I don't understand this

Okay, I'm pretty sure I'm just PMSing hard. Had some pink-y stuff going on before. Thank goodness.
Everything sucks at the moment. This fucking weekend is so stupid!
The whole laptop thing.
Then my bike stand-spoke thing.
My fucking wellbeing.
And I bet I will have a shit ton of problems at work tomorrow.

Why is it such a major thing that I have a new laptop? What is it the universe's problem that I have a new laptop? What the fuck else am I gonna do at home alone? Ugh, I don't understand this. It's stressing me out.
Oh yeah and I wanna see the universe shit on me for buying this caramel cake, to pamper myself and make myself feel better, when I have hardly any money for regular food. I bet something got fucked up with my pension and stuff and I won't even get money on friday. Fuck!