Going back on Xanax.

Going back on Xanax.
As long as I'm not going back to hospital, I'm good.
The psychiatrist told me I can either take Xanax or take a higher dose of Mirtazapine.
If I took higher dose of that (half a tablet in the morning and a whole in the evening) I'd be sleeping all the time.
And I've had really really bad experience with Xanax before so I made sure the doctor would do a proper withdrawal on me. I dunno if I talked about it on my blog but once when I was going off Xanax I had about 4, 5 day long panic attack and it wasn't nice.

What or who does a girl have if not her mother?

Just had the best sex talk with my mother. What or who does a girl have if not her mother?
I just cannot understand how the young girls on my forum can't talk to their mothers about stuff.
Like...health stuff. It's is forming some sort of a bond but it can be done without the bond aswell. Like, how can a girl talk to her mother about food, money, tv shows, homework, the colour of the wallpaper, doing laundry, whatever and not health? Or periods for that matter. Like, what is so unearthly about periods? Every person has a body and health, every single human being on earth. So why the fuck is it so unrealistically hard to talk about it? Especially to mother? Surely every mother on earth brings up her children cause she has to and puts a lot of hate, intolerance, indifference and misunderstanding into it cause...what else has she not to care about other than her child's wellbeing?


Plus, just started watching You Again and bam! they bring up my..so called life philosophy: you cannot control the things that happen to you in life but you can control the way you react to them. I mean there is no truer saying. All sorts of shit can happen but if you don't think of it as shit then it really is not shit. Simple as that. And I've handled the subject before, in my earlier posts, where I talked about bullying. I said that it's impossible to stop the violence cause it's so deep in the mankind's nature, the only way to deal with it is to work on the "victim's" perception.

It was just a regular scene

Got my biology exam book. Now I know what to learn for the exam. Everything.
Ordered the geography and chemistry exam books lat night. Ughhhhh...I'm dreading chemistry so bad.
I won't even study for the english exam. I know I'm not perfect but I can do it on the secondary school level so I should be good.

Oh and I bought this stress tea to lessen my anxiety. And I learned that you cannot put honey in tea that is about 40 degrees or above hot. If it's that hot or hotter then the honey won't work cause the environment's temperature is too hot for the honey's good bits to survive.

Saw Black Swan last night. Well it was rather gross at times. I wasn't that blown away by it though. It reminded me of The Soloist which I liked better, maybe cause cello is closer to me than dancing. And what I liked about The Soloist was that his "mad state" was very much brought out and handled. Handled with naturality while Black Swan was just a "sublime moment" type of film. Mila Kunis is super hot though and her character was quite likable. Plus, at first and throughout most of the film I thought the dance teacher was a dick but he was so right about the girl's passion thing, she was too timid. I liked how he gave out to her for apologizing and her being a wimp. That's about it though. Oh and I have no idea why there was so much hassle about the girls' sex scene....erm....what was so hot about that? It was just a regular scene.

Oh and while I'm at it...the articles I read about Kevin McHale's drooling over women at the Grammy Awards - he so needs to get laid.

anxiety's back

Ugh, my anxiety's back. Hopefully I don't have to go back to hospital. :(

Glee Comeback review

Oh here we go with singing saving lives.
If it's so goddamn powerful why don't yous stop global warming. And why in the world would the kids in Glee be against footballers and Sue joining the club? Again, aren't they supposed to love everyone or something?
Plus, if I were Sue I would have chucked the Sasquatch through the fucking wall and kill that bitch.
Oh and a week at the glee club will cure depression? Damn, I must join then and beat the crap out of all of them, except Kevin, I'll shag the crap out of him....that is the only way I can imagine a person getting rid of depression in the club.

Oh and what clothes are they wearing? Are they from the nineties or the catwalk cause normal people don't dress like that.

Oh and yes! I have yet more reasons to despise Glee - the making fun of Bieber. Oh my god, like Glee is so much cooler than Biebs, I mean it's got so much meaning and emotion and is the truest fucking thing in the world! It cures depression for Bieb's sake!

Oh and the Sasquatch bitch going, "This is actually a really good song and I'm a cunt" (okay, I definitely heard her say the last bit) shows the idiocy of Glee even more. Prejudiced fucks - crew, cast, fans - congradulations!

Ughhhhhh, kissing Sasquatch! Get the fuck off my laptop screen!

Were the orgasming girls supposed to be funny during Somebody To Love? It made me want to rip their clits off so the bitches would never know how truly crappy their men really are.

Okay, how can they say/sing "damn" on Glee? What about the target audience - all the three year olds who watch the show?

LOL, hate is not the point of Glee club. Okay, whatever yous call it - nature, essence - the thought stays the same.

Oh, now Glee and singing cures cancer aswell? Wow! Okay, all doctros retire! Or learn to sing.