Ugh, I wanna kill a gnat!
They're fucking everywhere! I can't do a thing outside.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
One day we all fall down forever
Nothing really matters in the end you know
All the worries severe
Don't be afraid for me my friend
One day we all fall down forever
All the worries severe
Don't be afraid for me my friend
One day we all fall down forever
Saturday, May 28, 2011
That's what you call a gay glee clubber
Source
Friday, May 27, 2011
I look foreign, like in every country
Well, today I went through my old photoalbum. Wow, I cannot believe I've been cute looking and smiley! Although I must say I have a very weird look. I look foreign, like in every country.
What lovely 80's hair!
Oh man, I remember that string. It was my fave. I even remember the time I didn't have it anymore and I was missing it.
That is such a great picture. I'm the little blondie on the right.
This I remember aswell. I was about two and my mother had bought me loadsa clothes and wanted me to try them on and I wasn't having any of it. I remember running into my parents' bedroom and crying on the bed and getting annoyed with my dad as he took the photo.
That's a Christmas tree behind me. I was too scared to stand on the chair so my mother had to hold my hand. Oh and this was the first time I learned how to do the sign with my hand.
Totally pissed off. Can't remember why but do remember the feeling.
This was done when my father was with his new wife. It's at their place and... for some reason I decided to put the Christmas decorations all over me. Don't I look fucking weird?!
So apparently I was friends with this one girl. I think she was called Kertu. And I think her dad hanged himself.
Ha! I can totally remember having a bath with her.
Ahahaaa, gotta love nose picking.
Heh, doesn't my mouth just look very unproportional to the rest of my face? I had cold sores at both ends of my mouth. But my mum's perm has gone smaller so that's a good thing.
Oh man, again, I remember the swing. I remember we had dark red curtains and I would close my eyes while swinging and open them slightly to peek at the dark red curtains. And one night my dad turned off all of the lights in the room and turned on this disco light machine thingy. So all I remember were the lights flickering and Black's Wonderful Life blasting out.
Oh and here's a little piece of music that totally fits these pics:
What lovely 80's hair!
Oh man, I remember that string. It was my fave. I even remember the time I didn't have it anymore and I was missing it.
That is such a great picture. I'm the little blondie on the right.
This I remember aswell. I was about two and my mother had bought me loadsa clothes and wanted me to try them on and I wasn't having any of it. I remember running into my parents' bedroom and crying on the bed and getting annoyed with my dad as he took the photo.
That's a Christmas tree behind me. I was too scared to stand on the chair so my mother had to hold my hand. Oh and this was the first time I learned how to do the sign with my hand.
Totally pissed off. Can't remember why but do remember the feeling.
This was done when my father was with his new wife. It's at their place and... for some reason I decided to put the Christmas decorations all over me. Don't I look fucking weird?!
So apparently I was friends with this one girl. I think she was called Kertu. And I think her dad hanged himself.
Ha! I can totally remember having a bath with her.
Ahahaaa, gotta love nose picking.
Heh, doesn't my mouth just look very unproportional to the rest of my face? I had cold sores at both ends of my mouth. But my mum's perm has gone smaller so that's a good thing.
Oh man, again, I remember the swing. I remember we had dark red curtains and I would close my eyes while swinging and open them slightly to peek at the dark red curtains. And one night my dad turned off all of the lights in the room and turned on this disco light machine thingy. So all I remember were the lights flickering and Black's Wonderful Life blasting out.
Oh and here's a little piece of music that totally fits these pics:
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Today I see myself as a child of time, but I may become a child of eternity
So yesterday was yet another crappy day.
I went to Tartu cause I was gonna see a therapist.
For whatever reason I got really bad anxiety. So me and my mum (I was at mother's workplace since my appointment was in the evening at 7) went to the hospital in hopes (or fears) of me being stuck in the madhouse again.Well, they didn't cause they had no vacant places. Hm.... ?
Yeah anyway, my anxiety was really really bad. Ikept telling my mother how I wanted to die. And I've been telling her that countless times and she always pushes it back. She says that kinda talk is stupid and she doesn't wanna hear it. She also says that it's her business cause she gave me life. Well, why doesn't she go ahead and live it for me then?! It's cause she can't. I should be able to do it. But since I'm not I don't wanna do it. And so I keep telling her I wanna die and I'm not waiting for anything to happen in my life. I've lost every kind of interest. I just wanna die. And when we got to the psychologist in the evening I told her I didn't wanna like... kill myself to hurt myself or get attention so people would take me more seriously. I said I really do want to die cause I've had enough of everything. I don't believe my health will get better and I have no interest in getting better anyway and I don't wanna do anything to get better, I just wanna die and that's final.
I think I've talked about it in my blog earlier but seriously, I don't understand how and why it's so hard for people to accept death. No one can avoid it, it has happened many many times before, it still happens now, in abundance and will happen in the future and not just people, to all living things. It's so natural. You just cannot deny it. Okay, I'm young, 25 and I haven't got the things out of life most people dream about and achieve and I have the life for it and a future with potential opportunities but I'm allowed to want what I want. And I want to die, I've accepted it.
And things have gone so bad that I can't even talk about things that seriously bother me. The anxiety is unbearable and I choose my right to choose, I choosemy choice in life - death. If I startedfighting against death aswell then my life would be a hundred times worse than it already is now. So by accepting death and being all for it right here and now makes me happy.
Anyway, I found this glorious article while surfing the petition site and it pretty much sums up my thoughts plus it's very well written:
I went to Tartu cause I was gonna see a therapist.
For whatever reason I got really bad anxiety. So me and my mum (I was at mother's workplace since my appointment was in the evening at 7) went to the hospital in hopes (or fears) of me being stuck in the madhouse again.Well, they didn't cause they had no vacant places. Hm.... ?
Yeah anyway, my anxiety was really really bad. Ikept telling my mother how I wanted to die. And I've been telling her that countless times and she always pushes it back. She says that kinda talk is stupid and she doesn't wanna hear it. She also says that it's her business cause she gave me life. Well, why doesn't she go ahead and live it for me then?! It's cause she can't. I should be able to do it. But since I'm not I don't wanna do it. And so I keep telling her I wanna die and I'm not waiting for anything to happen in my life. I've lost every kind of interest. I just wanna die. And when we got to the psychologist in the evening I told her I didn't wanna like... kill myself to hurt myself or get attention so people would take me more seriously. I said I really do want to die cause I've had enough of everything. I don't believe my health will get better and I have no interest in getting better anyway and I don't wanna do anything to get better, I just wanna die and that's final.
I think I've talked about it in my blog earlier but seriously, I don't understand how and why it's so hard for people to accept death. No one can avoid it, it has happened many many times before, it still happens now, in abundance and will happen in the future and not just people, to all living things. It's so natural. You just cannot deny it. Okay, I'm young, 25 and I haven't got the things out of life most people dream about and achieve and I have the life for it and a future with potential opportunities but I'm allowed to want what I want. And I want to die, I've accepted it.
And things have gone so bad that I can't even talk about things that seriously bother me. The anxiety is unbearable and I choose my right to choose, I choosemy choice in life - death. If I startedfighting against death aswell then my life would be a hundred times worse than it already is now. So by accepting death and being all for it right here and now makes me happy.
Anyway, I found this glorious article while surfing the petition site and it pretty much sums up my thoughts plus it's very well written:
Glee New York review
Gershwin? Yes please.
Although it's a bit too americanized and ugh.
Oh god....please tell me I wasn't the only one grossed out by the Sasquatch's weird-ass dancing during the second chorus of the New York song?! She looked like a fat and jiggly planet spiralling out of control on its trajectory. And what is this stupid song?
"You look so pretty tonight"? It was light out, like noon.
Rachel, Finn - bitches shut up when Kevin's singing!!! Cause everything with those two in it is over the top cheesy.
How the hell was Kurt allowed in the girls room? So any man can say they're gay while let into the girls' room to perv at them now? No person is 100% gay, bi or straight or whichever labels there are.
If you've got a dick in your pants, you stay in the dudes' room not run into the girls room yapping about Tiffany's. I feel so sickened by the media making gay men look like they're a girl's best friend and that they know all about fashion and shit. I like my friends to be normal people, thank you very much and I couldn't care less about fashion. And I'm not saying gay people aren't normal but the ones portrayed in the media are legit retards.
Okay, what's with the whole bowing down to Broadway? It's not that big of a deal. Some random theatre.
Oh a haircut is supposed to make you feel better after a breaking up?
Hmmmm, it rings "a stupid little bell" to quote Jackie Burkhart.
This is exactly what happened in That 70s Show. And I've said it several times before no show comes near the quality and essence of that show.
Oh jaysas, what the fuck was the girl on the white dress doing in the stage? In what world is that called dancing? The tune sounded nice though.
Ahahahaha, brilliant scene!!! The Sunshine girl went to the embassy right before the show to put Rachel in her place. Wow, the show is good. A good way to show the stupidity of the writers and since they put it out there to laugh at I'm doing it.
Ugggggghhhhhhhhh, wish for once the show would be original and not leave the glee club for the last act. It's all so predictible and boring.
Oh and the Light Up The world looked and sounded very much like the other song they did, some... Loser.
Oh and I just couldn't help but notice the horryfing deity that the Sasquatch was. She just looks unbearably gross, what with wearing wearing a short dress that shows her fat o-legs and shit. And her scary bingo-wings! She looks absolutely repulsive.
But you gotta love Mark Salling's dancing. He dances like a grandpa :D He looks suave.
Oh man, I don'tknow if I'm heartless and don't get the show's humour and laugh at the wrong bits or maybe I'm just normal and sensible but I laughed out loud when I saw their sad faces when they learned that they didn't place :D Hahahaaa, it was so funny :D
Okay, the Kurt and Blaine scene. So gay men are the only ones capable of holding down a normal relationship? I will loathe Ryan Murphy for the rest of his life for this shitty gay overload on the show. Men suck. Dick. Men will never be normal human beings. Fucking accept it. You can buttfuck all you want you're still a man and will be one retard til the day you die.
Aha, so there...the speech about acceptance. The one I expected when they were at another competition. Man, I love how I'm always right. Glee sucks monkey butt and that's where they place first. Congradulations!
Although it's a bit too americanized and ugh.
Oh god....please tell me I wasn't the only one grossed out by the Sasquatch's weird-ass dancing during the second chorus of the New York song?! She looked like a fat and jiggly planet spiralling out of control on its trajectory. And what is this stupid song?
"You look so pretty tonight"? It was light out, like noon.
Rachel, Finn - bitches shut up when Kevin's singing!!! Cause everything with those two in it is over the top cheesy.
How the hell was Kurt allowed in the girls room? So any man can say they're gay while let into the girls' room to perv at them now? No person is 100% gay, bi or straight or whichever labels there are.
If you've got a dick in your pants, you stay in the dudes' room not run into the girls room yapping about Tiffany's. I feel so sickened by the media making gay men look like they're a girl's best friend and that they know all about fashion and shit. I like my friends to be normal people, thank you very much and I couldn't care less about fashion. And I'm not saying gay people aren't normal but the ones portrayed in the media are legit retards.
Okay, what's with the whole bowing down to Broadway? It's not that big of a deal. Some random theatre.
Oh a haircut is supposed to make you feel better after a breaking up?
Hmmmm, it rings "a stupid little bell" to quote Jackie Burkhart.
This is exactly what happened in That 70s Show. And I've said it several times before no show comes near the quality and essence of that show.
Oh jaysas, what the fuck was the girl on the white dress doing in the stage? In what world is that called dancing? The tune sounded nice though.
Ahahahaha, brilliant scene!!! The Sunshine girl went to the embassy right before the show to put Rachel in her place. Wow, the show is good. A good way to show the stupidity of the writers and since they put it out there to laugh at I'm doing it.
Ugggggghhhhhhhhh, wish for once the show would be original and not leave the glee club for the last act. It's all so predictible and boring.
Oh and the Light Up The world looked and sounded very much like the other song they did, some... Loser.
Oh and I just couldn't help but notice the horryfing deity that the Sasquatch was. She just looks unbearably gross, what with wearing wearing a short dress that shows her fat o-legs and shit. And her scary bingo-wings! She looks absolutely repulsive.
But you gotta love Mark Salling's dancing. He dances like a grandpa :D He looks suave.
Oh man, I don'tknow if I'm heartless and don't get the show's humour and laugh at the wrong bits or maybe I'm just normal and sensible but I laughed out loud when I saw their sad faces when they learned that they didn't place :D Hahahaaa, it was so funny :D
Okay, the Kurt and Blaine scene. So gay men are the only ones capable of holding down a normal relationship? I will loathe Ryan Murphy for the rest of his life for this shitty gay overload on the show. Men suck. Dick. Men will never be normal human beings. Fucking accept it. You can buttfuck all you want you're still a man and will be one retard til the day you die.
Aha, so there...the speech about acceptance. The one I expected when they were at another competition. Man, I love how I'm always right. Glee sucks monkey butt and that's where they place first. Congradulations!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
My Cup my ass.
So today was a crappy day.
I felt like dead through most of it.
So I'll take a couple of minutes to bitch about someone else other than myself now.
Boy, I cannot wait til the parents start giving out about Glee's My Cup.
It's obscene, especiallyon a show that's aimed at little kids.
And seriously, I cannot wait til the day Kevin McHale admits that Glee is a big load of crap. I saw the videos of him doing Safety Dance on tour and he's either a very stupid but very good looking guy with no personality or brains or he's just quietly sitting by and doing some random shit to pay the rent.
Seriously, I don't think he actually believes the shit he's saying.
He's sitting in a wheelchair for three seasons of the show when he's an excellent dancer. He is an amazing singer who sings cover songs and Rebecca Black's Friday. If he really likes Glee he's a retard. Flat out. And if he says he enjoys Glee or being on the show, he's lying. Flat out.
Holding Kevin back like that just shows what kinda idiots are in charge of the show.
The show is so shit it's only good for talentless nobodies like Dianna Agron and that fat Sasquatch. I mean damn, even Cory Monteith is a better singer and dancer than those two.
Ughhh...why in the world did NLT end?!
I felt like dead through most of it.
So I'll take a couple of minutes to bitch about someone else other than myself now.
Boy, I cannot wait til the parents start giving out about Glee's My Cup.
It's obscene, especiallyon a show that's aimed at little kids.
And seriously, I cannot wait til the day Kevin McHale admits that Glee is a big load of crap. I saw the videos of him doing Safety Dance on tour and he's either a very stupid but very good looking guy with no personality or brains or he's just quietly sitting by and doing some random shit to pay the rent.
Seriously, I don't think he actually believes the shit he's saying.
He's sitting in a wheelchair for three seasons of the show when he's an excellent dancer. He is an amazing singer who sings cover songs and Rebecca Black's Friday. If he really likes Glee he's a retard. Flat out. And if he says he enjoys Glee or being on the show, he's lying. Flat out.
Holding Kevin back like that just shows what kinda idiots are in charge of the show.
The show is so shit it's only good for talentless nobodies like Dianna Agron and that fat Sasquatch. I mean damn, even Cory Monteith is a better singer and dancer than those two.
Ughhh...why in the world did NLT end?!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Card Of The Day - Ixchel (twice) and Conventina
First question was about my health since I'll be seeing another doctor next week. As presumed, I got Ixchel. No lie.
Then I asked about applying to universities and shit, like which ones I will get into or should get into and I got Conventina. I kinda had a feeling I won't be able to go and study this year either so just to make things clearer I pulled another card, and yes surprise surprise I got Ixchel.
Ugh, I'm so over all this anxiety business. I don't wanna hear about it, I just wanna get on with my life.
I'm really only going to see the doctor for my mother cause she is a bit of a fighter for my life, I on the other hand have had enough. I keep telling her I don't wanna go to doctors anymore or concentrate on the illness. And then she says I haven't even tried anything yet.
Yeah, I've put up with anxiety my whole life and the last ten years have been unbearable so I'm allowed to have enough and want a quick end. No more battles.
I can confirm that based on several experiences
I just ate some cheese and want to go to sleep but am too scared.
It is a fact that cheese gives you nightmares and I can confirm that based on several experiences.
It is a fact that cheese gives you nightmares and I can confirm that based on several experiences.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Where's the sun? Behind the cloud doesn't count!
So today is the glorious day of...end of the world.
Well, I must say I wouldn't actually mind but I'll just get on with cleaning up my room, whether the end is here today or not. Oh and the weather forecast said it should be a sunny day. Where's the sun? Behind the cloud doesn't count! Hopefully it'll be lovely tomorrow and I'm quite sure I'll be here in my room alive to witness it and be happy (but anxious as usual).
Well, I must say I wouldn't actually mind but I'll just get on with cleaning up my room, whether the end is here today or not. Oh and the weather forecast said it should be a sunny day. Where's the sun? Behind the cloud doesn't count! Hopefully it'll be lovely tomorrow and I'm quite sure I'll be here in my room alive to witness it and be happy (but anxious as usual).
Friday, May 20, 2011
puppy gets electrocuted
Ugh. Our damn puppy chewed my laptop chord and broke it. The thing was like sizzling and shit and the damn thing kept chewing it.
I was using an extension chord and shit so I couldn't go and unplug the whole thing so I called out to my mother that she would do it but she was being an arse. So I said I don't give a fuck if her shitty puppy gets electrocuted, so I left and left the sizzling chord there with the dogs. And I seriously don't care if one of them gets killed. I blame my mother.
I was using an extension chord and shit so I couldn't go and unplug the whole thing so I called out to my mother that she would do it but she was being an arse. So I said I don't give a fuck if her shitty puppy gets electrocuted, so I left and left the sizzling chord there with the dogs. And I seriously don't care if one of them gets killed. I blame my mother.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Glee Funeral review
So, Glee is taking its continuity to a whole new level. Not that I've seen all of the episode trailers but I've seen the last two and I feel like I'm watching trailers for another show cause they don't match Glee whatsoever and have random storylines in them.
Okay, I have no idea what kinda airhead is responsible for the trailers but they're misleading, false advertising and just shit. I guess the show's ratings are dropping and they put random shit in trailers to make people watch but actually forget to put the thing in the show itself or... maybe a minute long video clip is a bit more in the ability range of Glee writers. Point is, if you're not gonna show it on the show, don't fucking put it in the trailer, your show sucks with or without trailers.
Okay, onto the episode.
So Sue's sister died. Is that the big gay suicide business? And why the hell make such a big deal out of it? She was shown like once or twice before. It's like some random extra in the background had died on the show. Does anybody even care?
And why on Earth does a teacher discuss her family business with some random pupils and tells them she is too scared to deal with the funeral and shit? Glee is one pretentiously emotional rollercoaster and all of the emotional bits are at the wrong, illogical, cheesy moments to preach about togetherness and belonging while making big bucks off of that shit-selling.
And here we go again with Glee saving the world. It's not their fucking business to do anything for Sue, the funeral or Sue's sister, so put your damn song back in your mouth and shut the fuck up, twats.
Well, they're making the Jesse dude sound like a dick when that's the only logical point in the whole show.
Naya Rivera is the shit. Also way too good for the show. But Jesse's point wasn't too off either. Looks like the Glee writers have some sense in their heads but they just bring it out in mean characters. Why, I don't understand.
Was that Kurt's bum wiggling shot for Ryan Murphy's pleasure moments later on?
Okay, what's up with these boring songs!? Mercedes, Kurt, Rachel? And why the hell was Rachel crying? Cause the song was so terrible and boring? I have no idea why she so over played the whole scene, it was so mindless.
Doesn't really anyone else find the whole Kurt-Finn-funeral business very sickening? It's just so disgustingly sugarcoated and horribly cheesy, annoyingly over-pleasing and revolting.
It's just so stomahc churning how everyone in Glee is so fucking "helpful" and "perfect". They're just stupid ass cock suckers and butt lickers. They suck up to everyone and claim they're nice cause they sing and dance.
And Will Schuester isn't a nice man because he went over and finished Sue's text, he's just a lame attention whore. Glee so fails at making these kinda scenes sincere and beautiful. Nobody wants to see the Glee kids' over-expressed faces, they're not real, unless you're seeing real annoyance.
And the Sasquatch still continues to urge me to break her fat face. You hold your breath and count to three!
Anyway, the whole Sue being a big softy thing isn't a surprise anymore. Everyone knows she'll bounce back to her "mean self" with some lame joke. And why make her crawl back to Will?
Why can't the show admit that the Glee clubbers are the biggest fakes and egos and owe apologies to the rest of the school? Yeah and I'll end it on tha note.
Okay, I have no idea what kinda airhead is responsible for the trailers but they're misleading, false advertising and just shit. I guess the show's ratings are dropping and they put random shit in trailers to make people watch but actually forget to put the thing in the show itself or... maybe a minute long video clip is a bit more in the ability range of Glee writers. Point is, if you're not gonna show it on the show, don't fucking put it in the trailer, your show sucks with or without trailers.
Okay, onto the episode.
So Sue's sister died. Is that the big gay suicide business? And why the hell make such a big deal out of it? She was shown like once or twice before. It's like some random extra in the background had died on the show. Does anybody even care?
And why on Earth does a teacher discuss her family business with some random pupils and tells them she is too scared to deal with the funeral and shit? Glee is one pretentiously emotional rollercoaster and all of the emotional bits are at the wrong, illogical, cheesy moments to preach about togetherness and belonging while making big bucks off of that shit-selling.
And here we go again with Glee saving the world. It's not their fucking business to do anything for Sue, the funeral or Sue's sister, so put your damn song back in your mouth and shut the fuck up, twats.
Well, they're making the Jesse dude sound like a dick when that's the only logical point in the whole show.
Naya Rivera is the shit. Also way too good for the show. But Jesse's point wasn't too off either. Looks like the Glee writers have some sense in their heads but they just bring it out in mean characters. Why, I don't understand.
Was that Kurt's bum wiggling shot for Ryan Murphy's pleasure moments later on?
Okay, what's up with these boring songs!? Mercedes, Kurt, Rachel? And why the hell was Rachel crying? Cause the song was so terrible and boring? I have no idea why she so over played the whole scene, it was so mindless.
Doesn't really anyone else find the whole Kurt-Finn-funeral business very sickening? It's just so disgustingly sugarcoated and horribly cheesy, annoyingly over-pleasing and revolting.
It's just so stomahc churning how everyone in Glee is so fucking "helpful" and "perfect". They're just stupid ass cock suckers and butt lickers. They suck up to everyone and claim they're nice cause they sing and dance.
And Will Schuester isn't a nice man because he went over and finished Sue's text, he's just a lame attention whore. Glee so fails at making these kinda scenes sincere and beautiful. Nobody wants to see the Glee kids' over-expressed faces, they're not real, unless you're seeing real annoyance.
And the Sasquatch still continues to urge me to break her fat face. You hold your breath and count to three!
Anyway, the whole Sue being a big softy thing isn't a surprise anymore. Everyone knows she'll bounce back to her "mean self" with some lame joke. And why make her crawl back to Will?
Why can't the show admit that the Glee clubbers are the biggest fakes and egos and owe apologies to the rest of the school? Yeah and I'll end it on tha note.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
one thing I have in common with Christians
Okay, there might be one thing I have in common with Christians.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
I stopped fancying a guy from the very first glance after he'd died his hair blond
Oh no. Kevin McHale got a new haircut.
Hopefully it's nothing disastrous cause I remember very well how in my school days I stopped fancying a guy from the very first glance after he'd died his hair blond. Seriously, what the fuck?!
Hopefully it's nothing disastrous cause I remember very well how in my school days I stopped fancying a guy from the very first glance after he'd died his hair blond. Seriously, what the fuck?!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Glee is actually Gay
Wow, I just had an epiphany: since Glee is so disgustingly over-homosexed I realised the show is actually called Gay. Glee means gay. So the show is indeed about gays and is called Gay.
Total propaganda!
I hate how they're selling their shit based on people's insercurities. Gaga does the same shit. Dirty players in a shitty game. Thank god I'm clever enough not to buy it.
Other than that, man I mowed like the whole earth today. I'm so tired and sore from working. I have a bit of a tan. It's quite light but I haven't burned, I've gone straight to brown which is good. Although I look more like I'm just dirty. Oh and I think it's great the air is still kinda cool cause the sun is HOT. I cannot imagine, well I can, but I don't wanna imagine what it'll be like in summer when the air is hot aswell. Ugh.
Oh my brother went swimming today. Crazy bastard! He said the water wasn't cold but... my cleverness kicks in again on this subject. Mother said he's gone swimming in April before. Crazy stuff. I was thinking of going and sunbathing by the lake near by tomorrow after finishing mowing but the sun is a lot worse near water so I think I'll burn my skin. I might dip in the water aswell. I'll just wait til the brother gets home from school and if he feels like going then I might go along.
Total propaganda!
I hate how they're selling their shit based on people's insercurities. Gaga does the same shit. Dirty players in a shitty game. Thank god I'm clever enough not to buy it.
Other than that, man I mowed like the whole earth today. I'm so tired and sore from working. I have a bit of a tan. It's quite light but I haven't burned, I've gone straight to brown which is good. Although I look more like I'm just dirty. Oh and I think it's great the air is still kinda cool cause the sun is HOT. I cannot imagine, well I can, but I don't wanna imagine what it'll be like in summer when the air is hot aswell. Ugh.
Oh my brother went swimming today. Crazy bastard! He said the water wasn't cold but... my cleverness kicks in again on this subject. Mother said he's gone swimming in April before. Crazy stuff. I was thinking of going and sunbathing by the lake near by tomorrow after finishing mowing but the sun is a lot worse near water so I think I'll burn my skin. I might dip in the water aswell. I'll just wait til the brother gets home from school and if he feels like going then I might go along.
Glee Prom Queen review
Ah, when there's a chance to bitch about the Sasquatch, I'll fucking do it.
Okay, an egg with an egg in it and an egg with a chick in it are NOT the same thing.
There's only a chick in it when the hen got shagged by a rooster, if it didn't then there's just an egg in an egg.
Plus the Sasquatch's scary tree trunk legs give me nightmares, plus she sounds like a smoking three year old.
Anyway, the egg scene reminded me too much of That 70s Show's scene where Jackie couldn't touch an egg cause it had come out of a chicken butt. That was funny and original, this... blah.
And the Artie character is kind of annoying. I mean Kevin McHale's super fit and all and the only reason I watch that crap of a show but the character is way too baby-ish. He's just too fucking mellow. When a man is a rock then he's not even like...molding clay. He's like... melted plasticine. All gooey and shit.
Plus when Brittany still turned him down... that scene reminded me of Save The Last Dance when Sara and Derek fell out and he then was in with the revenge on those dudes who shot at them earlier. Save The Last Dance original and good, Glee....blah (with the exception of Kevin McHale's hotness, nothing tops that).
Yeah and I don't get it why Artie has to be the one who "hurts" women and has to run after them apologizing. This little thing?! The melted plasticine?! Does he drip on your favourite skirt and you can't get the stain off (which ever way you think of it!)? Those women have some serious ego issues! I would understand if you didn't wanna be with a dude like that cause he's more baby than the rest but seriously, that kinda man could never hurt anyone by himself.
Oh and thank god that prom dress scene was so short. The one where the girls tried their dresses on. I totally hate theis stupid stereotype of gay men where they're all into fashion and shit. That kid is still in high school and hasn't even seen another man's dick and suddenly he's all gay and giving fashion advice!? Whatever.
Oh and yeah (the Kurt and Dave scene), gay men ar ethe most understanding, humane and sensitive people ever. Dude, no dude would start fucking crying when some lame ass gay dude was talking about emotional issues with them. Especially not a homophobic person when a homo was pouring their fucking heart out to them. They'd fucking punch that twat in their stupid gay face. And why the fuck make that guy apologize!!???
It's fucking disgusting! It's okay to be homophobic! If it's okay to for a guy to like dudes then it sure is okay for a guy to dislike dudes who like dudes. Simple as that! Fucking Ryan Murphy. I don't know the word but he's a damn hetero-hater.
Friday. Man, I still very much stand by my statement that Glee fans are two faced whores. I'm so sickened by their comments on Youtube saying how lame Rebecca is and Glee is the shit. Seriously, gleeks are bigger retards than Gaga's monsters. Acutally, I don't really give a crap about Gaga, but since I follow up with Glee then...god, gleeks are the biggest and most intolerant fuck faces there are. Fucking fame/attention whores.
Oh and I think it's pretty obvious that Karofsky is gonna commit suicide or something. That's Ryan Murphy saying "if you don't like singing, dancing and gays then you deserve to die and I'm a fucking tolerant bitch, accept everyone for what they are and love and respect them for their beliefs. Peace to the world and long live buttfucking and cock sucking! Gay patriarchy is the shit!"
What's up with Dianna Agron whispering every sentence? Is it supposed to be intimate or something? It sounds scary to me more than anything else.
What is this horrible song they made Darren Criss sing with the Sasquatch looking like a scarecrow on the stage?!
Okay, why the fuck did Kurt run out when he wa sannounced as the queen? Isn't it like the fucking epitome of acceptance?
Okay my internet is being really slow and I cannot see the end cause it won't load but... that's enough bitching I guess.
Okay, an egg with an egg in it and an egg with a chick in it are NOT the same thing.
There's only a chick in it when the hen got shagged by a rooster, if it didn't then there's just an egg in an egg.
Plus the Sasquatch's scary tree trunk legs give me nightmares, plus she sounds like a smoking three year old.
Anyway, the egg scene reminded me too much of That 70s Show's scene where Jackie couldn't touch an egg cause it had come out of a chicken butt. That was funny and original, this... blah.
And the Artie character is kind of annoying. I mean Kevin McHale's super fit and all and the only reason I watch that crap of a show but the character is way too baby-ish. He's just too fucking mellow. When a man is a rock then he's not even like...molding clay. He's like... melted plasticine. All gooey and shit.
Plus when Brittany still turned him down... that scene reminded me of Save The Last Dance when Sara and Derek fell out and he then was in with the revenge on those dudes who shot at them earlier. Save The Last Dance original and good, Glee....blah (with the exception of Kevin McHale's hotness, nothing tops that).
Yeah and I don't get it why Artie has to be the one who "hurts" women and has to run after them apologizing. This little thing?! The melted plasticine?! Does he drip on your favourite skirt and you can't get the stain off (which ever way you think of it!)? Those women have some serious ego issues! I would understand if you didn't wanna be with a dude like that cause he's more baby than the rest but seriously, that kinda man could never hurt anyone by himself.
Oh and thank god that prom dress scene was so short. The one where the girls tried their dresses on. I totally hate theis stupid stereotype of gay men where they're all into fashion and shit. That kid is still in high school and hasn't even seen another man's dick and suddenly he's all gay and giving fashion advice!? Whatever.
Oh and yeah (the Kurt and Dave scene), gay men ar ethe most understanding, humane and sensitive people ever. Dude, no dude would start fucking crying when some lame ass gay dude was talking about emotional issues with them. Especially not a homophobic person when a homo was pouring their fucking heart out to them. They'd fucking punch that twat in their stupid gay face. And why the fuck make that guy apologize!!???
It's fucking disgusting! It's okay to be homophobic! If it's okay to for a guy to like dudes then it sure is okay for a guy to dislike dudes who like dudes. Simple as that! Fucking Ryan Murphy. I don't know the word but he's a damn hetero-hater.
Friday. Man, I still very much stand by my statement that Glee fans are two faced whores. I'm so sickened by their comments on Youtube saying how lame Rebecca is and Glee is the shit. Seriously, gleeks are bigger retards than Gaga's monsters. Acutally, I don't really give a crap about Gaga, but since I follow up with Glee then...god, gleeks are the biggest and most intolerant fuck faces there are. Fucking fame/attention whores.
Oh and I think it's pretty obvious that Karofsky is gonna commit suicide or something. That's Ryan Murphy saying "if you don't like singing, dancing and gays then you deserve to die and I'm a fucking tolerant bitch, accept everyone for what they are and love and respect them for their beliefs. Peace to the world and long live buttfucking and cock sucking! Gay patriarchy is the shit!"
What's up with Dianna Agron whispering every sentence? Is it supposed to be intimate or something? It sounds scary to me more than anything else.
What is this horrible song they made Darren Criss sing with the Sasquatch looking like a scarecrow on the stage?!
Okay, why the fuck did Kurt run out when he wa sannounced as the queen? Isn't it like the fucking epitome of acceptance?
Okay my internet is being really slow and I cannot see the end cause it won't load but... that's enough bitching I guess.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
she doesn't take kindly to other bitches
Okay, where do I start?
I wish there was a device like....a phone for dogs.
I have no idea what their point is or if they're getting or receiving any information but our two dogs and other "neighbours'" dogs are barking like mad dogs. I swear, I didn't even know there were so many people (with dogs) living around us. It's only in the evening when the dogs start barking that you know how many families there are. There's like about 7 dogs barking. Seriosuly, why the fuck bark/communicate when you don't do it for sharing information or just... having a good time. As much as I know dogs understand each other by the sound of their... noise. So, why the fuck bark the same way for like two hous? I'm telling you dogs are stupid when they have to bark in the same tone for two hours to get their point across.
Oh and tonight is the first night that the gnats are out. God, I haven't been bitten by one in years! That was one of the good things about Ireland, no gnats.
Yeah I will be mowing the lawn tomorrow. Can't wait. I hope I can get the lawn mower working. Anything with an engine is not my friend.
Oh and we're still giving away one of our dogs. It's female. Today my mum got a phone call off some man who asked, "Are you still giving away the bitch?" and said, "I gotta talk to my wife about getting a dog cause she doesn't take kindly to other bitches". Fucking weird!
Oh and the internet has been really slow today. Boo!
I wish there was a device like....a phone for dogs.
I have no idea what their point is or if they're getting or receiving any information but our two dogs and other "neighbours'" dogs are barking like mad dogs. I swear, I didn't even know there were so many people (with dogs) living around us. It's only in the evening when the dogs start barking that you know how many families there are. There's like about 7 dogs barking. Seriosuly, why the fuck bark/communicate when you don't do it for sharing information or just... having a good time. As much as I know dogs understand each other by the sound of their... noise. So, why the fuck bark the same way for like two hous? I'm telling you dogs are stupid when they have to bark in the same tone for two hours to get their point across.
Oh and tonight is the first night that the gnats are out. God, I haven't been bitten by one in years! That was one of the good things about Ireland, no gnats.
Yeah I will be mowing the lawn tomorrow. Can't wait. I hope I can get the lawn mower working. Anything with an engine is not my friend.
Oh and we're still giving away one of our dogs. It's female. Today my mum got a phone call off some man who asked, "Are you still giving away the bitch?" and said, "I gotta talk to my wife about getting a dog cause she doesn't take kindly to other bitches". Fucking weird!
Oh and the internet has been really slow today. Boo!
Monday, May 09, 2011
I chew bubble gum and talk fast
Speaking of my forum... it's a post from this one thread that talks about activities during classes in school. I remember very well how I doodled and did fuck all of studying. I actually looked at my old school stuff the other day and came over this book where I had a lot of doodles in. I might actually post some of the stuff here once I get round to it.
TE09052011
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Giving away dogs is not a nice business
Okay. Giving away dogs is not a nice business. You get all sorts of animal rights and breeder people contacting you and sort of giving out to you.
First when we were giving away the puppies this one woman contacted my mother and asked how it was possible that a Dachshund impregnated a Labrador and that it's kind of not right.
Okay, we don't necessarily keep an eye on our dog's sex life. We planned to get it fixed but it god pregnant first.
Yeah so we have one puppy left who we wanna keep cause it has to have an operation done on it and shit.
Plus the German Shepherd we have (not pure breed) well... we wanna get rid of it cause it's not really our dog anyway. It just appeared on our land one day and we kept it here for the time being.
So today this another woman contacts us and she's asking why we wanna get rid of the dog. And I say we cannot afford to have so many dogs and the one isn't ours anyway. And then she's asking about the well being of the puppies and shit. And I'm like we fucking gave away those already, now we wanna get rid of the German Shepherd.
If she gets back to me one more time about the puppies or the Labrador I'm gonna.... not reply to her.
Our dogs are fucking healthy and happy, okay! Does this look like a sick, hungry and unhappy dog to you:
First when we were giving away the puppies this one woman contacted my mother and asked how it was possible that a Dachshund impregnated a Labrador and that it's kind of not right.
Okay, we don't necessarily keep an eye on our dog's sex life. We planned to get it fixed but it god pregnant first.
Yeah so we have one puppy left who we wanna keep cause it has to have an operation done on it and shit.
Plus the German Shepherd we have (not pure breed) well... we wanna get rid of it cause it's not really our dog anyway. It just appeared on our land one day and we kept it here for the time being.
So today this another woman contacts us and she's asking why we wanna get rid of the dog. And I say we cannot afford to have so many dogs and the one isn't ours anyway. And then she's asking about the well being of the puppies and shit. And I'm like we fucking gave away those already, now we wanna get rid of the German Shepherd.
If she gets back to me one more time about the puppies or the Labrador I'm gonna.... not reply to her.
Our dogs are fucking healthy and happy, okay! Does this look like a sick, hungry and unhappy dog to you:
Media has done nothing but shit ever since it started reigning beside the patriarchy.
Okay, so I told my mother this morning I didn't want a man but a woman.
It wasn't like a coming out story or anything, my mother knows I hate men and that they're only good for sex. Plus she hates them herself.
Anyway, she started going on about those homo parades. And I said not all "homosexual" people go on those parades. Not that I'm a fan of those parades but a couple of little parades are in no way comparable to the rest of the oversexed heterosexual world. I wouldn't even separate the things, everything is oversexed and the homosexual shit is just a little fraction of it all.
My mother started taking about how everything should be celebrated then: zoophilia, pedophilia etc. That is a very common and cliche answer from.... people with the kinda views on the subject. And I'm like, everything is fine and worth celebrating when nobody gets hurt. But the thing is, what happens in a lot of heterosexual marriages - husbands rape their wives. But it's "okay" because a woman "has to sleep with the man because they're married". And heterosexual marriage is like... fucking sacred to the world and everybody fucking gushes when they hear the word like it makes them fucking immortal or something. Sure women rape aswell but there are far more stories and criminals like that amongst men.
So the issue is not about women or homosexuality, it's about men and patriarchy. Where ever and when ever there is a man there's sexual tension, violence and as a result of those two - perversion - doing something sexual to someone against their will. So in light of that, I think it's only healthy when men stick to men. They can perv together and leave normal people - women - alone. Although any "woman" who's had an abortion should stick with men cause....they're retarded. Like I've said before, the nature sets off the embryo as female and later on the sex of the baby is determined which makes men retarded women. So when a woman is given the abilty to have a baby and she kills it she defies nature and instantly becomes retarded, like a man. She is no longer a woman cause she defies the woman-only abilities. Plus she knowingly stops/decreases the continuity of the species. Being homosexual is not a choice but having an abortion is.
So I asked my mother if people should stop celebrating birthdays aswell cause some women decide to kill their babies and it's not normal and how can we party when retarded shit like that happens in the world, wouldn't we be drawing more attention to the abortion like that. My point at the time was that the world is oversexed and for some reason homosexuality gets in people's way.
Plus there are cases in which it is impossible to tell whether the person is a man or a woman (I read that there are some women out there with the chromosomes X and Y). So by genes they're supposed to be men but they don't have any manly features because the certain gene just doesn't...show. I know it's rare but it just shows nature is relative and you cannot set boundaries like that (that a woman has to be with a man).
If women were supposed to be with men then why do men hang out with men and women with women. Shouldn't we all like....be hating our sex's individuals and only hang out with the opposite sex?
And I don't understand why people hate gays, like... okay they're freaks but it's okay, they cannot breed so what the fuck is the problem?! If you're a hater of that then like...it's fine, they don't breed and become extinct. Problem solved. Let them have their fucking parades, who gives a fuck. And my mother said they shouldn't be doing their parades cause nobody gives a fuck who they fuck. Well, if you don't give a fuck then why do you hate it all?! You shouldn't fucking have an opinion on the subject.
I do have an opinion cause I hate men with a reason - they're selfish bastards, I can tell it from an abundance of personal experience.
I doubt my mother knows a bunch of homosexuals. I asked her where the lesbians are that she hates so much and she couldn't give me an answer.
Plus I think this "homosexual" shit is just a stupid propaganda. If there was no title of this kind people wouldn't know any different. Like if there was no christianity and non-christians (or as the christians like to say "satans") then people wouldn't know any different either.
Damn, I hope the fucking solar storm will come and wipe out all of the internet and electrical business. Media has done nothing but shit ever since it started reigning beside the patriarchy.
It wasn't like a coming out story or anything, my mother knows I hate men and that they're only good for sex. Plus she hates them herself.
Anyway, she started going on about those homo parades. And I said not all "homosexual" people go on those parades. Not that I'm a fan of those parades but a couple of little parades are in no way comparable to the rest of the oversexed heterosexual world. I wouldn't even separate the things, everything is oversexed and the homosexual shit is just a little fraction of it all.
My mother started taking about how everything should be celebrated then: zoophilia, pedophilia etc. That is a very common and cliche answer from.... people with the kinda views on the subject. And I'm like, everything is fine and worth celebrating when nobody gets hurt. But the thing is, what happens in a lot of heterosexual marriages - husbands rape their wives. But it's "okay" because a woman "has to sleep with the man because they're married". And heterosexual marriage is like... fucking sacred to the world and everybody fucking gushes when they hear the word like it makes them fucking immortal or something. Sure women rape aswell but there are far more stories and criminals like that amongst men.
So the issue is not about women or homosexuality, it's about men and patriarchy. Where ever and when ever there is a man there's sexual tension, violence and as a result of those two - perversion - doing something sexual to someone against their will. So in light of that, I think it's only healthy when men stick to men. They can perv together and leave normal people - women - alone. Although any "woman" who's had an abortion should stick with men cause....they're retarded. Like I've said before, the nature sets off the embryo as female and later on the sex of the baby is determined which makes men retarded women. So when a woman is given the abilty to have a baby and she kills it she defies nature and instantly becomes retarded, like a man. She is no longer a woman cause she defies the woman-only abilities. Plus she knowingly stops/decreases the continuity of the species. Being homosexual is not a choice but having an abortion is.
So I asked my mother if people should stop celebrating birthdays aswell cause some women decide to kill their babies and it's not normal and how can we party when retarded shit like that happens in the world, wouldn't we be drawing more attention to the abortion like that. My point at the time was that the world is oversexed and for some reason homosexuality gets in people's way.
Plus there are cases in which it is impossible to tell whether the person is a man or a woman (I read that there are some women out there with the chromosomes X and Y). So by genes they're supposed to be men but they don't have any manly features because the certain gene just doesn't...show. I know it's rare but it just shows nature is relative and you cannot set boundaries like that (that a woman has to be with a man).
If women were supposed to be with men then why do men hang out with men and women with women. Shouldn't we all like....be hating our sex's individuals and only hang out with the opposite sex?
And I don't understand why people hate gays, like... okay they're freaks but it's okay, they cannot breed so what the fuck is the problem?! If you're a hater of that then like...it's fine, they don't breed and become extinct. Problem solved. Let them have their fucking parades, who gives a fuck. And my mother said they shouldn't be doing their parades cause nobody gives a fuck who they fuck. Well, if you don't give a fuck then why do you hate it all?! You shouldn't fucking have an opinion on the subject.
I do have an opinion cause I hate men with a reason - they're selfish bastards, I can tell it from an abundance of personal experience.
I doubt my mother knows a bunch of homosexuals. I asked her where the lesbians are that she hates so much and she couldn't give me an answer.
Plus I think this "homosexual" shit is just a stupid propaganda. If there was no title of this kind people wouldn't know any different. Like if there was no christianity and non-christians (or as the christians like to say "satans") then people wouldn't know any different either.
Damn, I hope the fucking solar storm will come and wipe out all of the internet and electrical business. Media has done nothing but shit ever since it started reigning beside the patriarchy.
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Glee Friday review
Okay, I gotta pick up this subject again.
So Glee fans were complaining when they did Justin Bieber and now they're complaining cause they're doing Rebecca Black. Ugh, what retards!
The result is everybody ends up liking the songs and say stuff like "This song is actually good".
Well of course it is. It's just that you're a mindless fucked up retard who doesn't know what's what unless it's pointed out in the media.
It's unreal how idiotic those people are. And they go around calling themselves gleeks. Glee was supposed to be about accepting people the way they are, much more preaching about how singing is cool. So why the fuck complain about Rebecca and Justin - kids who like singing?! I bet those cunt faces can't produce any kind of noise whatsoever or do anything else half decently.
Ughhh, I cannot wait til Glee is over or til Kevin McHale finds a new job cause I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sick of this Glee shit. It's the worst fucking show ever. It's even worse than Friends and Sex And The City.
I swear this show makes me hate gay people and music. I can see how people cannot stand homos and their parades - it's fucking as annoying as Ryan Murphy's gay Glee parade. You just wanna kill a bitch.
I've so had enough of the fucking preaching about gays. Bring on the music and shut the fuck up already, nobody gives a shit about who buttfucks whom. Anal is horrible anyway. I think Ryan Murphy has mistaken writing a script with watching porn cause he seems to put his fantasies and perversions into Glee.
About the song itself. Well, I think it sounds good enough. Pretty much the same but Mark Salling has a very nice voice so...
So Glee fans were complaining when they did Justin Bieber and now they're complaining cause they're doing Rebecca Black. Ugh, what retards!
The result is everybody ends up liking the songs and say stuff like "This song is actually good".
Well of course it is. It's just that you're a mindless fucked up retard who doesn't know what's what unless it's pointed out in the media.
It's unreal how idiotic those people are. And they go around calling themselves gleeks. Glee was supposed to be about accepting people the way they are, much more preaching about how singing is cool. So why the fuck complain about Rebecca and Justin - kids who like singing?! I bet those cunt faces can't produce any kind of noise whatsoever or do anything else half decently.
Ughhh, I cannot wait til Glee is over or til Kevin McHale finds a new job cause I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sick of this Glee shit. It's the worst fucking show ever. It's even worse than Friends and Sex And The City.
I swear this show makes me hate gay people and music. I can see how people cannot stand homos and their parades - it's fucking as annoying as Ryan Murphy's gay Glee parade. You just wanna kill a bitch.
I've so had enough of the fucking preaching about gays. Bring on the music and shut the fuck up already, nobody gives a shit about who buttfucks whom. Anal is horrible anyway. I think Ryan Murphy has mistaken writing a script with watching porn cause he seems to put his fantasies and perversions into Glee.
About the song itself. Well, I think it sounds good enough. Pretty much the same but Mark Salling has a very nice voice so...
Friday, May 06, 2011
According To Greta
Just seen According To Greta.
Yeah, I think Hilary Duff isn't that good of an actress.
She works with her Lizzie McQuire type of characters but anything else... she can't do.
Plus the ending was kinda crappy... The mother acted like a 13 year old I swear.
And the girl herself wasn't that big of a trouble anyway so I have no idea why everyone was freaking out so much. She just had a little bit of attitude but it was just....barking, no biting.
Yeah so... the ending didn't really solve anything. Just because a family lives under one roof doesn't mean they have no problems or looking at old photographs solves them.
A weak one.
Yeah, I think Hilary Duff isn't that good of an actress.
She works with her Lizzie McQuire type of characters but anything else... she can't do.
Plus the ending was kinda crappy... The mother acted like a 13 year old I swear.
And the girl herself wasn't that big of a trouble anyway so I have no idea why everyone was freaking out so much. She just had a little bit of attitude but it was just....barking, no biting.
Yeah so... the ending didn't really solve anything. Just because a family lives under one roof doesn't mean they have no problems or looking at old photographs solves them.
A weak one.
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Kevin's really gone now
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Glee Rumours review
What's with the "Hit it!"?
Qwyneth said it first and now it's in every episode before every song?
Lea Michele's lipsyncing is so bad. She goes overboard with her mouth and facial expressions. It's scary.
Okay, Sam's living in a motel? Damn, why don't all the homeless and jobless people live in motels? I mean you get free shelter, breakfast and you get people to clean after you. It's brilliant!
TS04052011
Qwyneth said it first and now it's in every episode before every song?
Lea Michele's lipsyncing is so bad. She goes overboard with her mouth and facial expressions. It's scary.
Okay, Sam's living in a motel? Damn, why don't all the homeless and jobless people live in motels? I mean you get free shelter, breakfast and you get people to clean after you. It's brilliant!
TS04052011
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
I have never ever let myself down like that ever in my life
Fuck!
Anxiety!
So everything was going great. I didn't feel nervous about my exam today at all. Never ever. Not once cause it was an English exam.
I got up at six and was like... cool.
Then I took my brother's bike and went to Tartu.
Had to go to my mother's workplace first to print out the examination paper thingy.
I was not nervous! I was like, "Blah, English!".
And I was a little late for the exam. But I made it.
First my pen wouldn't work.
Then asked the girl next to me for a pen. It stopped working.
Asked her for another pen and it stopped working.
Then asked one of the examination ladies for a pen, that worked.
The first task was to write a letter and an essay.
How fucking easy!?
I was doing so great with the essay and I was a bit taken aback cause I couldn't remember how to close off a formal letter but whatever. I could've just written "Yours sincerely" and lose a point or something BUT.
For whatever idiotic reason I got an anxiety attack and it totally made me lose concentration so I gave the ladies my paper and walked out. I never got write the letter and had about a hundred word essay (200 was needed). I told them I got an anxiety attack and couldn't do it. They tried to get me to stay for the second half - grammar - aswell but I was there for the points and if I knew I had handed in a half arsed essay and no letter that I'm very much capable of writing then the grammar bit wouldn't have helped me.
So everything sucked monkey butt!!
I have no idea why I freaked out. It's fucking English! I can do English! Fucking blindfolded if I have to. I swear!!!!! I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo disappointed. I have never ever let myself down like that ever in my life.
And this has made me very weary about the other exams cause...for those I have to study a lot. Read a lot of books and remember lots of stuff. If I couldn't do English then how the fuck am I supposed to do those?! I hate this stupid anxiety so much!! Will it fucking ever give it a rest?! And my mother said if I'm like that then I won't be able to cope with the the pressure and the amount of stuff to study in university and that is the only goal in my life right now. If I don't have that, I have nothing. Nothing to live for. Cause If I cannot study then I sure as hell cannot hold down a job cause of the fucking anxiety.
Fuck!
Well, I didn't really feel like hanging around Tartu much cause I was in a crappy mood after that. And I didn't want to make my stupid body and mind happy by buying things for myself. Like chocolate and a camera. Fuck this body, I'm not taking it out on Tartu if it acts like that.
Yeah and then I rode home. Up the wind! Fifteen fucking kilometres!
Yeah so....played a bit of piano/keyboard. Fed the puppies.Oh four of them have been "booked". And my Kevin is so popular. Several people have called in and wanted him. He's adorable though.
I thought I'd take one of the pups in again to cuddle but when I fed them indoors three of them managed to poop on the floor.
Actually my mother's man might buy me a camera. I talked to him on the phone and said he can buy me one cause he knows the stuff better than I do.
Yeah so....actually I'll go and get one of the puppies and watch some happy film to cheer me up.
Anxiety!
So everything was going great. I didn't feel nervous about my exam today at all. Never ever. Not once cause it was an English exam.
I got up at six and was like... cool.
Then I took my brother's bike and went to Tartu.
Had to go to my mother's workplace first to print out the examination paper thingy.
I was not nervous! I was like, "Blah, English!".
And I was a little late for the exam. But I made it.
First my pen wouldn't work.
Then asked the girl next to me for a pen. It stopped working.
Asked her for another pen and it stopped working.
Then asked one of the examination ladies for a pen, that worked.
The first task was to write a letter and an essay.
How fucking easy!?
I was doing so great with the essay and I was a bit taken aback cause I couldn't remember how to close off a formal letter but whatever. I could've just written "Yours sincerely" and lose a point or something BUT.
For whatever idiotic reason I got an anxiety attack and it totally made me lose concentration so I gave the ladies my paper and walked out. I never got write the letter and had about a hundred word essay (200 was needed). I told them I got an anxiety attack and couldn't do it. They tried to get me to stay for the second half - grammar - aswell but I was there for the points and if I knew I had handed in a half arsed essay and no letter that I'm very much capable of writing then the grammar bit wouldn't have helped me.
So everything sucked monkey butt!!
I have no idea why I freaked out. It's fucking English! I can do English! Fucking blindfolded if I have to. I swear!!!!! I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo disappointed. I have never ever let myself down like that ever in my life.
And this has made me very weary about the other exams cause...for those I have to study a lot. Read a lot of books and remember lots of stuff. If I couldn't do English then how the fuck am I supposed to do those?! I hate this stupid anxiety so much!! Will it fucking ever give it a rest?! And my mother said if I'm like that then I won't be able to cope with the the pressure and the amount of stuff to study in university and that is the only goal in my life right now. If I don't have that, I have nothing. Nothing to live for. Cause If I cannot study then I sure as hell cannot hold down a job cause of the fucking anxiety.
Fuck!
Well, I didn't really feel like hanging around Tartu much cause I was in a crappy mood after that. And I didn't want to make my stupid body and mind happy by buying things for myself. Like chocolate and a camera. Fuck this body, I'm not taking it out on Tartu if it acts like that.
Yeah and then I rode home. Up the wind! Fifteen fucking kilometres!
Yeah so....played a bit of piano/keyboard. Fed the puppies.Oh four of them have been "booked". And my Kevin is so popular. Several people have called in and wanted him. He's adorable though.
Actually my mother's man might buy me a camera. I talked to him on the phone and said he can buy me one cause he knows the stuff better than I do.
Yeah so....actually I'll go and get one of the puppies and watch some happy film to cheer me up.
Monday, May 02, 2011
You're just like us
Okay, I don't wanna brag too soon but I think I quite like living with my mother.I get on with the brother quite well. Well...kinda. I mean I made him cry today but whatever. (He didn't hoover the floor properly and I turned off his computer so he'd concentrate on the floor not his game and he started crying).
The one thing I like is that my mother's family all like cold rooms. I mean woohoooo!!!! She said I can keep the window open and when I told her I like a cool room with fresh air she said, "You're just like us".
Hopefully I'll be able to go to Tartu tomorrow and shop for a bit. I wanna buy a new camera.
And another thing, my brother had a keyboard that's now upstairs. I plan to make it a music room, along with my violin. I already played a bit on the keyboard but the brother said I was giving him a headache. Oh my room is upstairs!. The house itself looks a little shabby but it's still our own and we own a forest! Hell yeah!
So I was suppose to be upstairs by my self but I feel a little scared. Um, I've seen one too many ghost films. So my brother will move upstairs aswell. Tonight he's sleeping in my room with me.
Oh and I hate unpacking. So many clothes and so much of other stuff.
Right so, I'm off to bed soon. I might go and do an exam tomorrow, I'll see how my anxiety is in the morning.
On the side note: I cannot believe how many USA supporters there are on my forum, the amount of people who believe 9/11 was a terrorist attack. But then again a lot of them think you can get pregnant when kissing so... Gullibility is the word.
The one thing I like is that my mother's family all like cold rooms. I mean woohoooo!!!! She said I can keep the window open and when I told her I like a cool room with fresh air she said, "You're just like us".
Hopefully I'll be able to go to Tartu tomorrow and shop for a bit. I wanna buy a new camera.
And another thing, my brother had a keyboard that's now upstairs. I plan to make it a music room, along with my violin. I already played a bit on the keyboard but the brother said I was giving him a headache. Oh my room is upstairs!. The house itself looks a little shabby but it's still our own and we own a forest! Hell yeah!
So I was suppose to be upstairs by my self but I feel a little scared. Um, I've seen one too many ghost films. So my brother will move upstairs aswell. Tonight he's sleeping in my room with me.
Oh and I hate unpacking. So many clothes and so much of other stuff.
Right so, I'm off to bed soon. I might go and do an exam tomorrow, I'll see how my anxiety is in the morning.
On the side note: I cannot believe how many USA supporters there are on my forum, the amount of people who believe 9/11 was a terrorist attack. But then again a lot of them think you can get pregnant when kissing so... Gullibility is the word.
Kevin's gone
So we're busy getting rid of our pups:
The light brown one is my fave. I actually told my mother I wanna keep that. I mean I said I wanna keep a dog!
I told the dog today, "You're the best dog in the world " and then this woman called and said she wants it. Blah!
And tomorrow the one on the right in the first pic will be taken aswell.
The first time I saw the light brown one I asked my mother what his name was and she said he didn't have one. So I called him Kevin. And he's so nice and calm and now....gone.
I even wanted to take him to my room tonight and cuddle but I already took two of them in and one of them peed on my bed and the other one pooped on the floor.
I told the dog today, "You're the best dog in the world " and then this woman called and said she wants it. Blah!
And tomorrow the one on the right in the first pic will be taken aswell.
The first time I saw the light brown one I asked my mother what his name was and she said he didn't have one. So I called him Kevin. And he's so nice and calm and now....gone.
I even wanted to take him to my room tonight and cuddle but I already took two of them in and one of them peed on my bed and the other one pooped on the floor.
America Shamerica
Okay Bin Laden is dead. Wasn't he dead like.... years ago?
And the article I read said that Obama had said that 3000 American soldiers were dead cause of him. Oh dear, what a catastrophy! Maybe if America had kept its fat big nose out of other country's business the men would be alive!? Unless America had decided to bomb itself one more time and blame it on the rest of the world again. And seriously all of the people and animals USA has killed really isn't that big of a deal compared to the three thousand dead American soldiers! One dead American equals about tens of thousands other unimportant dead nationalities. If you're not American you're the scum of the Earth.
Urghhh, America disgusts me at times like these. I really hope there will actually be a terrorist attack in America and that they will succeed and will take down the horrible dictator.
Oh and when there's the solar storm then I'm not that bothered at all about big cities suffering. Isn't that what America has? Okay, you cannot live on things like that. You have to depend on nature not fucking America and it's technology. I bet it's not the solar storm that will kill us, or the volcanoes or earthquakes and tsunamis, it will be USA.
Yeah enough of talking about shit.
Yesterday was quite an interesting day. I had my very first ride on a scooter and I chopped wood.
Oh and the weather has gone cold again and there is no heating in my mother's house so I was freezing during the night.
And we very actively are trying to get rid of our puppies. I've been making ads and shit all day long today.
Yeah...will go out for a while with the brother now.
And the article I read said that Obama had said that 3000 American soldiers were dead cause of him. Oh dear, what a catastrophy! Maybe if America had kept its fat big nose out of other country's business the men would be alive!? Unless America had decided to bomb itself one more time and blame it on the rest of the world again. And seriously all of the people and animals USA has killed really isn't that big of a deal compared to the three thousand dead American soldiers! One dead American equals about tens of thousands other unimportant dead nationalities. If you're not American you're the scum of the Earth.
Urghhh, America disgusts me at times like these. I really hope there will actually be a terrorist attack in America and that they will succeed and will take down the horrible dictator.
Oh and when there's the solar storm then I'm not that bothered at all about big cities suffering. Isn't that what America has? Okay, you cannot live on things like that. You have to depend on nature not fucking America and it's technology. I bet it's not the solar storm that will kill us, or the volcanoes or earthquakes and tsunamis, it will be USA.
Yeah enough of talking about shit.
Yesterday was quite an interesting day. I had my very first ride on a scooter and I chopped wood.
Oh and the weather has gone cold again and there is no heating in my mother's house so I was freezing during the night.
And we very actively are trying to get rid of our puppies. I've been making ads and shit all day long today.
Yeah...will go out for a while with the brother now.
Sunday, May 01, 2011
I made it to Tartu this time.
Okay. I made it to Tartu this time. On my own. Almost.
Before I developed anxiety when riding a bike but luckily I got rid of it the day before coming to Tartu.
I couldn't sleep all night so I finally got up at three and tried to eat a little and write down the destinations/place names to know where to go on my way.
At about half four I started moving.
About 30 km from Tartu I got really tired and hungry and had a bit of an anxiety attack.
Luckily there was a gas stations and I got some food there.
Yeah and then at about 11 km to Tartu I gave up and waited for my mother to come and pick me up.
Yeah and she came with her man. And I was freaking out about being a in a car so I totally missed Tartu. Oh well.
Anyway we finally got to my mother's place outside the town and....everything's cool.
I was like.....EXHAUSTED yesterday. So tired and felt like shit. Had a fever and my face was burned. I never even noticed when it was so hot and sunny out cause most of the time when I was riding it was freezing cold, especially around sunrise.
Oh and we got to my mother's house around...1 or 2 so...it took me about 8 or 9 hours to ride 90 km.
All of my stuff is still at my dad's place but the mother and her man went to visit someone in Viljandi today and will go to my dad's place aswell to collect my stuff. I really miss my laptop! I mean we have like two desktop computers here and one laptop but I still want my own. Oh and the internet connection here is unbelievably slow.
Yeah and my mother has 7 dogs. A Labrador, a German Shepherd and 5 pups. Plus one of the neighbour's dogs is always walking around on our land. And fuck, the neighbour's dogs a weird. Like yesterday the other dog they have was trying to hump a cat! Seriously!? And it bit the cat so hard it had cat fluff all over it's face.
Yeah...so I guess today when the parents get back home I'll be putting my stuff in the closets and... that's it. I still feel a bit poorly, think I have a fever and my body is a little stiff (not as bad as I thought it would be).
Oh and me and my brother, we have to work outside a little today. There are lots of mole burrows where we grow trees so we have to... get rid of them. The burrows not the moles.
Before I developed anxiety when riding a bike but luckily I got rid of it the day before coming to Tartu.
I couldn't sleep all night so I finally got up at three and tried to eat a little and write down the destinations/place names to know where to go on my way.
At about half four I started moving.
About 30 km from Tartu I got really tired and hungry and had a bit of an anxiety attack.
Luckily there was a gas stations and I got some food there.
Yeah and then at about 11 km to Tartu I gave up and waited for my mother to come and pick me up.
Yeah and she came with her man. And I was freaking out about being a in a car so I totally missed Tartu. Oh well.
Anyway we finally got to my mother's place outside the town and....everything's cool.
I was like.....EXHAUSTED yesterday. So tired and felt like shit. Had a fever and my face was burned. I never even noticed when it was so hot and sunny out cause most of the time when I was riding it was freezing cold, especially around sunrise.
Oh and we got to my mother's house around...1 or 2 so...it took me about 8 or 9 hours to ride 90 km.
All of my stuff is still at my dad's place but the mother and her man went to visit someone in Viljandi today and will go to my dad's place aswell to collect my stuff. I really miss my laptop! I mean we have like two desktop computers here and one laptop but I still want my own. Oh and the internet connection here is unbelievably slow.
Yeah and my mother has 7 dogs. A Labrador, a German Shepherd and 5 pups. Plus one of the neighbour's dogs is always walking around on our land. And fuck, the neighbour's dogs a weird. Like yesterday the other dog they have was trying to hump a cat! Seriously!? And it bit the cat so hard it had cat fluff all over it's face.
Yeah...so I guess today when the parents get back home I'll be putting my stuff in the closets and... that's it. I still feel a bit poorly, think I have a fever and my body is a little stiff (not as bad as I thought it would be).
Oh and me and my brother, we have to work outside a little today. There are lots of mole burrows where we grow trees so we have to... get rid of them. The burrows not the moles.
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