this dark season

So it's the beautiful day of Matthew Gray Gubler's birthday. And it's also the day I fell sick for the first time during this dark season, autumn and winter. For real. Not completely yet but my nose is runny and have shoulder aches.
Ugh, fuck March.

Didn't think I had it in me

Wow, what a day it was. Didn't think I had it in me to pull off a day like this.
Got up at 10:30 to meet my stepmum. Was gonna be with her til she had her doctor at 12:30 but I decided I was gonna go with her to the doctor's office.
When we met up we chatted a little outside at the bus station. The sun was nice but the wind was chilly so we went inside the bus station. We went to the cafe. Can't remember what she ordered but she bought me french fries. Had them with ketchup. Fuck yes! I ate outside my house!
Then we went to see her doc. Everything was fine.
Then we went to Ristiisa Pubi cause she was hungry. I was too scared to get the special cause I didn't think I'd be able to eat it all. Got just fries again. The bus station ones were better cause they had seasoning. I ate. But I got really dizzy, light headed and it was a little hard to swallow but I ate most of my fries.
Then we went to the pharmacy and bought a thing for my stepmum and a nose spray for me. She paid for both of my fries and the nose spray! Plus she gave me 20 euros!
Then we went to Kaubamaja. And she bought me new winter boots!!! They were like 39 euros with discount.

I like them. I like how cute they look when I don't have to tuck my trousers on top of them. I can tuck the trousers in and it looks good.
Then we wandered around a little and at 14:45 I had to go to Tartu Loodusmaja for my work meeting. I dunno, it was this weird meeting, not sure why it was held. We toured to building which I loved!! I used to go to this house when I was a little girl cause I was really into biology, plants and animals.
Anyway, these are the first clips I got from the day:

I think I found out what my own cacti are called now.

 Mine look just like that. I got the name of it:

It should be echinopsis eyriesii. I'm pretty sure it's the ones I have. Now I can read up about them and make them grow and flourish!

Also I got this pic of herbs:

And this little winter garden:

We took pics down there. Like official ones. Oh and there were turtles in that water, with three of them basking under a warm lamp.

Plus other cuties:

Turtle doves. Apparently they were the bird of the year or something. And they had a little baby in the nest:

 This bunny was freely hopping around there.

And these mice like beings cuddling up.

Oh and then we had cake:

Yeah I ate outside of my house three times and was around people!
And then I went to work. I never even took Diazepam. Woo!

So... it's March

So... it's March. What can you expect from it? Snow and shit. What do you actually get? Snow and shit!
Ughhh, March sucks balls! It just stormed and snowed the whole night and I gotta go to work and clean up the mess on the floors! I never liked March anyway and now that I'm working as a janitor I hate it even more. Can't wait til April.

Yeah, titty situation is better, less soreness and tenderness.

Still not sure whether I get to keep my job or not.

Also, don't know a thing about my benefits, whether I will get more money or I will lose everything.

titty

And in other news, just to document it, my left boob is troubling me.
In February a few days before my periods I got discomfort, pain and tenderness in my left boob. Thought it was weird since I never get sore breasts before periods. Not once have I ever had sore boobs in my life. And it was just one tit.
Then my period started and the pain kinda subsided.
Then about three or four days ago I got the pain back and I'm not anywhere near my periods. Plus, if it was a hormonal thing, wouldn't both of my titties hurt not just one!?
Talked to mum and stepmum, stepmum said they would probably sned me to get mammography done. Yeah, 1. I don't want my sore titty squeezed in any way, 2. My titties are so small, mammography is impossible anyway.
Yeah, we'll see how this plays out.

making magic

Was just watching Harmony Nice's make up tutorial video. Fuck, make up can be soooooo amazing. I like watching pics of nice make up or beautiful videos of people applying it and making magic.
It's so easy to be a girl these days when it comes to makeup, you have sooo many different tutorials for different looks.
But, it's just not for me. I hate it when I have makeup on. I feel like I'm dirty and wanna wash my face asap. I don't feel pretty or anything. The only time that looks make a difference for me is right after shower/bath cause then I know my face is clean, I'm clean all over and I feel happy and confident. A clean face/body is all I need, I don't want shit covering it lol.
Like on friday, mum stayed overnight at my place. She asked me if I had any makeup remover. Seriously!?!? You asking me that!!?! I haven't worn slightest bit of make up in about three years. Not one single thing on my face.