Doesn't go unnoticed

Okay, saw I'm taking Olanzapine every 4 days now. My body's responding. Doesn't go unnoticed. Unfortunately. So far it's not unbearable. I'm just clenching my jaw again. Started a couple of days ago. Hopefully nothing else/worse will show.
Yeah, still at my old place. Probably will be moving on Friday.

such an ignorant fucking cunt

Shit, I feel even worse now. I googled about my cactus. To help it. And I came across this:

The bigger cactus I have had this little dark fluffy thing on it and I picked it off!!!!!! Cause I thought it was a dead baby. Shit! I'm a such an ignorant fucking cunt!!!! Fuck!!!!! It was gonna be a fucking flower!!!!!! Shit I hate how fucking stupid I am!!! My poor cacti have to suffer cause of me. Makes me wanna cry. I just want the best for my babies and I keep screwing them up!!
I can literally feel physical pain in my chest from my stupidity and the hurt I've caused to my plants.
Fuck!
Like I'm in panic mode right now. I know my plants are not well, well the little one anyway, and I wanna do something eventhough I know (but what the fuck do I really know anyway!?) that the best thing to do right now, is just let them be.

pull through, little guy

Okay, sad news. I think I killed my little cactus. It's still very limp and crooked. I touched it. The needles don't hurt, they're super soft and the cactus is squishy. Ugh, I feel so bad. I only wanted to take care of it and wanted the best for it. I have three sticks holding it up right now. Please pull through, little guy! :(

Yeah and I was supposed to take most of my things to the new place yesterday. Mum and her man came in his car but it was pissin' out so we didn't. They just took the bags with stuff I didn't need and took it to their place.

Oh and yesterday I was so tired after work. Came home, bathed, cooked, ate and went to sleep. When normally before going to sleep I like daydream I guess of like "video clips" and "sound", then yesterday the video and sound machine in my brain went on a fritz. I only saw still pics and the sound slurred. Fell asleep very quickly.

"Summer" 2017

Okay. This is a video I took on June 26th this year:

Like, if it was a thunderstorm I would understand but...hail?

Also, this happened later that day:

Taken through a window. Pretty prominent.

the enctrance to my room

Ahh, went to my new place today and got to talk to the girl that lives there. Thank goodness she's young. Seemed pretty normal and nice. I hope everyone will get along and that the owners won't be selling the place and that I can afford it.
Went out to the shops to see the prices of things I need for the place. Should manage somehow. I definitely need a good pan. Preferrably a wok pan, just something large and deep cause I like my stir fry type of things and need loads of space for the veg in a pan. And when they're still uncooked they take up so much space in the pan.
Ahh, I was so happy when I was in my new room today.
Also, I cannot lock my bike onto anything in the building. So I just gotta buy a sturdier lock and just lock the bike so you can't ride it. I hope no one will pick it up and put it in a van or something and ride off with it.
Anyhoo, here's some pic of my room:

 The door is the enctrance to my room.

 My bed and the balcony.

The desk and window.
From the balcony this is the view:

If you look to the left... looks green enough

And if you look to the right...this beautiful industrial looking roof

This is the view from the desk window. I see water! Have to go down there sometime. This dude was feeding birds there :)