too much for me

Oh my goodness. So much is happening. Dunno how I'll survive this friday.
Have the dentist, well technically today. Root canal. I am shitting myself cause the last time at the dentist I got the worst anxiety. I have never in my life been scared of the dentist. Ever! And I'm still not now but the thought of being stuck in a situation for an hour is... too much for me.
I have been waiting for it for three months and the fucker of a day is here.

In the morning though I will go look at three new apartments cause I've had enough of Ilme. Well she wanted me to do the water, as in write down and calculate the water digits and shit for the water bill. She told me that several times but I was busy on the internet. And then right before going to work, I started getting ready a few minutes early to do the damn water. And this bitch comes into my room all huffy and puffy and says "How many times do I have to call you to do the water? If we can't work this thing out I'll find someone else to help me". Like someone else to live here. And I said I'll do it when I have time and not when she wants me to. And if she is such a hurry she can do it herself. And then she was like "Oh so you don't use the water?". Bitch, I know you shower once a week but you fucking live in the kitchen so you use the water aswell and I've been doing the water for fucking years for you. Anyway, I told her it's not even my duty to do it, cause I'm just a tennant, she's the landlady, she needs to take care of it herself. And then she was like "is it really that hard for you to do it?" And I said "is it hard for you?" And then she said "I am an old person". And I said if you need help with your duties get a fucking social worker, I'm not one, I don't have to do it. And I also said she will never get anyone as conciliatory as me. Like does that bitch really think someone will move in to "help", really meaning do everything for, a random old person cause "they're old" out of their own free time!? Nobody will fucking move in anywhere where they have to take care of some randomer!! Especially when they have to pay for it themselves!!
And she was like "I've helped you" and I was like "Haven't I?"
I've taken out her shit for years, I've done the water for years, I've gone to the shop for her (like she used to for me for a short period) and pharmacies in town to get her medicine, I've rund around like a shithead for her magazine business with her friends (given her friends her magazines and newspapers and brought back stuff from them), I've gone to the cellar for her, several several times.
And she never asks. She thniks it's obvious that I do these things and when I don't or don't do them right the second she wants it done she gets so arrogant and demanding. Like, seriously bitch, I don't have to do this shit! You're just a landlady to me.
Also she espects me to drop everything for her but the second I bring a man over or, OH MY GOD!, have sex with him she has the fucking audacity to come and talk shit to my face about it!?!! Like, she flat out gave me a bollocking for having dudes over and forbid me to have sex. Shut the fuck up bitch!!!!!!
 I am soooooo looking for a new  place. I can't deal with this anymore. I feel like I'm healthy enough for a new relationship and it's never gonna happen if I stay in this shitty nunnery. Fuck, she's such a tyrant! I'm saying, she will never ever get anyone new here. No one will do shit like that for her like I have done. And no one will live here if they can't have a personal life. Luckily for the cunt I'm a natural hermit so I like being mostly alone. Like, she says "understand me, I'm an old person, I need help with stuff", well cunt understand this: I'm a young person who likes to have a personal life and sex.
Fuck! I hope I'll see something good tomorrow. Fuck, I don't need this stress right now along with the tooth stuff. Ughh! At least my new therapist will be coming with me. Maybe it'll help.

Plus I still have a ton to update on from three weeks ago. Been to mum's house twice this year. Three weeks ago and last weekend. I brought my cute baby cactus to town aswell and replanted it. Pics to come.

cigarettes

Damn, this last weekend I bought my 17 year old brother cigarettes. I should have stuck to my guns and never bought them for him. It's illegal yeah but it's also super bad for health.
And mum just called and said she talked to the police. He got caught smoking at school. Dumbass. Mum has talways told him not to smoke at school.
Oh yeah and mum got all sassy with the police and told them to find the damn person who gives the young cigarettes and fine them. And when she hung up she remembered she had bought that packet for him. lol

Scaring the grays away

So, on sunday, this happened...

Scaring the grays away.
And this is the result:

Natural, like I wanted it. At least no gray can be seen. And I like it a little shorter :)

Also our garden got a makerover after years:

Normally we've always had the whole patch full of harvestables. Or like onions mostly. Maybe some peas and beans and strawberries. Anyway, this year we dug it up and planted grass on it. Second pic is of grass seeds. We got these cut outs of underground tubes, just like big cylinders and rolled them on the patch to...get the seeds to stick I guess. We didn't water, we hoped for rain that night. Didn't rain. Mum said the morning dew is enough. Hm...?

And the rapeseed is almost in full bloom. The dandelion yellow is cuter. More yellow and warmer.

Biology

Okay, I'll try to get into uni this year again :D
I'm fucking crazy. Maybe it'll all work out this time.
Biology.

still salty af

Okay, there were these people in the street dressed all nice and stuff, trying to talk to people. I thought they were selling something so I just rode past them on my bike.
Then later when I was going home they stopped me. Omg, the dude was so cute. He talked to me with that weird accent. And obviously that's why he was cute. Cause he wasn't estonian. Like I love my people, but we're an ugly bunch.
And to my disappointment he wanted to talk to me about jesus. Fuck! So cute but so messed up. He asked me why I wasn't interested in religion and I said I've seen what it does to people. And then, we were talking in estonian and I asked him if he'd prefer to talk in english "so it would be easier for him". He laughed and asked me if I wanted to practice mine and he was alright talking in estonian cause he was good enough. Like he probably was but I feel bad saying this, I just didn't understand much cause of his accent. The bits I did understand were great, he could really pull a sentence together not stumble and mumble but his accent was pretty bad. So when I asked if he wanted to do it in english I meant "sorry dude, I don't understand your accent". :D
I just didn't have the heart to tell him that cause as I said when I did understand him he was great and he was nice in general. Eventhough he wanted to talk about jesus.

And before that I had been at my mum's workplace and was on her computer. I saw a woman coming towards the cash register so I moved away so mum could serve her. I just wandered off looking at stuff in the shop. Then as I thought they were finishing the payment I walked back up, closer and I'm pretty sure the woman was my bully in high school. :D I kept my distance and stared at her to be sure.
She bought a broom and some little item. When she left the shop I walked up to my mum and said, "I think that was the girl who used to bully me in high school. You should have taken the broom stick and shove it up her ass". Damn, still salty af.