Paid for

Well, the ticket is paid for.
"Bf" paid for it.
Then had one of his weird moods again.
Probably cause I have to pack my stuff today cause some people will be leaving the country before me and they can take some of my stuff with them.
Anyways, I have loads of stuff.
Have to give away loads of clothes and leave stuff behind.
I'm leaving my computer for the "bf".
Dunno what to do with all of my CDs and DVDs.

...back to packing now.

Nerve-wracking to say the least.

Well, looks like I am going back to my homecountry.
Nerve-wracking to say the least.
Have to go and get some things sorted now.
Just in case.
Then enjoy the last few days I have in Ireland.

Doesn't sound too bad, but I dunno...

Hmmmh.
Talking to Dad online.
He wants me to go and live at their place.
Study over in my homecountry and all.
Doesn't sound too bad, but I dunno...

I know what I thought and I said it. And I acted that way

Okay, I'm sure I pissed someone off yesterday, but what can I do.
Like, I said he can come over for a little while, just for a walk.
So he came over. For 4 hours.
I've never spend that much time with anyone in one go.
So what's there to be pissed off about?
And I very clearly said, several times, that when I'm in my house I want to be alone and that I'll be playing the sims.
When I let him come around I don't mean it in let's-shag-all-day kind of way.
When I say a little walk, I mean a 40 minute walk or so and that's all, nothing else.
It's not my problem what he thinks, I know what I thought and I said it.
And I acted that way, if he got pissed off it's his own fault for not listening to me.

Anyway, just got a text off my landlord.
He will be coming over later on.
I hope it's not for rent cause I don't even have money for food.
I only have 30 euro for the next10 days.
Then hopefully I will get some money.
Not this week, but the week after, on Thursday I'm seeing the man about my money business.
He said he's gonna have to pay me some money til Social gets sorted.

The someone who got pissed off yesterday said I can ask him for money if I'm stuck.
But there's no I'll do it.
I don't want to owe him anything.

Dunno how it works out.

Anyways, I had to replay some bits in my sims game cause just as I got it working it fucked up again.
And I finally decorated the house properly.
Well almost.
Some rooms look weird, but... meh.

Erm... yeah, that's all.
It's raining today. Boo!

No, not like the princess, it's like the goddess

So I started reminiscing old times yesterday.

I was just chilling out at my Dad's place when I was about 16 or 17.
Back then I was really into metal music and rockier stuff.
You know like some angsty teen.
One band that I listened to was Godsmack.
So there I was chilling out, surfing the net on my mobile phone.
I decided to look up some Godsmack's lyrics and interviews.
I came over this interview with Sully Erna.
He was talking of this religion called Wicca.
I had never heard of it.
I cannot remember the exact quote but as much as I do remember I believe he said something like that the religion is about creativity. Or like celebrating the arts or something.
Anyway, whatever he said, I liked what I was reading.

So I looked up this Wicca thing on my mobile.
And when I found out it had to do with Roman and Greek mythology and the gods, I was hooked.
Especially cause my name's Diana.
And I've always thought that normally when some sleazy people ask for my name and I tell them what it is, they're like "Oh, like the princess" , then in my head I'm like "No, not like the princess, it's like the goddess".
I'm not sure why my parents went for this name, but here I am stuck with it for my whole life.

Anyway, I was reading about the religion and was very interested in it.
Then as I knew back then I thought there must be some horribly clouding "rules" when you want to follow the religion.
I found the Wiccan Rede.
And the idea of the religion is that do whatever you want as long as you're not hurting anyone, including yourself.
I was seriously surprised when I saw it, cause my motto at the time was exactly that. Pluss "and don't embarrass your family".
I was really very into it just as soon as I first learned about it.

After reading about it on my phone, I got my father's wife to go to the library with me (I didn't have the library card myself).
I got books about the Roman and Greek gods and mythology.
While reading I would write down all the gods and other figures that were mentioned and an explanation who they were and what they're purpose and impact was.

The gods I found most interesting were, well obviously Diana, Apollon, Zeus, Aradia, the Titan Kronos and the Grace Euphreyne.

I don't think I ever actually called myself Wiccan, but I sure agreed with a lot that was in the religion.
And that what i liked about it - I didn't have to change my mind or myself and my beliefs, the religion just fit into my life and me.

The only thing that I didn't like was that I believe depending on what path of the religion you choose you "have to be" vegeterian or just one of those people who really have to limit their eating somehow.

And I never supported marriage. But if I were to get married I'd do it the pagan way.
The trial marriage makes so much sense.
And I'd love to do the jumping over the broom thing and just to add some of my nationality in to it, I'd jump over a bonfire aswell. :D

So as much as I agree with everything that the religion is about I wouldn't call myself Wiccan. If anything, maybe eclecting Wiccan or just pagan.
I just believe in energy. I believe in it in a scientific way.
And I do love a lot of things to do with the Earth.

I know I sit on the inernet for too long and that's bad for the Earth and I'm too lazy to put recycable things into the special bin - that's why I wouldn't really call myself anything or anyone - but I'm really into anything green. That's why I want to go and do biology. I want to do so much I cannot pinpoint anything in particular.

Yeah, that's just what I remembered yesterday.

I also remembered this one time when I was talking to a friend about Wicca.
He said that I'm just calling myself one cause I want to be popular or something and that it's really not a religion is just a bunch of people who like to show off.
Then he told me what he believed in.
He said him and some of his friends (9 to be precise) had a motto that goes like this: "Have fun every second cause you might die at any time".
So I asked him how was that - the 10 people motto -  "more legit" than Wicca that has a lot more followers.
So I asked what his motto was called.

He said it doesn't have a name, you just believe in it.
I guess every religion is like some kind of motto that has a name so people can define themselves more easily.
So I went ahead and said, "I know what you're religion or motto is called. It's called puberty."
I believe he kicked me in the legs for that.
Then I said, "If it makes you feel any better then it's not just you who's hit puberty but all your 9 friends aswell".
That resulted in a smack over the head.
:D
I thought it was funny and I still think it's funny.

But I think that's actually one of the reasons I don't follow any religion.
Cause people change.
And if people want to call Wicca as Neo-Paganism then I guess it's okay.
I don't think there's anything wrong with renewing a religion, more so in ideas and points of it, traditions of celebrating it can stay the same, just to honour the base of it all.

I wasn't trying to preach or anything, just put in my two cents.