it's evening and I don't like it

Ugh it's evening and I don't like it. The last two nights at mum's have been terrible. I dunno if it's insomnia or whatever but I keep waking up feeling sick several times during the night. I've only slept for about 4 hours in the last two days.
I hope tonight I can sleep cause I really don't wanna go back on Mirtazapiin.

change the station

I work at a shop as a janitor. And they play Sky Plus in it cause the stuff they sell has ads on that radio. And I do enjoy listening to music when cleaning. But I think I gotta stop listening to the radio. Like I only work like two hours a day and I'm fucking sick of the songs they play! The just keep repeating the same ones over and over.
I'm at my mum's now and my brother's playing the radio. I thought at work okay maybe they only play those songs at this time but now I'm here and they play exactly the same songs! Oh god! I told my brother to change the station.

They're... crazy bitches

So there used to be a saying about men "All the good ones are taken".
Then I think it turned into "All the cute ones are gay".
And now I find myself saying "All the cute and good ones are single but fathers". And I don't want no baby daddy. I really don't care what his relationship is like with the kid or the mother, just N! O! If a woman  has a baby she thinks she owns the dude who fucked her and got her pregnant for all of eternity for all of his possessions, emotional, physical, material, mental, whatever. I don't wanna deal with those crazy bitches. They're... crazy bitches.

I've HAD ENOUGH

Okay, I really need a new place to live. Ilme is driving me insane!! Every morning I get up the first thing, THE FIRST THING, she says is "are you going to the store?", implying she wants something from there, or "will you go to the basement?", implying she wants something from there or wants me to drop something off there, or "will you go to Asta's place real quick?", again to get something or drop something off.
I've HAD ENOUGH!!! Like I can't even have a man over without her giving out to me and then she has the audacity to want stuff from me!?!?! Like bitch no!!!
I couldn't give less fucks about her fucking thank yous even if I tried.
I want to leave her in a state of dispear when I leave. She's so fucking controlling and bossy, she won't survive without me. I doubt she will find someone to run errands for her cause other people might not be a s fucking tolerant as me.

a little flatter

My supervisor told me today I looked leaner than before. Good stuff. I haven't restricted my diet or worked out but I have lost about 3 kilos. My belly does look a little flatter.

we got this bad boy out

So this weekend we had guests from Finland, Moonika and her daughter Kalli. We also made apple juice.

On saturday I gathered all the apples and sorted the bad ones from the good ones.

On sunday we got this bad boy out. This purees the apples.

This is the press. You use the ridged trays (put them on top of each other), put pieces of cloth on top of the tray and smear the pureed apples on it, then wrap it up, do it again. When you've used up all the trays and cloths, you twist the thingy on top and ot presses the trays together and apple juice starts flowing out of the spout into a vessel.
Then you add some sugar to the juice and bring it almost to boil, then bottle it.

so irritating

I know I'm not the benchmark for playing the Sims. Like, I play pirated copies for fuck's sake. But it grinds my gears so much when people use mods and CC and then run to the forums asking for help when some of their shits is not working or not doing what it's supposed to do properly. Like, bitch! You have thrid party shit in your game, don't go to the original game content forum to whine about your pseudo problems. Get rid of the bullshit in your game that wasn't supposed to be there in the first place! I cannot believe how selfish and stupid those people are! Ughhh, so irritating.

Sucks

Well, this summer has been weird. It's been mostly cold and rainy. And when we had warm weather, it was too hot and humid. No normal dry heat.
It's raining right now... and I gotta go to work in half an hour. Sucks.

the middle of nowhere

Oh my god, what a day it was. Was at my mum's over the weekend. Which reminds me, now it's the sad time of the year where I can't go to mum's place after work on fridays cause it's too dark.
Anyway... so I came back to town today from mum's place. Yeah my bike's tyre went flat before Luunja and I fucking had to walk to Tartu which to my house is about 14 kilometres. I started coming from mum's house around two and got home right before five on bike it takes me about an hour and 40 minutes). Ate cottage cheese and then rushed to the bike shop to get the tyre changed. Then went to work.
Shit, the backs of my knees were killing me.
I'm alright now though.
It's the second time my bike breaks down in the middle of nowhere.

it's something I can do

So I went to see Finding Dory today. I survived! Things didn't go that smoothly though. My brother's a proper chowderhead.
Like for about a week I've been telling him the film was shown in Ekraan cinema. I told him so many times that let's meet at 12 outside the cinema cause the film starts at 12:15.
So today, when I was already watching the film my brother rings me and asks what time the film starts (the film had been on for almost half an hour already). I asked him where he was and he said Tasku (where the cinema Cinamon is at). Like fuck! How the hell did he forget the place and time!? I had been going on about to him for days.
Anyway, he and his gf showed up and we watched the film.

Man I didn't get anxiety at all. I mean I took Diazepam drops but still. I really wanna go see something at the cinema again! Too bad it's so expensive. But at least now I know it's something I can do.

all Ireland-y

So living in Ireland was all fine and dandy, except the health care system. And now it looks like my shrink stuff is becoming all Ireland-y. The communication and consideration sucks BIG TIME! Plus they're scamming me to get me pay loads of money for nothing. I fucking HATE it.
Will have to go and see the doc on the 10th to get my benefits sorted. Ugh thank god I don't have to go there more often. Like today I got a call from there and they were like "yeah the consultation is 50 euros". Like, bitch no! I've gone to my shrink for YEARS. I know how much it is. And it definitely ISN'T 50 euros. It's five! And then they just HAD to remind me that I have to pay 20 euros for the time I CANCELLED my appointment. Like fuck on. I'm not paying for it. I don't give a shit.

TS482016

I hope I'll last

Yay! So as of now I'll be going to the cinema with Lauri on saturday. We're going to see Finding Dory. The only crappy part is, it'll be in estonian and 3D. I hope I'll last in the cinema with my anxiety. :)