtantly, a child. I wish I had my own place for them. I don't necessarily need a man for the child but I'd definitely need health and money.
Ugh.
I just read up about adopting a kid and I so wanna do it. I'm so glad my brother is adopted and that I was introduced to adopting. It's the best thing ever! I so hope more people will discover the wonders of adopting a child.

cold and snowy

Ugh. Complaining ahead!
Why is it almost winter? I really cannot wait til spring. I don't want the cold and snowy weather. Like, I wanna go for a bike ride but it's too cold and dark outside. *whine*

Half an hour left

Half an hour left and then I'll be 29. Won't be going back to town tomorrow cause my bike broke again. One of the tyres again. Ughhhh, I just got a new one and now it's broken. So annoying. But at least I get to spend my birthday with the family. I was woken today by mum and Lembit. He gave me a kiss :D
Oh and I got two Puls cherry beers and a chocolate.
And Heli and Jaan came over. Gave me hand and body lotion, a chocolate and a flower as gifts.

knock me down and trample all over me

Ugh, I'm torn.
So I had the test day at the farm. The baby cows were cute. Three were born on the day I worked. I think I could handle the feeding the calves. The thing I'd have problems with are cows and milking. I'm scared of cows... I just think they'll knock me down and trample all over me. But this is not why I don't want the job. I'm just terrified of responsibility. If I fail at the job it is not just a personal failure, the poor cows and calves suffer cause of me and I cannot let that happen. Plus I'd feel a little bad about the bosses who hire me. Yeah, I already called them and said I didn't want the position. I actually hope they'll ring me and ask me to try again. As I said, I'm torn, dunno what to do about the position. If they do ring me it'll be a sure sign that I'm supposed to work there.

test day

Blah, I have a test day at the farm tomorrow. I so hope I can handle it. I really really need the money. Plus, I do like them cows and the smell isn't that bad.

serious girl crush

Ahh...had a disco night with the fam again.

Mum and Lembit drank wine and we ate grapes and blue cheese. Listened to old German disco music.

Ha! And then I was like, to my mum, let's take a selfie. She said it came out pretty well. Said I must have practiced it alot. She doesn't know I have a whole page dedicated to selfies on my blog :D


Oh and then we listened to E-Type:

Damn...I have a serious girl crush on that chick. What moves! What body! Lembit said she was way ahead of her time with twerking.


TS31102014