So... a cute thing

So... a cute thing. My periods started a week early. Why? Cause of the same damn reason I had them twice in november. My damn pills! Trying to go off of them, precisely. Eff!

Other than that, went to see my therapist today we were supposed to do my disability/pension thing again for me to gain 9 euros monthly. Damn, my ID card codes are... were missing. I found ones but they were my expired card's codes. Had to go to the bank to get new codes. Will do the disability thing next week.

Oh and my Hayao Miyazaki anime cup is in Tartu, called a post office today to send it to another post office that is closer to me. Ahhhh!

Oh and the other day I had a dream about this little girl who had some degenerative disease. There was like a fundraiser for her treatment. I remember thinking I was poor but gave the girl 50 euros. Then the little girl came to hug me cause of that, I wanted her away from me cause I was so scared I'd contract the disease. I just wanted my money back. And then yesterday, after I had forgotten about it, I found my last 50 euro note of the money my dad's fam gave to me for my birthday. Yay! I'm rich!

TS1812917

weak ass bitch's second coming

Okay, I dunno what my shrink is on but today she said it's okay to do 7,5mg one day and 10mg the next. Talking about escitalopram here. Today has been okay so far so I decided to do the pill thing. Maybe it won't be as extreme. The doc wasn't too empathetic about it when I talked to her. She just said kinda like "what did you expect". Well not literally but I know she meant that. I didn't really expect this extreme symptoms. Okay, weak ass bitch's second coming.

call me a weak ass bitch but...

Okay, call me a weak ass bitch but I'm upping my escitalopram back on to 10mg. Yesterday was so bad and the night was even worse. I kept waking up with a fright non stop, shooting up in bed. And my appetite is out of control. Like I literally eat a ton right and am completely full. Then after only about 2 hours I'm starving again. I don't give a fuck about weight gain I'm worried about feeling sick cause it's not the normal kind of hunger, it's insane hunger where you feel sick in stomach and in the rest of the body and can't actually eat cause you're that hungry. Plus the headaches then and anxiety. I'm done for now. Wanna get back to feeling normal. Once I'm that, I'll try to go off Olansapiin cause it felt more normal eventhough I had more withdrawal symptoms but they weren't as bad. Yeah and when I wanna go off Escitalopram again, I'll do it differently, 7,5mg one day and 10mg the next, not 7,5 every day. Doctor said doing it like that confuses the body but that's how I got off Mirtazapine and that's how I feel comfortable so...

do not laugh

toy with one's emotions

Okay, I think I also have a toothache now. Great!
Also a big fuck you to Facebook and Tumblr. They keep advertizing these beautiful cheap dresses and merch. I wanna buy the stuff so bad. If I had a fulltime job I could afford the stuff, the dresses are only like 12 bucks a piece. And I would buy all the Hayao Miyazaki film merch.
They just really know how to toy with one's emotions with those beautiful things :D