Kevin's really gone now

Okay, so Kevin's really gone now. A family came over and the girl picked him. Ughhhh, he was my fave!!!

Glee Rumours review

What's with the "Hit it!"?
Qwyneth said it first and now it's in every episode before every song?

Lea Michele's lipsyncing is so bad. She goes overboard with her mouth and facial expressions. It's scary.

Okay, Sam's living in a motel? Damn, why don't all the homeless and jobless people live in motels? I mean you get free shelter, breakfast and you get people to clean after you. It's brilliant!

TS04052011

I have never ever let myself down like that ever in my life

Fuck!
Anxiety!
So everything was going great. I didn't feel nervous about my exam today at all. Never ever. Not once cause it was an English exam.
I got up at six and was like... cool.
Then I took my brother's bike and went to Tartu.
Had to go to my mother's workplace first to print out the examination paper thingy.
I was not nervous! I was like, "Blah, English!".
And I was a little late for the exam. But I made it.
First my pen wouldn't work.
Then asked the girl next to me for a pen. It stopped working.
Asked her for another pen and it stopped working.
Then asked one of the examination ladies for a pen, that worked.
The first task was to write a letter and an essay.
How fucking easy!?
I was doing so great with the essay and I was a bit taken aback cause I couldn't remember how to close off a formal letter but whatever. I could've just written "Yours sincerely" and lose a point or something BUT.
For whatever idiotic reason I got an anxiety attack and it totally made me lose concentration so I gave the ladies my paper and walked out. I never got write the letter and had about a hundred word essay (200 was needed). I told them I got an anxiety attack and couldn't do it. They tried to get me to stay for the second half - grammar - aswell but I was there for the points and if I knew I had handed in a half arsed essay and no letter that I'm very much capable of writing then the grammar bit wouldn't have helped me.
So everything sucked monkey butt!!
I have no idea why I freaked out. It's fucking English! I can do English! Fucking blindfolded if I have to. I swear!!!!! I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo disappointed. I have never ever let myself down like that ever in my life.
And this has made me very weary about the other exams cause...for those I have to study a lot. Read a lot of books and remember lots of stuff. If I couldn't do English then how the fuck am I supposed to do those?! I hate this stupid anxiety so much!! Will it fucking ever give it a rest?! And my mother said if I'm like that then I won't be able to cope with the the pressure and the amount of stuff to study in university and that is the only goal in my life right now. If I don't have that, I have nothing. Nothing to live for. Cause If I cannot study then I sure as hell cannot hold down a job cause of the fucking anxiety.
Fuck!

Well, I didn't really feel like hanging around Tartu much cause I was in a crappy mood after that. And I didn't want to make my stupid body and mind happy by buying things for myself. Like chocolate and a camera. Fuck this body, I'm not taking it out on Tartu if it acts like that.

Yeah and then I rode home. Up the wind! Fifteen fucking kilometres!

Yeah so....played a bit of piano/keyboard. Fed the puppies.Oh four of them have been "booked". And my Kevin is so popular. Several people have called in and wanted him. He's adorable though.

I thought I'd take one of the pups in again to cuddle but when I fed them indoors three of them managed to poop on the floor.

Actually my mother's man might buy me a camera. I talked to him on the phone and said he can buy me one cause he knows the stuff better than I do.
Yeah so....actually I'll go and get one of the puppies and watch some happy film to cheer me up.

You're just like us

Okay, I don't wanna brag too soon but I think I quite like living with my mother.I get on with the brother quite well. Well...kinda. I mean I made him cry today but whatever. (He didn't hoover the floor properly and I turned off his computer so he'd concentrate on the floor not his game and he started crying).
The one thing I like is that my mother's family all like cold rooms. I mean woohoooo!!!! She said I can keep the window open and when I told her I like a cool room with fresh air she said, "You're just like us".
Hopefully I'll be able to go to Tartu tomorrow and shop for a bit. I wanna buy a new camera.

And another thing, my brother had a keyboard that's now upstairs. I plan to make it a music room, along with my violin. I already played a bit on the keyboard but the brother said I was giving him a headache. Oh my room is upstairs!. The house itself looks a little shabby but it's still our own and we own a forest! Hell yeah!

So I was suppose to be upstairs by my self but I feel a little scared. Um, I've seen one too many ghost films. So my brother will move upstairs aswell. Tonight he's sleeping in my room with me.
Oh and I hate unpacking. So many clothes and so much of other stuff.

Right so, I'm off to bed soon. I might go and do an exam tomorrow, I'll see how my anxiety is in the morning.


On the side note: I cannot believe how many USA supporters there are on my forum, the amount of people who believe 9/11 was a terrorist attack. But then again a lot of them think you can get pregnant when kissing so... Gullibility is the word.

Kevin's gone

So we're busy getting rid of our pups:

The light brown one is my fave. I actually told my mother I wanna keep that. I mean I said I wanna keep a dog!
I told the dog today, "You're the best dog in the world " and then this woman called and said she wants it. Blah!
And tomorrow the one on the right in the first pic will be taken aswell.
The first time I saw the light brown one I asked my mother what his name was and she said he didn't have one. So I called him Kevin. And he's so nice and calm and now....gone.
I even wanted to take him to my room tonight and cuddle but I already took two of them in and one of them peed on my bed and the other one pooped on the floor.