Well shit...I think I know myself better, thank you very much

Ugh! Complain post alert!
So I got talking to my mother about my anxiety issues. She said she thinks it's cause of my marriage stuff that happened when I lived in Ireland. I got caught up in a fictive marriage business and yes it was unpleasant but it had absolutely no effect on me whatsoever. Emotionally or physically or mentally. Well, I actually felt a little disappointed with myself since I was about to toss all of my beliefs to the wind but other than that it had no effect on me. And I know for a fact it's not why I have health problems now.
I told her I have issues cause of her alcohol overdose that happened when I was a kid. Now that had a MASSIVE effect on me. And because of that I've been terrified of vomiting, ever since that night.
And this fear is what keeps fucking with my head even now. I can't do shit cause I'm afraid I'll get sick. And the mother said it's not the case. Well shit...I think I know myself better, thank you very much.

Ugh...yeah...was outside for the most of the day working. Apparently the weather will be even warmer tomorrow so we're having a barbecue. Yay! I just hope I won't get anxiety and can eat.

Here we go again

So I'm at my mother's place. Here we go again with the feeling sick business. Blahhh, I'm so over it.
But I gotta say I'm loving my new mouse!!! Ahhh. :)

a new mouse

Ahhhh...I got a new mouse for my laptop. My mother's man bought it for me. I rang him during the day and complained about my mouse. I could only move my old one on this sticker I had on my laptop but the new one moves everywhere. Yay!

And my mother herself got me new runners:

I would have loved these Rieker shoes but these will do aswell.

a tone lighter

Well... I dyed my hair. This pic is black and white but seriously...my hair is not that blond. It's like a tone lighter.

Been poppin' pills

Blah. What horrible weekend! I started feeling really sick yesterday and it has carried on today aswell. Like, sick in my stomach sick. Been poppin' pills and shit and nothing helps. Must be the anxiety.