when I get there

Will have to leave for work soon. Anxiety is bad. :(
Hope it subsides when I get there.

I smiled all the way home

Just got my baby bike back. Man, it feels totally different when riding it. I was so so so happy. I smiled all the way home.

The anxiety is real

Ugh. Another start of the week. More obstacles to tackle. Today, I have to get my bike from the shop. Have to walk there. Plus, have to go to work again. The anxiety is real.

she dropped everything and ran to the phone

So my bike is in the shop. It breaks my heart a little when I go past the place downstairs where I normally keep it and not seeing it there.
I managed to walk back home from the shop just normally. I had told mother to be by her phone around ten in the morning in case I needed distraction to not get anxiety when going back home. Yeah.. I called her when I got home and she didn't pick up. Then around noon she calls me and says she forgot. She said when she realised she was supposed to be by the phone she dropped everything and ran to the phone. All was good though.
I'm a little worried about next week though. About work. I should start my period and my anxiety is always worse then. But hopefully I'll do fine.

Maybe tomorrow will suck but whatever. I have a good week behind me!

Phew! I remember posting this type of post years ago but... here we go again.
Finished my first week at my new job. I only got anxiety before going to work. Once I got there everything was fine. The job is supposed to last three hours. But today I got done in 2 hours and 15 minutes. I tried to be super fast cause I didn't wanna be the one to set up the alarm system. There's another woman cleaning another part of the building and I want her to do it.
Plus my bike broke on monday. So tomorrow I'm taking it to the shop. I dunno how I'll get home and how I'll get to go and pick it up, walking. I mean... I gotta get it back before work on monday. Yeah the chain and some cogs need to be changed. Hopefully it'll work just fine afterwards. Ahh... life seems good at the minute.
Maybe tomorrow will suck but whatever. I have a good week behind me!

what a day!

Oh my goodness, what a day!
Fist I came to town today from mum's place.
Then I went to shops a few times, with no anxiety.
Then went to sign a contract over at the janitor position office.
Then mum's workplace. Then went to town to buy this english book for my brother. And back to mum's workplace to give it to her to bring it home.
And then I went to my workplace! My workplace!
It was my first day at my new job. I was so anxious! Hopefully tomorrow I will be calmer. I hope I can get through this week without any massive anxiety attacks over there. Once I got to working I calmed down. I mean yeah I took a shit ton of pills but whatevs.
And then my bike broke. I dunno what happened. The chain is fucked up. Will go to the bike shop tomorrow to get it fixed.
Plus I have my psychologist appoitment tomorrow. Ugh. So much stuff again.

I cannot tell you how much it made me smile

My day was made!
Lasr satUrdat I sent a letter to the... national road services or whatever it's called, saying how a bus stop's bench is broken and asked them if they were gonna fix it. Today I came to mum's place AND IT WAS FIXED!!! I cannot tell you how much it made me smile :)

Plus today I had a "test day" at Kendra cleaning service office. Think I finally landed a job. Will get a phone call later this week. And if all goes well I start next week. Eek!

she can have fuckers around all day

Okay, Ilme still has guests over. For 12 hours now. So she can have fuckers around all day and I can't bring one over for a quick shag?

That's impolite

Shit, I wanna go and have a bath or take a shower but Ilme's got guests. It would be kinda impolite to walk around just in my towel. Ugh. They've been here for about 7 hours now. Why don't they realize they're overstaying their welcome. You don't stay at a person's place for that long! That's impolite.

For the last three days I've been going to mum's workplace to help her clean the store. I really hope she'll get a new job soon. She so hates the current one.
And next week I'll have a sort of a test day myself for this janitor position. I hope I won't get anxiety and can do the job.

diseases

Shit. I had a tick in me today. Hopefully I won't get any diseases. I don't think I've ever had a tick. I think I felt when it bit me. It was this tiny sharp pain. I removed it straight away when I felt it. At least I hope it just bit me then and not ages before. It was still little though. Ugh.

summer walks

Had out first barbecue this year. Then me and mum went to walk the dogs. Yeah, we sang all loud and proud and off. But it was so much fun.
I like summer walks. Winter ones are not fun, you just hurry out and hurry in just to get done with it but in summer you get to enjoy the walk.

"Why don't you want to do anything?"

Ugh, I really cannot stand Meghan Trainor. She sings about skinny shaming and frigidity. I just hate the song No so so so much. Plus it sounds very very old.

Yeah and today I worked all day on bushes and shit and then my mother asks me, "Why don't you want to do anything?" Like wtf!? I just worked on bushes all day!!!

TS242015