okay!?!??!?!

Okay, I need to rant some more. Like my new therapist is nice and all. We get along. But can everyone please stop saying that I'm not losing weight cause I'm going off Olanzapine!?!??!
Okay, I'm a lazy non active fuck who eats shitty crap. I admit that. But! I've done that my whole life! And before I ever went on any kind of pill, I was eating shit, not moving a fucking thing and I was fucking skinny okay!?!? I could eat whatever I wanted, how ever much I wanted, when and wherever I wanted, I never gained weight. Okay!??!?!  I was a lazy shit eating fuck before going on any pill and I was a fucking skinny bitch!!! Okay!?!??!
Then I went on Mirtazapine. I gained about 5 kilos.
Escitalopram was the second pill but it had no effect on my weight.
Then! I went on Olanzapine. And I gained 25+ kilos. I did not, NOT, get any lazier or started eating more crap. It wa simpossible to do cause I was eating so poorly already before going on pills. Nothing changed about my lifestyle and eating habits. How the fuck?!?!?!!? How the fuck can anyone say it's my diet and laziness causing me to gain weight!?!??! It's the fucking pill okay!?!?!? Okay!??!?!?!
And now for the last maybe like year and half  I've been losing weight, more prominently since last year around this time. About year and half ago I weighed about 84 kilos. The heaviest I've ever been. And today I weighed 64 kilos. My diet has not changed in the last year and half. I do not move more than ever before. It's the fucking  pill okay!??!?!?! Cause last year I started going off Olanzapine.
And my damn therapists are telling me it's my diet and lifestyle. It's not a thing, okay!??!?!?! It's the fucking pill!!!!!!! I know my body!!!!!!!!!! Like how many times do I have to say this!??!?! I FUCKING KNOW MY BODY!!!!! It's the pill that made me gain weight and it's the only, THE ONLY, THE SOLE reason why I'm losing weight now. I'm still the same lazy fuck with bad eating habits I was before I started taking all the pills and was still a skinny bitch. I am a natural skinny person okay!?!??! Why is it so hard to accept and understand that some people have naturally fast metabolism and the food they eat doesn't affect their weight?!?!?!? Like fuuuuuuuckckck!!! I'm so sick of people shitting on my natural body functions. Like, I don't give a fuck, FUCK, how others' bodies work. Mine works like mine. I do not gain weight naturally. That's it. It's a thing. The noly reason I gained weight on the pills is cause they alter the hormonal levels in the body, slow down the metabolism.
Now that I've been lowering the dosage of the pill, the body works more like its natural old self and I'm losing weight cause my damn metabolism is picking up speed again, the hormones are getting back to their natural levels. It's in my fucking DNA okay!?!??!?! The food I eat won't change that!

Like my mum and the therapist are like, don't lose anymore weight, don't go overboard. Bitches! I'm not doing anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Literally nothing!!!!!!!! Yeah I drink smoothies but they don't substitute any meals, it's all extra! I don't work out, I hardly ever fucking move at all. Most of the time, literally, I'm in bed on my laptop sitting on my ass, literally, and snacking on something, cookies or something, literally all of it. I don't watch what I eat, I eat whenever the fuck I want, however much I want. The only thing I do when it comes to food is that I try to cook food myself but not cause it's fucking healthier or shit or I wanna cook low calorie foods, no, I do it cause it's cheaper. I'm a poor ass bitch, okay!??! And I know fuck all about calories!
If they keep pushing it, and I know they will, then one day I will blow up at them. I'm so sick of people telling me, I gained weight cause I'm old or a woman or cause I don't move or eat crap. Yes it I am and do all those things, but the only, THE ONLY, THE SOLE reason for my weight gain and loss is Olanzapine. Get that through your heads please!!!!!! Or just stop telling me your opinions and guesses on how and why I'm gaining or losing weight.
Fuck!

edit: also I would like to ask anyone who says I'm a lazy shit eating fuck and the pill doesn't make you gain weight, when the pill is prescribed to the patients at the eating disorders clinic to make them gain weight, do they all get lazy and bad eating habits in that short amount of time they're at the hospital? Do they all get significantly older and more womanly all of a sudden when they're there? Is Olanzapine some kinda magic pill, that makes you a lazy shit eating old woman? Oh and when you go off the pill, you suddenly stop being a lazy shit eating old woman? And you just coincidentally happen to lose weight?