Bug on a chain

Al (hands gift to Trudy): Happy anniversary, Gertrude.

Trudy: Oh, thank you, Albert.

Trudy: (opens gift) I always wanted one of these!

Tim: A cockroach on a chain!

Trudy: No, it's a scorpion. It's my birthsign.

men keep righting my anti-men beliefs with their stupidity

Was talking to my mother when her man butted in and told me to get out of the room with my business.
Yeah, dude, no one allowed you to speak so shut your fucking man face!
Plus, I just love how men keep righting my anti-men beliefs with their stupidity.

Dog's won't win

So I had our dogs up in my room the other day. One of them was riding around my carpet on her ass, scratching it and the other one was laying on my bed farting, ruining the harmony in my room.
I want a cat.

Glee I Am Unicorn review

Well, this show doesn't make Kurt Hummel Hurt Hummel Homo, it makes the whole cast and crew and the fans of it homo.

Why in the world would the woman come back to the girl she adopted from?! I can't imagine my stepmother going back to the teenager who gave birth to my brother and be like, "Here's your kid back". Ridiculous and inconsiderate. Who is she to tell that she wants the real mother to be the kid's life? Plus,why in the world is she giving orders about how Quinn looks!?

Rachel and her mum singing... Boring song alert!

Okay, another doofus. Where does Will take the right to give out to Quinn like that and call her a train wreck!?

Pfft... Quinn's baby'smother saying everything has to go by her terms. So she's allowed to walk into everyone's life and ruin it and when they decide to see their baby it's wrong?!

Kurt's song is super boring aswell, but Chris's well good.
What was funny about the whole Romeo and Juleit part!?

Oh jaysas, howare you supposed to have a conversation with someone if they only talk about one thing, Rachel's mum?! Ugh, serisouly, who the fuck does she think she is ordering people around!

Okay, now you gotta be like everyone else or dress like everyone else wants you to dress to joing Glee club?

Glee has nothing to do with arts so stop saying that already.

Blaine's audition... what is it with the boring songs!?

That was the end? Okay then.

The three days

Well,here are a few picsfrom my college days. The three days:

My dorm room, my bed's the one with stuff on it.


The table near my bed, with a drawing on the wall




The press


Drawing on the press


The ever so beautiful hallway to the bathroom

And the cherry on top: the kitchen

He blushed and walked out the room

I just made my mother's man blush. He was asking me about vibrators... I don't know where he was going with it and I just kept saying I don't have the need for one. And then he kept asking me the same question all over and over and I kept saying the same thing over and over. It all ended with me saying I don't care much for men, I just like their dicks. He blushed and walked out the room.

Wow, what a terrible night I had.I mean dreams.

Wow, what a terrible night I had.I mean dreams.
First there was an apocalypse dream. There was a storm coming and we (me and my mother's family) keptrunning away from it.I remember I was praying to Earth that it would calm down and leave us alive or kill us quickly but not let us see any of the natural disasters.
Then the next dream I was back in our Tartu appartment.I went for a walk in my undies and had really longhair andwas trying to hide my revealing outfit with it. Anyway, I stopped at this random house ause I wanted to meet new people. And apparently there lived some dude who I didn't know personally but I just knewhe was a nice guy. When I saw him I left and just asI was about to arrive home some random dude off the street had commented on my outfit. And you could tell he was a sleazebag. We didn't talk much, I invited  him inside and we got it on. And apparently when I was on top I had fallen asleep and woken up next to him.I didn'tremember it but he told me.
We were on the attic and there was saw dust all over the place.

It was super weird. Kept me awake all night.

Glee The Purple Piano Project review

Okay, Will and the woman, Rachel&Finn - sucking up to fans much?!

The geometry teacher - sucking up to non-fans much!?

Why is the Sasquatch always rubbing Mike's shoulders?

Plus, Mercedes dating Sam, that little scene was so unnecessary at the end of the previous episode, plus it's even more unnecessary to bring it up now.

What kinda normal man would discuss the green-red-light-business with his boss and enemy?!

I thought Sugar was rather good. And why make Artie say that retarded line!? Like anyone who doesn't want/like singing or can't do it, is a rubbish person.

Ugh, enough of the "hit it"s!

Oh god, and we continue with the gay overload! Why make these two fuckers act like the only normal human beings on the show!? Ryan Murphy at his gayest!


Yeah I get it that bad attention is better than none but Glee ain't the only one who benefits, I get more blog hits. In your face!

Well... that wasn't as negative as usually.

I give up.

Are you happy now!? Is this what you wanted?!
Well, whatever, you fuck, you win. I give up.

she can finally call herself an actress

Wooo, Glee is back on tonight so I'll be bitching for the season to come.

Other than that, just seen Bloodworth. I must say I was expecting a mindless girlie movie, seeing as Hilary Duff is in it but it turned out to be pretty good. Well, I can't see what the point of it was, nor was it an interesting story but nothing really disappointed me and Hilary actually surprised me. Judging by this film she can finally call herself an actress.

an oak and a chestnut tree

Thought I'd make a blog entry about it.. me and my brother planted 4 trees today, me - an oak and a chestnut tree and my brother - an oak and a chestnut tree.Will see in spring whether they survived the planting and winter. And just a reminder for myself... mine are the ones near the apple trees and the brother's are the ones beside the field. Right so.

Other than that I've been avoiding my brother cause he seemed to have some sort of a stomach bug. Think I got it myself aswell but I've been drinking plenty of flu teas so I'm good I think.

I don'tmean to jinx it like... but I've been feeling not so bad recently.I mean I did have anxiety today and I was very tempted to take the Valium drops butI didn't. Looks like the antipsychotic I'm taking is the right medicine for me.

Tomorrow's gonna be a bit busy.I'm gonna have to ring the college and tell them I'm not taking the course, then ring my doctor for a prescription and her "doctor number" which I need for the disability application thingy, then I have to ring the social welfare regarding the application and then finally, have to ring the school I used to go to for biology/geography/chemistry classes for cause I still plan to take leaving exams next spring so... I gotta actually study now and read the books I got from the school. Yeah, bitches, that was one sentence!

Oh and I just realised... well my mother pointed it out that one of my dreams has come true - being in college. Yeah, it was... physically for three days and sort of theoretically about a fortnight but still. I said already that I'm very pleased I could be called a student but yeah.... I've been to college. Next year hopefully longer.

Oh and my mother wants me to find a place and a job in Tartu cause I cannot travel by car and there'sno way I'll get to town on a bike in winter so... have to find a place for three months. I think I could do the living in Tartu cause after all I call it my hometown but the working bit... that's what I'm worried about. Yahh, haveto find one that doesn't require any human interaction,maybe then I could do it.

Don't care whether it's sweet or savoury

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I soooooo want to snack on something. Some artificial shit.
We only have dried grapes and plums. Yeah...I'm chewing one of them at the moment. I want my unhealthy stuff. Don't care whether it's sweet or savoury.

If you really knew me, you'd know what you should do right now

I don't think women are as clear with their signals as men. On a job site, for instance, if a man hold up a stop sign he means, "Hey, stop there!".

If a woman holds up a stop sign, if she designed this, it'd say "If you really knew me, you'd know what you should do right now".


- Tim Taylor

Covered up

A positive entry

So I inadvertently went on to bash christianity in my earlier post.
I am not sorry nor do I wanna take back anything I said but I in the light of becoming more positive I wanna make this a positive post to even out the negative energy sent out before.
Thought I was gonna post some pics but cannot find them. Oh well.

Am I supposed to be like fucking mythical aswell?

Watching ghost videos. Seriously, what is up with all this madhouse business? A madhouse is no different than a regular hospital. A mad person is no different than one with cancer or cough. Such a stupid stereotype. Am I supposed to be like fucking mythical aswell? Seriously, things in madhouse are not as they are made to seem. If someone is being in psychosis then they're given pills and tied to a bed and they get better very quickly. It's not a place where these properly psychotic people roam around and are like terribly tortured and once they so conviniently commit suicide in the hospital (which is like totally doable since nobody looks after the patients and special tools, ie guns, ropes, electrocution chairs, L-pills and knifes are left out so the maddies can pick their own way to kill themselves), their poor souls get stuck in the place and start haunting the hospital years to come and triy to hurt everyone who comes near the place. What a load of bollocks!
Also anything to do with paganism or witches is supposed to be evil and mystical aswell. Anything negative is automatically evil. Christianity sucks monkey balls. It fails to give a rational reasoning to anything and marks anything unknown evil.
To me... a ghost story would be evil when someone says they are a religious family and have bibles at home. No wonder those bitches get "demonic spirits" in their house. It's cause they're so damn stupid and fucking knobs. I'd scare them myself.

Yeah... tried applying for a job - gardener. Would have loved it but it's a lil too far away. I also wanted to get a job as a farm hand but you have to be able to drive a tractor...so yeah.

our local alien

Our local crop circle:


And our local alien who made the circle:


This is the last pic I took with Donna.




This is when mother and her man went totake her to her new home. She crawled onto my lap and didn't wanna go at all.



Here's a scarecrow me and mum made. We have the sea buckthorns there and boy do the birds love thir berries.


And onto more spiritual things. Here's my religious shit:


Love the box. Bought it at local fair.The wooden platter thingy is... will be something that represents the goddess. I have actually coloured it already and the chakra stones, I will glue them on to the platter.


Here's my BOS. Still empty.


And I found a pic of my two tattoos so posted them on here aswell:

I don't know what to do when I do

What to do? What to do? I haven't finishedmy course just yet and I don't know what to do when I do.
Today most likely will be the last day anything needs mowing so... I'll be doing fuck all again. I'd have stuff to do for the forum but I wanna take a proper break from it. Ugh.

I kinda have themes but no context

Okay, I thought of taking part in writing contets. I haven't written since I don't know when. I kinda have themes but no context.

Ahhh, gorgeous voice!

Ahhh, gorgeous voice!

Find more of him here: click

I'm absolutely thrilled over the fact that I have been a student

Well, I'll always be a three day old biomdeical laboratory scientist.
Yep, quit my course. Too much pathology and too many organs.
Will go for hydrobiology, environment protection or biology next year.
But I'm absolutely thrilled over the fact that I have been a student.

college's been on for two days. And I've got a beautiful bruised and battered neck to show

So college's been on for two days. And I've got a beautiful bruised and battered neck to show.
Yeah, I know it's a form of self harm but whatever. It's been quite a ride, emotional and anxious.
Today was 8 hours long and I managed to stay at all of the lectures. Well, I fled once, said I was gonna go to toilet.
We had to do a bit of self introducing and I said never mind if I run out of the classroom all of a sudden, I'm only going to calm down cause I have bad anxiety.
I still don't have internet in my dorm room so...
I just got back to my mother's house. Man, it's so cozy and warm in here, I don't wanna go back to the dorm. I mean it would do if I didn't feel as strange and lonely in there. And the course sounds cool aswell if I didn't have my anxiety, it's very hard to concentrate on the lecture when my mind is preoccupied feeling weird feelings all over the body. Hence I've been self harming, pinching and scratching my neck, it's covered with bruises and scratches.
Had to ride in rain when coming back to mum's, hopefully I didn't catch a cold.

seen a lot of this kinda commotion in the garden

Okay, I've lost a followe. Bye and thanks for stopping by.
I've tried playing the violin but since I've been feeling slightly better I've stopped breaking my fingernails and it's hard to play.

Also seen a lot of this kinda commotion in the garden:

Gis a bite of that aaaaapplleeee!!!

Here's one more pic of me with the "mum haircut"


And two before pics:

big fat head

Anxiety is sticking it's big fat head in my life at the minute.
Ughhhhh.... I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO gotta be okay tomorrow.

My mum cut my hair

Plus, I'm applying for the disability benefit. Had to do a few tests with a psychologist. Again, she thought I wasn't Estonian and had brought Russian tests. Ugh.. plus she said I have an accent. I do not have an accent, I'm like... fucking one hundred percent Estonian!

Oh, please please please.... let my study, body!

Oh Goddess. I soooooooo hope I can study! My anxiety just needs to pull back  a bit. That's all I can think of at the minute.
Been cleaning out my closet for a couple of days now, getting ready to move out. Oh, please please please.... let my study, body!
I looked at my syllabus and I'm a bit worried about chemistry. Hopefully they don't expect us to remember anything from secondary school cause I don't.

Oh well... heh, this looks nice though:

I'm also about to finish my goddess symbol thingy so when I'm completely done with it I can meditate and hopefully things will pick up.

TE01092011

Bum Palace

So, I went to the orientation thingy today. The college orientation. I wasn't there til the very end cause I was worried about getting back. Thought I'd be too tired by the end of it all. So I left pretty soon after it started.
I did take Valium drops but I was calm enough. Although the rooms were very stuffy and warm so I sneaked out a couple of time for fresh air.
When I had the test to get into college I met this girl and todayI found out we're on the same course. Her name's Kelli.
I also got a place in the dorm. Well... the place looks very much like prison or something like it. Very... minimalistic and gross. But I'm gonna have to live there. Should move there on Monday and I'll definitely post pics of that Bum Palace.
And I continue to be worried about my anxiety. Please, please, please, let me study!