Mental

That awkward moment when I didn't get the joke

Dear shit. Where do I start?
Okay. There is so much misunderstanding when it comes to depression and anxiety. And I think it comes from the word mental. Mental health. And it's symptoms of mood changes, behavioural changes and maybe even habitual changes. Mental kinda implies that this part of health, body, being is abstract. And abstract leaves so much wiggle room for people's own misinformed and warped interpretation of those two, depression and anxiety. When in reality, mental is a brain disorder. The brain is not working properly. It's a physcial thing, either the chemicals are inbalanced or the receptors are not working properly or you have "odd" brain acitvity. And that causes the person's mood changes which result in behavioural and habitual changes. The so called mental changes. It's the same when you have a cold and you feel poorly and stay in bed and sleep and don't wanna eat or go out. Besides, as opposed to mental symptoms, depression and anxiety have a ton of physical symptoms aswell.
So suggesting to "just snap out of it" or "be positive" is not gonna make the person healthy. You don't say "snap out of it" to a person who has cancer or, as a lot of people like to say, someone who is missing a limb. It would sound incredibly ridiculous to say it to those people. The cancer won't go away and the person won't grow a limb cause of it. Yes, I might have my limbs but I do not have a properly working brain. So suggesting those ridiculous things is absolutely annoying and useless. It just shows you don't know at all what I'm going through or how to support me (if that is you goal, most of the times people just shrug off mental illnesses as nothings so they just look like idiots doing so).
Yehh, my two cents on this. Enough with the abstract.

How!?

You know when you sleep funny and wake up with a sore neck or back or a limb or something. Well, I woke up with a sore index finger. How!?

Beksiński

This Pole redeems.

I don't want no second hand excitement and love

Oh yeah, today at work I found out my crush there has a girl. Oh well.
And I really cannot stand men who have kids wanting to get with me. No.
1.Cause your baby mama is a crazy bitch who will stick her damn nose into my relationship where she has no business. And she will manipulate this shit out of my relationship with her damn kid.
2.I plan on having my own kids and I want my man to have the first experience of it with me. I wanna be first. I want my baby to be his first baby. I don't want no second hand excitement and love for my kid from the dad, it has to be genuine and first.
No baby daddies for me please!

pressure

Ugh. So I'm feeling better today withdrawal wise. Other than that, ugh, as I stated.
So my workplace is gonna be audited and everything has to be CLEAN! This puts pressure on me. So far I haven't got any instructions on how to perform a more thorough cleaning of the place. I wasn't that bothered about it til I heard the co-worker from the garage say they're moving furniture and shit over there to clean. Ugh. I'm afraid those auditing people won't be happy with my cleaning and then the car shop people won't be happy with me and then the cleaning company won't be happy and I'll be fired. Fuck! I feel like my work is representing the car shop in this case and it puts a tremendous pressure on me and I don't do well under pressure. They'll come by on the 31st of January and 2nd of February. Next monday is gonna be a madhouse. I'll be cleaning all night! And I will take a buttload of Valium to calm myself. Fuck, the christmas party thing was nothing compared to this.